Get over it...I did

I iz a'scared

2012-01-21T23:11:00.000+11:00

I'm drowning.
There is so much ready to pounce on us in the coming months it feels like everything is LOOMING over us like a teetering tower of monster blocks about to splat us under the weight.

Return to school, return to the Risperdone, Feral Aspie having anxiety attacks at Every.Little.Thing in his daily routine including using public transport and snapping his Myki card in half yet again - those suckers cost $10 a pop to replace, we've replaced 2 so far with a 3rd on the horizon cos Metcards are being phased out.
*sigh*
Return to Feral Aspie being bullied, misunderstanding others' social meanings, not hearing/processing what is said to him, getting hold of the wrong end of the stick and/or missing complete instructions from teachers.
He gets a free netbook through the school this year - I am FREAKING that he'll vague out and leave it on the bus, drop it, put it down to tie his shoelaces then walk off without it, play rugby with it (don't laugh, he played rugby while his broken arm was in a cast. And wondered why it hurt even more.It may have been the reason he had to have surgery to straighten the break.).

He turns 16 at the end of this year, which means we have to apply for adult carers allowance for him, which means we have to fill in a forest of paperwork and jump through hoops.
And plus HE'S TURNING 16.
Sixteen....SIXTEEN.
He already thinks he knows everything (yes, he does, if we're cataloguing dinosaurs, transformers, Hot Wheels cars, the family of arachnids and Minecraft).

Now there's news articles detailing how those with high functioning autism will lose their diagnosis, how Aspergers will disappear into being lumped into the autism umbrella, the scare-mongering is running rife.
In the long run there's going to be an ugly transition period where parents are going to have to fight to retain their kids original diagnosis, if only to claw back the measly few pennies they are granted to 'assist' with their child's disability.
Cos the freaking label might suddenly disappear like smoke when this new book gets published but the freaking disability doesn't.

I.Am.Drowning in a sea of anxiety, worry, panic attacks and all I can see when I try to look forward is a swirling black mess.

Let's talk about suicide

2012-01-08T14:10:00.000+11:00

The current, long-standing argument is that we and the media shouldn't discuss it/gloss over it lest articles glamorise the act of suicide and encourages others to follow suit.
Well, guess what?
This whole not talking about it thing?
It's not working.

Both my eldest and Feral Aspie teen have depression amongst other issues and both have attempted suicide, multiple times with Feral Aspie teen, still ongoing.

We talk openly about suicide at home and how it is the need to end something in a persons life - be it an emotion, a habit, a group of friends, bullying - but actually ending the life itself is not the answer.

Did you know suicide is the leading cause of death in our youth second only to car accidents?
And how many of those car 'accidents' aren't accidents?
Which leads to asking...how many farm 'accidents' aren't accidents?
How many 'accidental over doses' aren't accidental?
How many pedestrian accidents aren't 'accidents'?
The list goes on.

Our bright young children, our future, the next generation - these are our beloved babies, those little beings we guided to adolescence with their knee scrapes, birthdays, school reports and everything in between.

And they are killing themselves.

Not talking about it hasn't stemmed the suicide numbers.
How about we try openly discussing suicide to explain that it isn't the answer to every miserable feeling, it won't cure lovesickness, that it won't change the world... that the only thing it will achieve will be to snuff out their future chances of being on top of the world...and crush those who love them.

Heat stroke Xmas pressie Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T13:54:00.000+11:00

Thank you for your kind words in my previous post.
At the rate this kid is going he'll have 'speed walker' or cat walk model as his main career.
Let me explain....

I won't mention the fact he said something, somewhere and later told me about it and that I *may* have over-reacted to this thing that he said.
But I still maintain it was wrong....
I won't mention that he packed his bag, kicked out the fly-wire screen in his bedroom window (which was less like Chuck Norris and more like Sheldon trying to escape a swarm of flying ants) and took off on Christmas Eve.
Hot Christmas Eve.
With no money.
With having no brekkie or meds or fluids.
Because that would mean listening and doing as his parents had nagged him for a gazillion times.
Cos...what teen would do that?!

I won't mention that the police were called, that the air wing (helicopter) was alerted and in the sky searching for him.
I won't mention that he eventually returned, several hours later, with a delightful dose of heat stroke having speed walked to Carnegie station, then caught the train into the city and wandered about in the heat for some time (carrying a heavy backpack) before realising how thirsty he was.
I won't mention how ill he was, vomiting up all the fluids he drank until my nagging finally got through to him to sip it s-l-o-w-l-y.
Oh, yeah, I did the whole "I told you so" thing.

I won't mention how the little bugger has always been a challenge for keeping his fluids up in the heat but this year he's being contrary; digging his toes in and deliberately refusing to drink the more we nag.
Plus insisting on wearing cold weather clothing and sleeping under his thick, heavy, weighted blankets.
Which is his normal thing but it's becoming more marked as his anxiety rises with passing time, despite the increased meds (which could be feeding my anxiety but let's not mention that, ok?).
And complaining about the noise the fans make....him, not me.

Nor will I mention how getting him to eat is an adventure game in itself, as ceasing the Risperdone has robbed him of the false, increased appetite and we're back to the usual picking like a baby bird with the ritual "I'm not hungry,".
Unless it's chocolate...then he'll eat it until he's sick.
Literally.
Brown waves of a sickly ocean washing over the floor...not pretty.

He's dropping weight without even trying, which he's loving cos he was getting all self-conscious about the tiny pot belly he'd developed.
Tiny!!!
Now the non-existent hips aren't holding up the board shorts (no budgie smugglers in this household, thankyouverymuch).

I won't mention how much bribery runs this household... from this morning if he doesn't drink or eat when he's given fluids/food then he loses 30 mins of his precious game of Minecraft.
Any lip and he loses a further 30 mins.
He told me what he thought, which wasn't a lot, let me tell you.
But it's working.
For now.
Until he finds something else to irritate him.

Now, seeing as how I haven't mentioned a thing, let's hope 2012 is a splediferously wonderful year for us all!

Aspie futures

2011-12-22T15:59:00.000+11:00

Here we are December already and Xmas rat-a-tat-tatting on the door.
Yes, the shopping is done.
I think.
Hubby did the Chrissy tree and decs while I had the Feral Aspie teen up in Dunolly.
He got his happy on....he trundled about on his treadly, we sang in the choir for the Chrissy carols and he et a delish chicken parma in The Royal Hotel ( cooked by Mine Host, Karen The Kitchen Whizz).

He's been so full of emotions these past few weeks - end of the year irritation picked up from the other kids at school, excitement at school hols, excitement at staying in Dunolly, birthday excitement (he's a whole 15 now, where the hell did those years go??!!) and so on and so forth.
You get the picture - typical Aspie and typical teen coping with all these GINORMOUS churning emotions inside.
But he's been a good kid.
Got his happy on cos of Dunolly.
And wants to get a part-time job.....

But.
We are starting to get scared for his future.
Like any parents we want to see him independent, doing whatever job/work career that floats his boat and coping with Life.
But.
With his Auditory Sensory issues we can't see him coping with even a part-time job after school...he barely takes in the instructions of school lessons or conversations with friends, how much basic Occ Health and Safety will he retain?
He works at a s-l-o-w pace, hurrying him up Does.Not.Work, it only angers him...how many bosses will tolerate a time-poor employee (who has NO concept of time itself) with what they perceive as "attitude" before booting him out?
How many knocks to his self-esteem will he have to cop before something, anything, turns up?

We've even tossed around the mad idea of starting a business in Dunolly just so he could work at his own pace, learn basic safety proceedures at his own pace, work without a boss hanging over his shoulder or the stress and pressure of keeping up.
How to start a business - what business?! - we have not the foggiest.
This would, of course, involve selling my Dad's house and using that money as we are stoney broke and on pensions.
How would we do this with my vision impairment, hubby's dyslexia and lack of car transportation I have NFI.
It seems like an impossibility but there must be a way or something for him.

Hmm, something for researching in the New Year.
Maybe.

Get behind our Victorian nurses!

2011-11-29T23:49:00.000+11:00

I was going to waffle on about the hiccup we had yesterday with Feral Aspie - bullying at school, didn't speak to the teacher, couldn't go swimming due to the chopping of the ingrown toe nail, so the anger boiled up and over and boy, did we get splashed with the fall out.
I digress.

So, I've had a bug up my backside since the news broke that the Vic State Govt wants to not only increase nurses workload but that they seem to think PCAs can fill in and do the same job.
Plus increase the nurse : patient ratio that is currently 1 nurse to 4 patients
Because nurses need to increase their productivity.
So they reckon.
Ahuh.

Let's put this in basic terms...so basic that possibly even the dimwits in parliament may understand.
IF they ever actually think.

We have a growing population.
We need to keep pace with that growing population with all types of infrastructure that make up civilisation.
We need to increase the hospitals, hospital services and hospital staff to address the increasing needs of that growing population.
We need to INCREASE the pay of nurses to reflect the hard slog they do shift in, shift out, every week, keeping people alive, mending, healthy and well.
We need to DECREASE their workload because they are the frontline in the defence of people's health, they are the ones who detect any abnormalities, any changes, any complications; they need to have less stress and workload to NOT miss vital clues to a patients state of health.
In this day and age while there is an economic crisis everywhere you look but bigwigs keep awarding themselves pay rises for polishing chairs in the board room, it is indecent that nurses have to keep busting their balls (and many nurses, even females, have bloody big balls) to beg for the workplace ratios and pay to not only retain their workforce but to keep us general public alive in their care.

Victorian Police get my vote

2011-11-28T13:06:00.000+11:00

In light of the recent criticisms of the Victorian Police for their lack of training in dealing with mentally ill people I felt they got a bit of a raw deal.

The many times we have had to call them out to assist with Feral Aspie they have been absolutely superb with immediate help, suggestions, calls to specialsts and hospitals; there was only 1 individual I disagreed with (and followed it up with a phone call to her the next day, sorted it because she was willing to listen) but that was through the misunderstanding Autism/Aspergers/ABI brings with the fluctuating behaviours not fitting into a strict mental health mould.

How often do you think the police escort a person to the nearest public hospital emergency room to get treatment for suicidal/unacceptable behaviours only to watch the person refuse admission/get told to see their private doctor/come back when there's an R in the month and waltz back onto the street - still in an unstable mental status - while the police are still filling in the paperwork for the call-out in the first place?
It happens very, very often.....

The system is not rigged to work for mental health patients; it is for regular, garden variety illnesses and, over the years, the mental health system (with patients, staff and differing problems/laws galore) has been forced to fit in alongside the over-stretched general health model, and now most times inside the over-stretched general health hospitals seeing as public specialist mental health hospitals got flogged off to the highest bidder *ahem*

And, let's be honest here, folks, it's not like the police are likely to be called to attend an afternoon soiree with a mentally ill person, to pass buttered finger buns and sip tea from bone china cups.
No, they usually get called out to help someone who has been let down by the garden variety health system; someone in mental distress who has become out of control for one reason or another.

This is what they are confronted with - the end result of a broken system.
I know I certainly couldn't do their job.
Could you?

Invisible disabilities

2011-11-22T19:43:00.000+11:00

I'm tired of people dismissing the 'hidden' disabilities.
I don't mean just those who don't realise a disability is present, I'm talking about those Joe Blows on the street who think they have the right to query a diagnosis.
Because, dontchaknow, they've scrubbed public toilets for years (and sandblasted god-knows-what off the toilet seats) and they KNOW about medical stuffs!

My darling Feral Aspie already has depression, on top of his other 'invisible' disabilities like autism, Aspergers, Tourettes, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, etc, without stupid strangers making him feel responsible for his behaviours.
We often get ignorant comments like "He doesn't seem that autistic," or "He seems fine to me," and even "Are you sure?".
So many times I've wanted to retort,
"Y'know, we're not sure. We have no fecking idea cos you know how all those medical specialists are, just making stuff up off the top of their heads like that every day,"
*insert wild eyeball rolling and disgusted throat noises*

And the same goes for mental illnesses.
I've had the comment of "You seem too happy to be depressed."
I've wondered if they were waiting for me to open a vein for their entertainment...you know,
"Pass the hors d' oeuvres, there'll be a blood splatter pattern on the carpet any minute..."

I've nursed hospitalised teens in the grip of a drug-induced psychosis' where parents continued to supply them with illegal drugs because "He doesn't seem that bad,".
"No, that's due to the fact he's in a freakin' hospital, under medical care where we don't administer the illegal drugs that caused the problem in the first freakin' place..."

It's one thing for a schizophrenic to feel better once medicated then think they're 'cured' and no longer need medication but when idiots question the illness they compound the pressure that person is under and, subtly, infer that the person is a liar.
One gorgeous gal I nursed was often questioned about her schizophrenia by strangers and even family members, with her parents refusing to believe she had a mental illness because,
"Who else is going to look after us in our old age?"
30 years after her initial diagnosis her tea-total father claimed it was the single snifter of sherry she had after tea each night that caused her 'problems'.
Who knew sherry was so evil?!

We need to stop this immediate distrust when someone confides their diagnosis and accept it.
Hopefully the International Day of People with a Disability will get through to some people and stop this discrimination.
Check out Rudely Interrupted, the rock band headlining Queabeyan's Festival of Ability on December 1.
Festival of Ability.

I shall frame this day in gold

2011-11-20T17:46:00.000+11:00

Have had such a HUGELY fun day with my Feral Aspie Beastie, it's been one THE best days in a looooong time!
He wanted to explore the local Sunday market so we had to unearth one of Dad's old wheelchairs as he's strictly not allowed to weight-bear on his toe/foot.
It was a case of the blind leading the blind (almost literally) as he had to verbally direct me as I pushed him along.
It made for interesting conversation as I rediscovered muscles I haven't used for awhile!

We trundled along under the Warrigal Rd overpass - where gazillions of wild pigeons nest with their squillions of squabs - just as a car full of 20-something yr old females drove past Feral Aspie was heard to exclaim,
"Check out mah ride, chicks!"
I refrained from asking which chicks in particular he was referring to!

The thing with the Feral Aspie teen is that he is the size of an adult, he looks like an adult and while he may have 5 uni subjects under his belt he still loves things like Ben 10, Transformers, Hot Wheels, Lego, etc.
Which means that when he hangs around the toy section in the supermarket or checks out the toys at the Sunday market people think he's weird in the former, a collector in the latter and try to charge him more, so I took great pleasure in pushing him over to the kids section today and letting him have his fun by checking out all the toys at his leisure without worrying about funny looks.
Cos the wheelchair is visable whereas the Autism isn't.

He has laughed and giggled today, due to me playing silly buggers, he's been so happy and relaxed, chatting and joking with me.
It's been a golden day :)

Things I know

2011-11-19T11:56:00.001+11:00

Today is Sans Pants & Bra Saturday!!
Which I shamelessy pinched from both Kelley and Shae.
Following on from Sans Pants & Bra Friday Evening.
Woop, woop.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know TMI.
Get over it, I did *snort*

The Feral Aspie is distracting himself from the thunder - which isn't actually thunder but the construction of another multi-storey apartment building nearby but sounds like some Greek Goddess is chucking a tanty over the top of the house - and is relaxing by blowing up zombies and skeletons.
Apologies to the Accidental Insect Pornographer, Kim, despite your high Klout level in Zombies when the zombie apocolypse starts I'll be hiding behind him!

The things I know are that my gorgeous boy is needing time out from mainstream school and this toenail was a blessing.
That I hesitated signing off to not register to homeschool again next year (you have to register each year in Victoria).
That maybe I'll register again just in case and look to part-time homeschooling/mainstream schooling for taking the pressure off.
That things got so bad a few weeks back that my beautiful, clever Aspie told me he was considering suicide.
And that he'd thought of different ways to do it.
That I watch him like a hawk, surreptitiously, and worry each time he walks out the door to go to school.
That the TV show Glee the other night proved my point when Santana was called out on her bullying, that she was feeling so miserable inside and was trying to make others feel the same misery.
That there is a horrible epidemic amongst our gorgeous kids that are making them so angry and unfullfilled with themselves that they are destroying each other just to survive.
That the mental health system sucks hairy dogs' balls.
That I have my splendid, happy boy right at this moment in time and that makes everything right in the world.

Barefoot Beastie

2011-11-18T14:30:00.001+11:00

I have the Feral Aspie teen at home for a few days as he has had part of his toenail permanently removed by a scalpel-wielding GP.
Thank Gawd!!!
Him being grumpy and irritable snapping "I dunno" when asked what the problem is makes for egg-shell walking at home.
Because he doesn't connect the pain in his foot with his irritable mood, being completely at odds with his emotions.

It's given him some breathing space from school, too, where he can relax and unwind, getting his head into a happier headspace before going back and managing the exams.
Which are causing all kinds of anxiety, no matter how much we reassure him.

I'm thinking the half-days he used to have as a youngster at primary school might be on our horizon, again.
With the increased heat, longer days and general angst with end of year exams, etc, I can see us bringing home a lot of his schoolwork to tackle it at home in the afternoons.
I may need to chat to the principal about part-time school and part-time homeschooling, to give Feral Aspie Beastie some time out and an escape from the bullies.
We'll see!

Some of The Secret Language explained

2011-11-04T12:23:00.000+11:00

Ahhhh.
That's the sound of a deep, contented sigh.
My darling Feral Aspie geeky teen is getting some help through the school and is happy to discuss his issues.
Well, they are other kids' issues who have seen fit to make them Feral Aspie teen's issues but they are being dealt with.

We've done the usual "ignore them/ walk away/ don't speak back to them" speech for years.
And it is so much easier to say when you're not the person dealing with the angst, anxiety and fury at being the centre of someone else's bullying.
So, after another incident I sat him down and explained about "the secret language".

This is something you and I (and probably the Man in the Moon) know about instinctively.
But teens (mostly of the male variety) and those with difficulties reading social behaviours don't 'get it'.

I explained that someone teasing/bullying him is handing power over themselves to the victim.
When the victim ignores them, the bully ends up with egg on their face, looking like an idiot in front of friends.
And no feedback from the victim to continue the teasing.

But the moment the victim responds to the bullying they are handing the power back to the bully, feeding the monster with attention and giving them ammunition to continue.

When an older student gave them a mouthful of abuse as he walked past the other day, Feral teen and a friend automatically responded in kind.
In hindsight he understood how this inflamed the situation into shocking volumes.
I explained him to think of the Mountain Gorilla, sitting up banging his chest and grunting out a challenge to other males.
This is how this student (and most male teens) behave.
The moment people respond in kind it is the equivilent of the second male gorilla meeting the challenge and agreeing to a physical fight.

Feral Aspie teen understood immediately when I put "the secret language" into similies that he knew.
And, I think, he is finally understanding the intelligence behind the oft-repeated "ignore them/walk away" instructions as not a means to let the bully off but to keep the power in his own hands (and himself safe).

And now he's off at the GP getting his ingrown toenail - also known as the underlying bane of our existence - seen to.

So, I shall be waving my not-so-magic wand and disappearing myself into the backyard!

Don't ever let yourself get painted beige by bullies

2011-10-31T13:46:00.001+11:00

Good grief, I turn around and another month flies past without me posting over here!
To be honest, we've had some great ups and some very dark downs with the Feral Aspie teen.

He loves school, wants to go all the time and really puts his all into his work.
The teachers have no complaints with him and he gets along really well with those in Years 10, 11 and 12.
If he could go to school and just learn, everything would be prefect.

Unfortunately there is a plethora of personalities and types at school; some of them are so uncomfortable in their own skin and have no confidence to let their spirits soar and shine that they bully others who are anything other than average.
You know, paint yourself beige to blend in and don't be too clever or too knowledgable or achieve good marks or do anything that might make you stand out.

So, couple this with Feral Aspie teen who is a walking, talking encyclopedia, who has completed 5 university units and, while he forgets to use shampoo on his hair whilst under the shower, he can recall Every.Little.Detail about arguments/discussions/lessons/events/docos so much so that he spits them back out verbatim.

Which doesn't help him paint himself beige.
And nor does he want to become beige.
He is who he is; his spirit will soar and shine and he will achieve whatever he hell he wants, despite the measly little creatures who have anchored their souls to the floor of the budgie cage and are too scared to unchain their potential to fly free.

Of course, we have glorious, wonderful Dunolly to restore his happy.
We now own a caravan at the caravan park, a little home away from home which Feral Aspie teen finds is just perfect for him.
Instead of him going on the school camp where he won't get a break for 5 days from any niggles or bullying or even mild, joking teasing (which could easily turn into a fully flamed argument) we've offered to take him to spend that week at Dunolly.
Which he jumped at, of course.

Go read a great post on the troubles with bullies by Madam Bipolar.
Yes, bullying has been around for a long time and only recently have schools really started to take it seriously because of the long-term consequences....except those very same long-term consequences were there all along.
We look towards the future of our fragile youth who are bullied but don't forget to take a peep back over our shoulders at those who are still struggling with those consequences.

Confessions of a bored blogger

2011-09-20T15:32:00.000+10:00

I have a confession to make.
I haven't blogged here for ages cos I found life...everything... boring.
Same old, same old; monumental meltdowns coupled with calls to emergency services, smashed up house, asking for help...and stress.
Oh, yes, that added extra every parent needs.
That was sarcasm dripping on the keyboard if you didn't notice.

If I found the whole thing as stimulating as watching bat shit dry, what could I offer you to read...the back of a cereal packet?

My gorgeous Feral Aspie teen has started back at mainstream school.
Thereby hangs a tale of mystery.
Through a series of events/circumstances/comments/attitudes, etc, he did not start at his school until AFTER the bully (who nearly caused him to have a complete breakdown in primary school) was EXPELLED from the very same school.
My Dad was looking after his beloved grandson.
This child of mine has laughed at ribbing earning grudging respect...he has come back with funny responses when someone has given him lip....he has been polite, well-mannered with his teachers....he has corrected smartarses who tried to prove him wrong in front of teachers (who backed him up), yesterday he braved name-calling on the bus to liberate some terracotta pots from hard rubbish for me.

Then this morning we got a call to tell us how much he is liked at school.
How much his teachers like him and like having him in their classes.
How impressed they are with his academic work.
How much the other kids like him.
How some have dubbed him "the coolest dude".

Our lives changed with his diagnosis at age 2, it changed again when he faced so many challenges at the start of school, then our existence changed again when the bullying got out of control for which I began homeschooling him.
Again our lives changed following his head injury and his behavioural change.
After 4 years of homeschooling he was ready to return to mainstream school and, through serendipity (his Pa watching over him) we found him the right school that was the right fit, with small classes, at the right time.

The sun is shining despite the pouring rain outside my window.
Our life has changed again after the phone call this morning.
My boys beautiful nature is having a chance to shine through once more.

Hey, honey, I'm hoooooooooooome!

2011-09-18T20:45:00.000+10:00

So....
It's been awhile!
Gawd, looked at the last date on here and it's almost 2 months since I posted.

Haven't redecorated as yet....not for want of bits and bobs, although the hard rubbish drive was sadly disappointing this year as the recycling was done in the wee hours by people quieter than church mice (and if you've ever sat in a pew listening hard for church mice over the organ....you'll know how quiet those little critters really are).

Yeah, I have the oddest of thoughts skipping through my grey matter at times.
Along with the random hymn.
And redecorating plans.

We still have holes in the walls - with the warm weather coming on I'll probably procrastinate for some more months that it's extra air-con *rolls eyes at self* - although I'm toying with the idea of turning them into recessed shelving.
Yeah, yeah, doesn't every toilets need recessed shelving?
For the outdated Phantom comic books?

And in other news the Aspie geek teen is back in mainstream school.
Woohoo.
6 weeks to date.
It's been a blessing; he was ready to return to the school system, we found a nearby state school that caters to kids with learning difficulties (particularly Autism), they have smaller-than-usual class sizes/school population and so far it's a really good fit.

And I get a whole 7 hours to myself!
That is....if I can convince the spouse to bugger off outside to rediscover himself in the garden *snort*

Redecorating via The Spectrum

2011-07-21T00:14:00.000+10:00

Oh look!
It's 2 minutes past the witching hour and moi is still awake!

"Midnight, one more night without sleepin'
Watchin', till the morning comes creepin'
Green door, what's that secret you're keepin'?"

C'mon, you know the words!
If old age has poked holes in your grey matter you can cheat and slip over here and do a quick refresher.
You're welcome for the ear-worm *insert wicked laughter*

Meanwhile....things are somewhat quieter here, that could be that Feral Aspie Teen has taken onboard tools to help him connect with his emotions (something that most Auties/Aspies have difficulty with).
Or he's just run out of plaster walls to batter.
Or his parents singing operas of Prisoner (the tv series) has traumatised the poor possum into silence *snort*

We're thinking outside the square to repair the walls....was going to go with wood panelling (Helloooooo, mid-1970s style!) but I'm thinking more corrugated iron....decorated steel mesh....stainless steel....industrial look....
Annnnd then we have the hard rubbish drive happening in the next month or so around these parts...
Whaaaaa?
I'm just sayin'.
Recycling...reusing....saving moolah....saving those poor hard rubbish collectors from injuring their backs....

Why they are NOT hacking my phone messages....

2011-07-13T14:10:00.000+10:00

...apart from the fact that I am neither a celebrity or a victim of crime.
I'll give you a sample of my messages and you can probably figure the reason out for yourselves.

"Hello, Mrs XXX, this is the disability services, we've put you on the waiting list but we can't say how long you'll have to wait, we have yet to employ enough workers to cover the children we deal with now."

"This is Thingo from Such and Such school. Sorry, but your son doesn't qualify for our school setting, you'll have to look at mainstream high schools."

"Hi, this is Blah Blah from Private Specialist Practice and we've put you on the waiting list to see Specialist which will give you an appointment sometime in 2014 but don't worry if someone dies we'll push you forward."

"Hi, just returning your call re enrolling your son in our Autistic Specialist School; it seems his language isn't enough below par to qualify for our education setting. Maybe mainstream or a private school?"

"Hello. This is Crappity Crappity from the head injuries place. Just letting you know there's a 19 week waiting period for assessments."

"Hello, Mrs XXX, I've taken your details about your son and those responsible will get back to you about enrolling him at our school although you might have to look at other schools with integration streams closer to home or think about a private school."

"Hi! This is Sunshine Sally! I'm ringing to let you know that if you pay a minimum of several thousand dollars we can possibly fit your son in next Winter. Have a nice day! Byeeee!"

"Hi, just to let you know there's a lengthy waiting list to be enrolled at our school, I'd suggest you look into mainstream or private schools instead."

"Hello, this is Oblivious Clothead ringing to tell you that you missed out on funding due to the paperwork being filed under F for Forget on my desk and missing the financial year deadline. Maybe you'd better think about reapplying in another 12 months."

"Hi hon, this is your husband. Just to let you know I've been offered a few thousand dollars for my kidney but I could get several tens of thousands if I donate my spleen. Let me know what you think. They've promised I can wake up in a bath full of ice with no clothes and the possible bonus of an internal infection. Good, huh?!"

Hopes raised (again) but in a good way

2011-06-26T22:45:00.000+10:00

The day arrived when the feral Aspie teen was sectioned (again) by the police and (Finally!!!) admitted to the adolescent psych unit.
C'mon, let's hear it....
About F'kn Time!

Yes, he'd lost the plot (again) and bashed us up (again) and we called the police (again) and thankfully one of the 4 who barrelled through the door in flak jackets with their capsicum spray at the ready (again) was a regular visitor while another had been here and had sectioned him on the other ocassion.

Gotta love the police when they can stand there and (later, after Aspie teen had calmed down) comment on how much the lad has grown since this policeman last eyeballed him *snort*

He's happy, he's settled, he's getting help, he's having to face up to a lot of things we've tried to help him with but he brushed off our suggestions (strangely they're the same things being suggested by the staff, lol always someone else), he's getting eyeballed and listened to and supervised and observed.

I'm just hoping that now he's got his toe inside the heavily-guarded hosp unit he (and we) can get on-going support for when he comes home.
But now, we take it one day at a time and thank the Gummy Mary there was a bed available for him when we desperately needed it.

Have a nap...or ten...

2011-06-20T20:19:00.000+10:00

What a wild and woolly day it's been in Melbourne!
And under this roof, albeit for a short moment in the blip of the universe.
Aspie teen fell alseep after breakfast then after lunch, for no rhyme or reason, the grunting and punching started while he lay on the floor in front of us sitting on the couch so we studiously ignored him and passed insightful remarks about the TV show....
"That dress looks OW! quite nice on *gasp* her,"
"Yeah, she should OUCH! wear that OW! colour Ah ah ah ah! more AHHHHHH! often,"
"Did you grrrrrrrr! want another cup of Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! tea?"
"Thanks, but I'll OW! get it ouch!"

Needless to say our feet and shins are enormously grateful he was able to be talked down back into reality after briefly falling asleep.
Again.
Then he et a big tea...or rather he got me to feed him his meal (don't ask, it's a recent thing) then watched a bit of telly and promptly fell asleep.
Again.
Wish I could get to sleep as easily as he does....

A shower is not a conspiracy...really....

2011-06-19T22:28:00.000+10:00

So, we're still alive.
We are black, blue, purple and brindle but we are still breathing.
Or so it's rumoured.
Staying on the quiet, keeping things even...steady....calm....
Sorta like holding back the waves of the ocean with your bare hands.
Yeah, and just as successful *snort*
-------------------------
Aspie teen has it set in his head that when he has a shower it HAS to be right before he goes to bed.
Not before and certainly not in any morning.
Unless he's got something on....then it takes days to get him psyched into an unscheduled shower.
So, tonight, we managed to talk him into having a hot, soothing shower to ease his aching muscles post-footy match in just 3 hours and without a major hiccup.
Mini meltdown that involved enough heavy breathing and wall-knocking stims that would make any Poltergeist happy certainly but it barely rated an "oh, crap, not again " in light of recent events so we won't log that one.
Gave him a thorough back rub after the shower with the good old Deep Heat, then he was shocked at how much better his back felt and how much more easily he was able to move.
Yeah, we got vindicated, baby!!!!
Parents don't talk through a hole in their heads, woot!

Ridin' along on my pushbike....

2011-05-24T21:47:00.000+10:00

A new diversion has finally arrived - the tandem trike!
It's been a few months in the making and travelled from QLD but now it's here and the grin on Aspie teen's face is like the Cheshire Cat.
He's been around the block a few times to practice with his Dad as the balance of the whole thing works that the forward rider leans one way while the back rider leans the other - roundabouts are fun *snort*.
Hope to have photos to share soon and hope this brings out my gorgeous boys inner happiness more.

Not drowning, dog paddling

2011-05-19T12:28:00.000+10:00

We're going two steps forward and 1 step back; how do you explain grief and the turmoil of emotions of losing a loved one to an ASD teen who is almost completely disconnected from his own emotions and cannot identify how he feels at any particular time of the day?
Yep, fun and games!

The anger and fury is foremost, of course, but we have managed to get him to the stage of actually saying that he doesn't know why he is angry and hurting others.
This gives us the chance to explain to him about grief and the various stages; we've assured him he is perfectly normal in feeling the way he does but he needs to manage his feelings in a different manner.

We have the anger management poster and workbook from this site - they have some fabulous resources - which we've had for some time and is successful in helping him identify how his different emotions snowball into anger but he is still unable to readily identify how he actually feels.
Unless we talk him through it judging from the visual clues....like clenched teeth, clenched fists, frowns, snappy speech yet he can swear up and down that he's in a good mood/having a good time/calm...everything that is opposite to the physical features.

This is where he has a great deal of trouble in identifying something that has upset him from earlier in the day or the previous day when it's been able to fester in the back of his mind, colouring his thoughts on everything else in a bitter pall rather than seperate the one issue that irritated him and discuss it/ think it over, etc.

So, he sits there and worries that he isn't showing any grief at his Pa's passing while we are reassuring him that, yes, he most certainly is and pointing out the connections between his behaviour and emotions.
Which we will be enforcing with a suggesion from a friend - taking photos of him in different moods and helping him identify how he feels by getting him to look at the photos and change them on the cork board as his emotions fluctuate throughout the day and then helping him identify the triggers which have caused the change in his emotions - IE a good time at footy training made him happy, not understanding a maths equation made him frustrated, not catching the ball at cricket made him angry with himself, etc.

This is another good one for suggestions, tips, a brief run-down for friends, family members or teachers on managing emotional regulation and anxiety for kids on the Spectrum.
And of course on top of everything is the fear - his beloved paediatrician is retiring at the end of the year, the disability worker has resigned and we (assume) he'll have to start over over with a new worker, a couple of others on the footy team have radically changed in temperament which has disturbed more than just Aspie teen, and he's trying to work through his grief for his Pa.

Shapewear stops stomachs from exploding

2011-05-10T13:31:00.000+10:00

I had a caesarian when I pupped Feral Aspie teen, leaving a delightfully long smiley face stretching from hip to hip with swathes of skin above the line permanently numb from severed nerves.
While below the line they can still try to wax and I hit high notes dogs 20 miles away can clearly hear.
Also above the smiley line is a monster stretch-mark approx. 7 cms wide (or 2 x George Calombaris' chubby fingers width) which is mostly numb.

So, I cuddled up with the hot water bottle Friday night, fell asleep and woke up, did the usual shower thing, thought I'd added some more lumps and bumps to the lumpy, bumpy roadmap surface of myself and thought no more of it until that night when I was getting into the Wonder Woman pjs (yes, yes, I'll get a photo of them one day) when the Spouse took one look at my tummy and freaking out screeched,
"Holy crap, what's that poking out of your stomach?"
I suddenly saw myself as Ripley giving birth to gut-busting alien critters.
It was a LARGE blister, which I could feel with my fingers, couldn't feel on my tummy and needed a mirror to actually eyeball.
Not my intestines popping out through a hernia, thankfully, as I wasn't quite ready to give Aspie teen a full-technicolour 3D presentation of the small and large intestines, complete with sigmoid colon.

The blister finally burst in a tidal wave of yellow oozing muck - I flicked it with the edge of the towel yesterday and didn't realise it was gone til I felt ~~alien babies rampaging all over the house~~ sticky muck.
So, cos it's continuing to ooze, despite the liberal amounts of hydrogen peroxide, I'm strangling myself in shapewear to squish it all back into place to stop the skin from stretching any further and to allow it to heal.
Just as an added precaution to stop any possible innards exploding outwards...

Day 1 of the Triffid Takeover of Mah Brain

2011-05-06T10:45:00.000+10:00

Well, apparently I'm supposed to be feeling a tad nauseous on the new happy pills.
I was supposed to start off on half tablets due to the nausea side effects but, me being the stingy old cow that I am, I went for the cheaper version which is almost impossible to snap in half unless you have thumb nails of STEEL, baby!
So, I figured if I was gonna have my head down the S bend for half a tab I may as well go the effort for a full one.
Touch wood, fingers crossed so far no chundering on the horizon.
I don't expect to get my happy on straight away as it takes time to build up but I am pleased there's no spewy happening.
Although I've just noticed a slight metallic taste in my mouth...hmmm, may need to sort that with some morning tea.
-----------------------
As for going postal....
There's a few incidents that have been let go through to the keeper of late - cos we've been a little busy with stuffs - but I've been on the warpath and have gone a little postal on some arses.

First up is the local Woolworths store where an assistant in the liquor store accused Aspie teen of stealing a half empty bottle of cola he was currently necking after he took ONE step into the store with his father then stepped back out of the store.
Second, same store earlier this week apparently a toy rep was having a shitty day so took it out on Aspie teen who was poking the siren buttons on some Matchbox trucks (in OPEN packaging to encourage kids to poke the siren buttons, I might add) and roared at him,
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
When he told me this last one this morning I explained that next time someone asks him such an obviously stupid bloody question to tell them his mother said to say he was knitting a damn jumper and what colour did they want theirs in.
Mamma Bear then trotted over, switched on the computer and got some phone numbers to lodge complaints - a HUGE apology from the store manager who is following it up with the liquor assistant and the toy rep. company

Also, waiting for a call back from someone else.
Which is all I'll say at this juncture as it's probably going to get really ugly, judging by past UNprofessional behaviour.

Now, some sauteed field mushrooms and tomatoes on toast for morning tea sounds perfect!

Shovelling shit...again

2011-05-05T11:14:00.000+10:00

Well, where do I start?
Start at the beginning and go until you reach the end, said the white rabbit to Alice...or some bizarre anthropomorphized critter.
So, crap just keeps on piling up and I just keep on shovelling it away but it gets a little freakin exhausting, ya know?

Dad died.
So the grief has given the Aspie teen full reign to smash the house, and us, to smithereens - yes, we did have a few intact walls and holes had been repaired but... no more.
We won't mention the extensive bruises or hanks of hair ripped from my skull or the love affair The Spouse and I are conducting with super strength pain relief tablets.
Oops, seems I did mention it...never mind, just move along, nothing to see folks, just another recurring train wreck.
*sigh*

We have no toilet door as he kicked a great hole in it which we replaced with a curtain which he has now ripped down while punching a massive hole in the plaster wall of the loo.
I can recommend this for BRACING fresh WINTER air, particularly in the smelliest room in the house after a male teen has perched on the throne for ever and a day but... it's just a tad drastic.
Try opening a window, way easier.

He managed to rip open the PADLOCKED shed door...yes, it was fully secured with BOLT and PADLOCK...but he merely wrenched it open without batting an eyelid and grabbed the steel hammers one of which he managed to throw through the (weakened from much smashing of aforementioned hammer) flywire on the security door and it smashed into the back of my hand.
Fortunately....as it would have hit me fair square in the chest otherwise.
Quietly thanking my poor, battered right hand for being in the way.

When he came into the house armed with the shovel all I could think,
"Well, he's really gonna make us dig our own holes before he buries us in the vegie patch...I could have sworn we had plenty of fertiliser without the need to do us in."
Yes, bizarre thoughts trot gaily through the space optimistically called my mind.
Mind?
What the heck is that, again?
I think I lost it somewhere around the 7th useless specialist we saw...

I snapped the head off a smart mouthed receptionist who told me I couldn't get in to see my lovely lady gp until next Monday.
Somehow I managed to refrain from telling her I would probably have done something drastic well before then and not to bother but when I asked if it was possible to get in to see ANY of the doctors I think she realised I wasn't asking just to hear the sound of my own voice...that I might actually have a genuine need to see someone-anyone-please-even-if-it's-the-freaking-witch-doctor-who-can't-speak-freaking-English-they-keep-out-the-back-in-case-of-emergencies.

You know, it's probably a good idea to go see a doctor when the valium doesn't make a dint.
When the meditation doesn't help, when you flinch and tense up each time your own child thumps into a room.
Cos he thumps mostly whenever he walks so it's hard to tell beforehand if he's tired, upset or about to unleash a total nuclear meltdown on humanity.
Us being the first line in defence of humanity...although, strangely, we're not on the ADF payroll.
Wonder who I speak to about that...?

Some doctors are horrified at the types and amount of medication he is on.
I'm simply horrified that the fucking things don't make any difference some days.
And, while I'm on a ranty roll, let me tell you I'm pretty fucking miffed some specialists think it's ok we get to 'manage' a disabled, brain damaged super-strong person in full psychotic flight 24/7 with NO FREAKING FUNDING WHATSOEVER yet some are aghast that parents can homeschool without 'proving' themselves on a weekly basis.
Seriously?
I mean....WTF, are you freaking SERIOUS!?
Let this kid loose in a temper in Afghanistan and he'll clean up the freakin Taliban bastards in no time.
But God freaking forbid he hasn't been made to sit down in a classroom to have 'real' schooling.

Um, yeah.
Thank fluck I got in to see my lovely lady gp.
Now, where did I put the shit shovel......

The 'precious' and inflexible cow doth moo once more

2011-04-16T23:30:00.000+10:00

I'm over the previous crap.
Well, that's not true; you don't get over someone dismissing your child's difficulties, invalidating and disrespecting what they're going through, that whole rude intolerance thing some people have going on.
Like the troglodytes who claimed myself and gazillions of others were idiots, morons, insert-any-name-here...calling the victims or the carers of the victims 'precious' and inflexible.
Hmmm, I'm pretty certain that's called bullying.
------------------
So, I'm being all 'precious' and inflexible with this dying father thing.
It's not something I'd recommend for a school holiday activity...although you could always coax the kiddies into cleaning grandpa's dentures by telling them the tooth fairy will give them a bonus payment next time the thug two doors down the street knocks out a molar in a 'friendly' game of footy.

Sure, they'll squirm and squeal but just offer the ultimatum for them to clean the other end of Grandpa instead and in no time at all those pearly whites will be glistening.

You could start teaching them manual lifting techniques; there's no telling when they may need to lift Daddy/Grandma/Great Aunt Maud or Fluffy the Warthog up off the floor following a heavy night of celebrating.
Plus it also covers physical activity, is considered a weight lifting exercise meaning you can look the teacher firmly in the eye next term and claim you had the little dears working out like sweaty Russian midgets in a Siberian saltmine.

And earn admiring kudos from the PTA clique; you know those perfumed peroxided chicks will be grinding their oh-so-expensively capped teeth and stamping their Diana Ferrari shod tootsies in frustration.
Score!

And, finally, your kids get to have a close up look at Death.
Death is not pretty; sometimes Death is peaceful, occasionally it is quiet, most times there is pain/discomfort/moaning, groaning agony from the dying person who's body is ceasing to function.

Your kids get the pleasure of watching pressure areas form, they get to learn that emollient creams slapped on with gay abandon might help prevent some wounds but it won't stop all wounds/blisters developing without constant repositioning/hygiene care/pressure area care.

They can learn about peripheral shutdown - when their beloved family member turns into an extra from the Smurf movie.

No longer will they call you senile when faced with the real deal as Great Uncle Max tries to take a leak on the award winning patchwork quilt hanging on the wall...or when Grandma runs nekkid through the street while screeching "I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Try explaining to the kids there is no reboot or system restore on the dying person, no software update to correct the design flaw, no hardware spare part to replace, no bigger, better, newer version to rush out and buy.
Phones, computers, iPods, houses....material possessions are all replaceable.
People are not.
Your kids will take a most valuable lesson away with them these school holidays.
And should they whine even just once, get all 'precious' and inflexible with their pocket money.

So, swearing rant in milder format to not piss off the precious poppets

2011-04-08T05:53:00.000+10:00

Ok, I've untwisted my fucking knickers and figure I should be a bit more fucking politically correct about this whole fucking Aspergers are "fucked up" business.
So I've removed the fucking post - just in case I might accidentally fucking offend some fucking precious right-to-free-fucking-speech wanker who whinges that "it's just a joke" but who would, oddly, turn a pasty shade of green were his nuts to be put in a fucking vice while we chanted "it's just a joke" - and, of course, I'd never live with myself should I upset the fucking 'comedian' in question.
Cos you don't wanna fuck them off.
Apparently.

Although word on the street is that an Aspie -sorry, must remember the correct diagnosis, brought to us by a fully-qualified fucking comedian - a fucked up person has a hell of a temper and should be treated with a little more fucking respect.
Y'know, the same sort of fucking respect those screechy lil biatches demand at the top of their whiny little lungs in the shops when they've been too fucking stupid to realise they've walked in front of some bimbo (moi) with a white cane or that idiot (hubby) pushing a fucking eleventy tonne wheelchair (which ran over their fucking toes with the most satisfying speed hump-ish squishy feeling but we do not want to encourage wheelchair rage so, kids, please don't run over the fuckwits....let Mother Nature take care of them for us) because fucking everyone must look out for THEM.

They suffer from the disability of Brain-Dead-Fuck-Knuckle-itis.
People, I put before you the real "Fucked up" population.
Although 'itis' usually indicates inflammation or infection of a particular body part, in reality they're simply inflamming the bowels of a bajillion sane, commonsense people which results in giving us the shits.

Make 'em laugh and dodge the muck

2011-04-04T12:18:00.000+10:00

The Aspie teen has, as I type, completed his English work for the day and is getting himself some culture (more than his usual serving from a tub of yoghurt *boom tish* ) and is watching the 1952 film version of The Importance of being Earnest.

He loves these older Brit comedic films; there's a style, a particular fashion in their making that seems to appeal to him and his sense of humour while offering no threats or anxieties.
And he needs a bit of humour in his life at the moment.

Dad has yet another chest infection and several new medications.
Hubby put the prescriptions into the chemist and stupidly assumed they'd been all filled and started following the new medication regime.
Dad is on a bajillion tablets at eleventy thousand times each day - before meals, after meals, with meals, between meals - not to mention the 4 hourly nebulisers, puffers and pain relief.
He has 10 different meds at brekkie alone - some before, some after, some with his food - all which have to be broken into tiny pieces for him to swallow which takes at least 5 tiny bird-like sips of fluid before he can get the message to his gag reflex to work.
Then, this weekend he has started on thickened fluids as he is unable to swallow without choking on fluids now.
Hubby double checked and found they hadn't filled the antibiotics - when he went back they said they didn't have them in stock, that we'd have to wait until Monday.

Dad has started going downhill mentally, refusing to eat and drink, doing silly things like emptying his hot water bottle into the waste paper basket by his chair or throwing his bedlinen onto the floor and tossing his water onto it , refusing to stand/walk, etc.
And of course he's doubly incontinent - I won't share the details but suffice to say Aspie teen freaks out and seeks respite in the backyard or up a tree while we deal with the filth.
We have tried to feed Dad, encouraged him to drink and he refuses, closing his mouth, calling us names, lashing out with his fists and feet.
You gotta respect a bloke with feet as blue as a Smurf who can manage to do that.

So, we're indulging in Fox Classics comedies like On The Buses, 'Allo 'Allo, Are You Being Served?, and the odd genuine film, classic like today's The Importance of being Earnest.

World Autism Awareness Day in Melbourne 2011

2011-04-02T15:54:00.000+11:00

So.
I'm sitting here after the march organised by Autism Victoria to celebrate and highlight World Autism Awareness Day, happy that the meds have kicked in for the back pain (kicking myself for not remembering to take extras for the march but I survived and made it to the end) and thinking back over this marvellous day there are a few things that spring to mind.
1. Autism Victoria do a fucking great job.
2.Thank you to the police who were out in force making sure we all crossed the roads safely (and who even tied a balloon to their car aerial).
3. There were a shedload more people this year than last - easily 2 or three times as many - which added to everyone's feeling of camaraderie, smiles all around, strangers talking openly with each other like long lost friends, a real communal feeling of pride in the support of numbers.
4.Well done and a big pat on the back to Beachcomber Cafe for sponsoring the sausage sizzle.

The Autism Awareness Day march is not like the usual street march...it is nothing like a protest rally - there is no yelling or chanting - nor is it like the ANZAC Day march - there are no pipe/brass bands, no banners, no aeroplane fly overs...it is an oh-so-quiet walk of families simply chatting to each other, holding multicoloured biodegradable helium balloons on biodegradable strings enjoying the walk that is a grass roots almost-silent support of each other on a path many would turn tail and run from if they ever had a choice.
We stood shoulder to shoulder, listened and applauded the speakers , both political animals and those of the norm, then we got the count down for the magical moment; to release our balloons en masse.

Released!

Going...

Going....

Almost gone...

Hello everyone

2011-04-01T13:14:00.004+11:00

Hi,
my name is Aspie Teen Geek, I am 14, I have autism and Ro is my mum, I will be writing from my point of view of my life.

My likes are transformers (especially the toys), I like reading, science, biology, history, computer and video games, and the natural world.

My dislikes are people who make fun of people who are different, bullies, people who stare at me, and people who would like to see historic structures/habitats pulled down for develepment.

I'm signing off for now, Bye.

Anxiety - Teh Shizzle that dictates my sons life

2011-03-30T19:30:00.000+11:00

I have a sore back - strained lumbar muscles, aggrevated old injury due to a 'moment' with my beautiful Aspie kidlet.
This is all I'm expanding on except to say I lurve Voltarin and various pain meds, hot water bottles and my darling kidlet who is unable to control some behaviours due to the overwhelming anxiety he deals with every day.

His anxiety is Teh Shizzle - if it was a person it would be The Fonz (from Happy Days) except it'd be the Fonz's evil twin cousin sitting on his shoulder telling him to be the bad arse biker dude, to scare the crapola outa everyone and to bask in the FEAR he inspires in those around him.
BUT.
That is not how my Aspie teen works; he is a kind, gentle soul who goes out of his way to help others,who strives his best to do good and who sobs uncontrollably when he knows he's mucked up and hurt someone.

This isn't a kid growing into being a bad person who'll end up in gaol.
This is a kid growing into being a person trying to negotiate the boundaries anxiety throws up in everyday situations and trying to find his footing in everyday situations you or I would think nothing about...who might end up in gaol through misunderstandings.
My biggest nightmare.

Teh Shizzle is an awe inspiring, fearsome anxiety where he goes into auto-pilot; it's kill or be killed, attack or be hurt, such is his anxiety and paranoia.
(which some twat believes will be helped be sending him back to an overcrowded high school, did I mention this? Oh yes, I did, let's just repeat this 'joke')
You can have a fabulous conversation with him one minute and then suddenly he'll turn into a screaming virago if he misunderstands/misinterprets what your meaning is - which is common on the Spectrum.
Teh Shizzle is something to behold ; it's an all consuming anxiety that drives superhuman strength, it crosses all boundaries and defies logic/commonsense and makes science into a lie such is his twisting argument.

BUT - it only happens with his father and I - he contains his stress until he is home where he "can let it all hang out", where (typical Aspie) he feels comfy and can regurgitate the anxiety that's been growing inside of him.
He is perfectly well behaved with other people so please do not feel intimidated in not meeting this wonderful personc or others like him.

Personality disorder/ schizo-effective disorder as he was diagnosed back in the day?
Farked if I know.
Autistic-driven anxiety as another specialist would have it?
Farked if I know.
Asperger's anxiety combined with hormones?
Farked if I know.
Tourette's anxiety attack?
See above.
(have you seen a pattern here? I am not an expert on any of Teh Shizzle, I am but a commuter taken along for a ride until Teh Shizzle decides we've reached the end of the penny section and boots me off when the Aspie teen bursts into great floods of tears and I need to cuddle him until he settles again).

Teh Shizzle is more then mere anxiety; anxiety is so underestimated in its powerful hold on people it's swept under the carpet and many don't consider the strength anxiety wields over the sufferer.
Teh Shizzle is HUGE, it is the mammoth wave about to dump you into the beach leaving you breathless, scared and completely out of control.
Teh Shizzle will not take mercy on you; it will not give a fat rat's clacker how scared it makes you, how it screws with your life or twists your thinking.
Teh Shizzle is a bitch.

And it is an insidious parasite that hitches a ride with my Aspie teen, it sucks his happiness away like a blood-starvd leech, it pushes its way into his everyday life and colours his experience to its own bent.
We don't like Teh Shizzle.
If you know someone battling anxiety, please don't dismiss it; it can be a massive hurdle for people to overcome in everyday activities and showing some understanding is a big help.
Thanks for reading :)

Do YOU socialise with 1000+ of your peers 5 days per week? Then you're just not socialising enough!

2011-03-28T12:04:00.000+11:00

Right, you lot!
You, you and you - up the back, hiding behind the lamp post, chewing on your hair - you're all to come up here and give a public speech about how you all socialise with 1000+ of your peers every single day.

*waiting....waiting...waiting...*

Come on now, surely you've been to school?
Surely you've been taught 'the proper way' to socialise with gazillions of total strangers you have nothing in common with and been taught to enjoy your discomfort even when most of them farted the alphabet in science class after egg sangas at lunch?
And, surely to goodness, you're continuing this tradition now that you're all growed up and socialised proper?
(the socialisation, not farting the alphabet around the water cooler to impress that weird work experience chick from accounting)
*rolls eyes*

No?!
What do you mean you "don't associate with that many people even at work" ????
Is this some kind of madness?
You've been to school, that's where you learn to socialise!
Maybe you didn't learn properly?!

*rolls eyes again*

I have been told that to ensure correct socialisation (which is apparently the cause of a teenager hearing voices and hurting himself) the answer is to send an anxiety-ridden, mentally unwell child back to an over-crowded secondary school.
Because, apparently, belonging to 4 different sporting clubs, a drama club, lapidary club, a social group with a social worker and psychologist on hand, not to forget having frequent excursions...none of these count.

*rolls eyes wildly until they fall out of head*

Plonk

Got to love those who are so rigid in their beliefs that homeschooled kids
A) don't get taught anything
B) have no socialisation
and repeat ad infinitum only what they know - that 'normal' schools are the only way to educate and teach kids to be social.

*rolls pre-plonked eyeballs wildly across bench top in attempt to be sarcastic*

*avoids teabags on bench cos those sting eyeballs like a mofo*

Cos, goodness knows, we all spend about 8-10 hours each day with over 1000 people, behaving in a socially acceptable manner at all times, never wishing to have time to ourselves and, because we are all Borgs/replicas none of us ever feel anxious/nervous/claustrophobic or stressed at sharing so much of our lives with these strangers we have little in common with.
Don't we...?

*No eyeballs were hurt in the making of this dribble*

Rocking the education thing the homeschooling fun way

2011-03-26T14:09:00.000+11:00

So, this homeschooling bizzo got cranked up again.
Printed off a shedload of worksheets for Aspie teen to explore the Bunjilaka Gallery at the ever-fabulously-wonderful Melbourne Museum (available on the Melbourne Museum website).

Gotta love these critters...or, maybe...not?
I swear it was a Pokemon in another era...

This helps him know ahead of time what work is expected of him, how much work he has, the style of the questions, what he needs to look for and gives him time to get himself into the appropriate headspace.

A teaser!

A tempting little peek at the Big Future Tutenkhamun exhibit being unpacked...

Got the Aspie teen in there after lunch - after he'd had a minor meltdown over the fact that he'd outgrown a bajillion pairs of jeans ( and kept that fact to himself) and had nothing to wear (except the squillions of shorts he'd been living in for the past few months) but a quick trip to the op shop by his father got it sorted...and a couple of belts were bought as we had to ditch all the belts in the house after Certain Incidents happened a couple of times and hiding places were all found and the last time the police came........where was I again?
Oh, yeah, we got to the museum late but that was no biggie as we were concentrating on the one gallery and everything else was a bonus.

Thought of Jah Teh when I cast my baby blues over these magnificent samples.

Have plenty of shots of the other pretties, will post more in future posts.

Sticking to the K.I.S.S (Keep It Simple Stupid) principal works well, totally removes the pressure and the ~~kid~~ teen is happily able to concentrate and learn.

He burbled about happily, filling in the worksheets, noting info, watching re-enactments/movies, filling his store of knowledge up a bit more and making mental connections between his previously learned info with the new facts he gleaned yesterday.
Cos he's a visual learner and presenting the practical component under his very nose what he'd learned the theory of suddenly pieces many seemingly random bits of info into a complex tapestry of facts in his mind.

Yes, even shoving this under his nose gets a big thumbs up.

Cos he was settled, under no pressure, no one was harping at him to finish the set work, to send it in by a certain date, to critique his knowledge and put a value on it.
No offense to teachers out there but that is how he feels, that he doesn't measure up cos he needs to take his time to focus, concentrate, absorb the information and process it without the pressure of time frames hanging over him, catching up/keeping up with peers or his never-far-away ingrained fear that he'll fail.

If fear of failure was to have a visage then I think this pretty much fits the profile.

We popped into a few other galleries while we had the time and had a ball, the best was in the rainforest gallery where we we able to watch 2 male Satin Bowerbirds (the ones that collect all things blue) court and woo the equally gorgeous-but-adorned-in-green females of the species whilst weaving and building their nests.
Seriously, take your kids to see them, you'll never get that close to them in the wild and they are amazing!

Got loads of pics, difficult to tell which one is which til I post them so I'll probably post more in later posts - really attractive birds so easy eye candy in any subject.

Go on, you know what caption I had in mind when I took this....

"Crabz! I haz them!"

Last Saturday at Ausblogcon I unexpectantly had lunch with two top chicks....

2011-03-25T21:31:00.000+11:00

...the authors of The Australian Autism Handbook.
Click HERE to have a listen to their conversation (from 2008) with Richard Fidler.

There I was, noming the delish food during the conference lunchbreak when this lovely lady said ,
"I think you should be sitting here with us,"
So, being the obedient little soul that I am (shut up) I trotted over and fell into a fabulous conversation with ( or more listened to) these ladies.

Seana Smith is gregarious, witty and generous with her knowledge while Benison O'Reilly is a tad quieter but equally witty and shares another quality with her co-author ; neither of them pull any punches when it comes to discussing ASD.

After we realised we all had a child on the Spectrum we compared notes on age of diagnosis, different state regulations and funding, rates of progress and how there wasn't a lot of home grown literature for parenting ASD teens or social groups.

We discussed the various bits and bobs of growing/maturing kids on the Spectrum; they shared how some families are negotiating the mine field that is Sex! Raging Hormones! Mood Swings! Obsessions! and all the other usual suspects any teen suddenly discovers in those crucial years but which present a whole different box of dice when it comes to keeping ASD teens safe and on the right side of the law.

We talked, laughed, shared tales, laughed at stuff only parents of ASD kids can find funny and generally passed a lovely time together.

We swapped blog addys and I recommended some blogs to them, particularly Magneto Bold Too then we parted company back to the conference but it was one of the most pleasant unexpected luncheon dates I've ever had!

Digging diligently at Dunolly....

2011-03-24T22:04:00.000+11:00

.... is my Aspie teen's idea of heaven.

Dunolly has this magical ability to settle a cloak of calmness all about Aspie teen's shoulders the moment we step off the bus into the main street Broadway.

Unfortunately we haven't had a chance to shift our carcasses up there since December...or was it January?
I can't remember, too much crap in between drinks and between my ears since then.

This distance ed lark has whiskers on it with the extra pressure and anxiety caused by deadlines and constant phone calls from teachers; the whole idea was for him to have to answer to someone other than his Mama as educator but all it's done is given him a shedload more issues.
Today he rocked himself to sleep on the couch after fretting about schoolwork - yet again.
So, I'm pulling the pin.

We're taking tomorrow off, playing hookey, going on a homeschooling excursion of our choice, wandering off into the wide blue yonder; we'll probably park our carcasses at the museum to drink in the peace and soul-restoring tranquility of the fossils.
Yes, dead stuff is good.
It doesn't generally talk back.

The Ginormous Godzilla-like teen I found at my place...

2011-03-24T05:01:00.000+11:00

Right, so when I touched back down to planet earth after the blogging conference I was greeted at the front door by an Aspie teen who I could physically see had grown.
Not that I'd been away and kept imagining him smaller than what he already really was (he's been a few cms taller than me for months now and I'm not allowed to forget it *snort*) but this was noticable.

Wednesday he re-read his football team newsletter and discovered he should have started training 2 weeks previously (minor moment but quickly settled) then....
"You better try on your footy boots to see if they still fit," hubby remarked and I almost choked on my cuppa tea.
Ahuh.
Whistling in the wind with that one, dear.
This kid has had more growth spurts in the past 6-8 months than I've had hot dinners.
No, footy boots too small, so off they trotted to the nearby (thank god) soccer shop where the clod-hoppers didn't break the bank.

Yes, that does say size 14.

Just for argument's sake I got the Aspie teen up against the measuring wall thingie - doesn't every house have one? (ours is the inside of the kitchen door frame).

Yep, he'd edged upwards a good 5cms since we last measured.

It may or may not have something to do with the tonnes of meals he works his way through every day.....

Ausblogcon lightbulb moments and Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings!

2011-03-23T14:04:00.000+11:00

This weekend just gone I ranned away to Sydney to the Aussie Bloggers Conference and, not only did I recharge my mental batteries by socialising with Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings! (who didn't suddenly chuck a wobbly and have a meltdown at my feet....although they were more than welcome to, I was so freaking nervous I'd have probably stepped over them and given them a time out in my vagueness *snort*)...

But anywho!
I got to meet some fanTABulous people who I've been reading for umpteen gazillion years, they are all wonderful.
Yes, they're Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings!
*gasp*
(Does it show that I don't get out much...?)

Something...well, several things 2 speakers in particular made a point of mentioning rang bells with me.
The first was to be careful what you blog - heck, sure we all think we're being careful but hindsight is always 20:20 and looking back over some of the confidences I've shared about Aspie teen there are a number of things he could easily misconstrue or see in a completely wrong light.
Cos the internet is forever.
Will he wonder, in years to come, if I loathed him at those times?
Did I, perhaps, write these posts as payback for his personal mental hell we've travelled with him?
The answer is, of course, no to both of these hypothetical questions but it needs to be made clear.

Another point was made by a chickybabe with a fabulously wicked wit and manner, Carly - she was, essentially, talking about how people think they know all about her medical condition just by watching a single doco when it actually varies from person to person, her comment was ;

"Only the person with the condition can really explain or discuss it."

And it hit home that while I might babble about what my son is going through from a parents perspective only he can really explain/explore what is happening.
I can certainly tell you how many walls he's smashed, how he's burned up enough calories in a single meltdown to make a weight loss company CEO green with envy or how we're all on tenterhooks just waiting for the next upset.
Yes, I can babble that crap til the cows come home but I cannot slip inside my boy's wonderfully fragile head and tell you how he thinks, what he thinks about, what irritates him, what makes him happy, all that guff.
Only he can do that.

So, having a little cry on the bus on the way home on Monday morning (after I'd cleverly tucked the free Kleenex tissues in my backpack that was in the luggage compartment under the bus *snort*) I thought about how I needed to discuss with Aspie teen about him joining this blog.
He has said yes but there are no promises as to when or what he will blog; he's finding the demands of distance ed quite difficult (even doing only 4 subjects) and anxiety-causing on most days.
We have sat and chatted about what I've written, some days I have asked him if I can mention certain incidents, other gut-wrenching things I've deliberately omitted cos there is no need to share some of the really graphic crap with you (and neither Aspie teen or myself would thank me for doing so).
Taking each day as it comes and, most probably, we'll be returning to home schooling where he can feel more in control and enjoy learning again.
And he might blog.

I'd rather he was in the chook house than up the tree

2011-02-22T23:46:00.001+11:00

I'd rather he was in the chook house than up the tree

Yes, I really did utter that statement to Hubby last Saturday.
We looked at each other and snorted as we realised how bizarre it would sound to most people.
Well, he did the eye rolling/head shaking thing while I snorted enough for both of us.
Cos our son was in the chook house hiding from the police.
Again.
As you do.

The chooks were a tad put out but I'm sure, given time, they would have learnt to share the space.
Perhaps.
That's if the Aspie child hadn't tried to convince them to stand in front of him and hide him...Trinian and Latte apparently didn't get the memo on team playing and supporting the hand that feeds you so they galloped out of there, leaving him under the eyes of two lovely police people.

Then we did the usual merry-go-round dance of going to the children's via ambulance where more wonderful people bent over backwards to help.
Scary thing is we're starting to recognise the doctors and nurses who are starting to recognise us.
Next thing you know we'll be exchanging Chrissy pressies, inviting each other over for BBQs, calling each other BFF and swapping clothes....
No, wait!
Seriously.
I'd marry the gal who shared my shoe size only for the fact I'd never have to tackle the sales assistant for the Very.Last.Ever ladies size in Omgyourfeetarehumongouslady!
But, I digress...

So, after a gazillion appointments this week with a squillion more to come before TGI Friday kicks in, Aspie offspring is on new meds which appear to be helping (and, judging by his improved lap times, are probably a banned sports enhacing substance but, shhhh, we won't mention it to the swim coach).
Had a MILD moment this afternoon where he simply ran outside.
So I left him to it (after ascertaining he wasn't going to do anything silly).
Then we heard noises so we checked.
He was cleaning the spouting on the shed.
He keeps this up I'll hire him out...

....The grass is as high as an elephant's eye....how's the humidity....?

2011-02-18T13:46:00.000+11:00

Well, we're alive, which can only be a positive, hey?

The feral Aspie teen has chosen to name his voices The Unholy Chorus (like a former patient of mine did) - he couldn't think of anything himself and I suggested it might help him learn to pick differences between his beloved parents ~~nagging at~~ talking to him and The Unholy Chorus calling him names (see? BIG difference to you and I, him not so much). NFI if it'll work but it's worth a try to at least get him knowing that they are from different sources.

The grass is growing like mad (hiding the dog's 'land mines', curses!) what with all the torrential downpours and Darwin humidity that's shifted south.
The same humidity 'they' can't seem to stop comparing with all places north of the Equator on a daily basis as well as claiming 'they' have proof these wild weather patterns are caused by climate change.
Thanks for that.
We'd have never noticed on our own.
*rolls eyes*
Have been living on my Garden Salad Pizzas, which I'll blog the recipe for in another post; perfect for hot summer days, doesn't heat up the house, and super yum.
*drool*
We have a lone frog croaking in our backyard.
*Not so drool-worthy but cute*
South-east Melbourne suburb and we've got a mature tadpole that took a wrong turn somewhere.
This may or may not have been assisted by the inflatable wading pool that his been left out since last being graced by the flood-causing lardy butt.
And the squillion of mozzies.
And the humidity.
Along with the little drop tail lizards, ginormous caterpillers, a bajillion Rainbow Lorikeets, the odd Grass Parrot, swarms of Praying Mantis' (who seem to have an unhealthy fascination with Hubby *snort*), monstrously huge spiders who think they can scare us feeble humans with a glance (I, for one, won't disabuse them of this notion!) , squadrons of Dragon Flies zipping about madly at dusk as they gobble the damn mozzies, native bees who refuse to be herded into anything resembling a honey-producing box, humidity making everything including my delectable 12 seed bread go mouldy as fast as A Certain Spin Bowler can sms, a mango seed that has roots/stems/leaves and looks set to take over the world while it's mates the avocado seeds are sending out scout parties to check for intelligent life forms.
They'll be gone a looooong time....
So, how's the ~~humidity~~ serenity...?

Calm sailing in aisle 4....Aisle 4, calm sailing...thank you

2011-02-12T13:19:00.001+11:00

Well, having vomited my brain-fartage upon you in my previous post today I'll play it light and dreamy.
No, I'm not on drugs or drinking bucketloads of grog (at this present moment in time) but things are....calm.
The Tourette's vocal tics have kicked back in; they're always there it's just he's using them as more of an outlet to let loose some of his steam and to give us fair warning that he's anxious.
Not that he hasn't been told to verbalise these things but when he gets highly anxious commands, simple steps, rules of behaviour, etc, all fly out the window and he runs on gut instinct.
So, he's grunting a lot, his father has bought him a shedload of bubble wrap in rolls which he both sits and maniacally pops with glee and in turns uses it to belt us with.
It's true...bubblewrap really is (almost) as good as therapy with a shrink.
Think of those soft nerf balls and that's what it's like being hit with.
Sure beats having the crap belted out of you with a fist, foot or any piece of furniture lying close at hand.
Anyway!
He's off to his lapidary club, for his 3rd year, where he learns lapidary and all about geology and geography, minerals, gems and how to make an ice cream bucket of opal/garnet/greenstone/semi-precious gemstone bits into something close to any woman's heart.
Oh, and he's started on his Spanish.
He of the silver tongue will be able to woo any girl that crosses his path!
Things are in progress to get something done - don't want to say anything just yet in case I mozz it all, but we are being heard :)

Ted Baillieu your public mental healthcare sucks hairy dogs balls. Fix it. Yesterday.

2011-02-10T23:05:00.000+11:00

I have officially reached the end of my patience.
Not with my son, not with his disabilities or his mental health issues but with the public health/mental health system here in Victoria.
This is where I throw down the gauntlet, where I name and shame the shitful hospitals.
Oh, wait.
There is only ONE shitful hospital.
In my opinion.
Monash Medical Centre at Clayton.
And before you get on your high horses I have worked there in several different depts through nurse agencies.
So, back in April of 2010 we called the police and ambulance to attend my son who was losing the plot.
Both emergency services attended, we went to Monash Medical Centre in Clayton via ambulance WITH police escort.
We got trundled through and then.....we waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The poor registrar on duty busted her gut trying to get someone to come down to review Aspie teen...she rang a bajillion bastards but not one of the mongrels, INCLUDING Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service, would dare dirty their precious selves in A&E.
So, we went home.

The 2nd time, not quite a month later, the ambos attending made the diagnosis of "Ohh, he's just had a temper tantrum".
Really?
You call smashing a house up, screaming incoherently, frothing at the mouth, wrapping a belt around your neck until you turn blue, climbing a tree and trying to hang yourself with said belt while making random paranoid claims a temper tantrum?
Then we got to Monash Medical Centre where the triage nurse - and, yes, she still works there, go figure - told me (and I quote verbatum)
"We have other children with more urgent needs who have to be seen ahead of your son, you have several hours to wait ahead of you, we can't even guarantee we can get anyone down here to look at him. Go wait in the waiting room."
The waiting room that was overflowing out into the car park.
Yeah, Monash Medical Centre sucks shit.
And, yes, I lodged a verbal complaint which was dealt with UBER pronto by the Director of Paediatric emergency medicine but, gee whiz, the same nurse crapped all over the admission of my Dad a few months later so obviously that "talk" you were going to have with her didn't make a dent on the thick matter between the stupid bint's ears.
Such was the crappy response it actually stopped me from trying to get help for months as I had been told by that useless ambo I HAD to attend Monash Medical Centre, that we DIDN'T get a say in where my child got treated.

We have called headspace, CAMHS, the cops, the ambos, the paediatrician, disability services and Uncle Tom Cobbley.
Some cops wanted to charge Aspie teen, others were more understanding, CAMHS intake worker didn't want to help telling me to get him charged by the police, disability services only got their act together after months of requests when the cops called them on our behalf, headspace felt he was too complex to attend there.
We have been to the Royal Children's Hosp - where the staff totally freakin' rock and run rings around those at Monash Medical Centre.

We have, as you know, recently attended the Royal Children's where they bent over backwards to get Aspie teen seen quicker at CAMHS for a medication review due to the fact he was trying to use knives on himself.
So, today we went to CAMHS stupidly hoping and thinking we were going to get some action, some medication review, something.
Nope.
They didn't even have his old history from his previous attendence there nor the paperwork the headspace psychistrist had copied to fax to them last week.
We got seen, asked a bunch of questions then told in another week or so they'd make a referral to yet another fucking public mental healthcare service "to get a really thorough assessment done".
Cos all the freaking specialists we've seen, the psychologist, the neurologist, the psychiatrists, the paediatrician, the speech therapists, the early intervention therapists and the umpteen counsellors haven't spent months doing 'really thorough assessments' already?
The bulging fucking file, full of reams and reams of documents of assessments, diagnosis', labels, names, treatments, interventions, behaviour management plans, and the eleventy hundred medications used doesn't mean diddly squat?
Because this new mob will do "a really thorough assessment" and rule out "labels no longer current like Aspie Teen's Tourette's"?
Because the freaking Tourette's was ONLY present just this week with his verbal tics in grunting during his anxiety attack at the Royal Children's Hosp, at home, prior to swimming, when shopping, when doing schoolwork?
But this is not current?!
What really pisses me off is the fact that, yes I am fully aware these people are over-worked and under-paid BUT they are in a position where they NEED TO LISTEN to what is being relayed to them.
They NEED to follow through on their DUTY OF CARE, they cannot just go through the motions, they HAVE to listen to the information being told to them.
BECAUSE THAT IS THEIR FUCKING JOB.
And after all this shit of almost 12 months where are we at?
Same old, same old - no medication review, no help, no assessment, nothing.

I have a 14 yr old who is unstable, who is on anti-psychotic and anti-anxiety medications which are doing jack shit, he is flipping out and smashing the house up several times each week on average, hurting us as well as himself, attempting to injure himself more and more, has admitted to hearing voices and yet....
Victoria's Mental Health sucks hairy dogs' balls.
Nothing will get done until someone is badly hurt and then the depts will panic, going into overdrive, looking to place the blame with either the victim or the scapegoat who is the lowest rung in the organisation.

Swearing...and crap...and shitty stuff...see? Swearing. I told you so.

2011-02-08T19:36:00.000+11:00

Here I am...again.
No, trying desperately for some jocularity but failing miserably.
So, I mightn't.
Try, that is.
It's worse prattling crap that is no where close to being funny.
So you just get the crap.
2 hospital visits, one on Sunday the other today.
Police were involved, too, with capsicum spray at the ready.
Again.
One thing different...knives were involved today.
Knives that have lived on a magnetic strip screwed to the kitchen wall for years HIGH up above our heads and the trusty Stanley knife in the shed.
Until Aspie teen had his growth spurt and is just taller than me.
Kitchen knives now locked in ugly orange toolbox, with an ugly padlock, tucked away out of sight under the kitchen bench.
No injuries, no skin broken, no blood happened...but only because his father scared him into dropping the first one and wrestled the second one off him.
Numb.
I feel numb...not so much as when someone dies but like everything is at a distance, like the old proverbial of looking at life through the bottom of a bottle.
Or...something.
Cos, apart from the knives, he's hearing voices.
Has been for ages.
But good old Denial is more than a river in Egypt and if you keep denying it those voices might disappear.
Yeah, when pigs fly backwards to the moon on Sundays for fresh fish from China.
Is he psychotic?
Probably, going by the behaviour and paranoid claims we've had thrown at us (along with the claw hammer, shoes, utensils, etc).
Is it schizophrenia?
Is it anxiety?
Is it the full moon turning blue in the 3rd house of Saturn when Taurus passes through the 2nd quarter?
Who freaking knows.
All I know is that those on the Autistic Spectrum do have the potential to start waltzing up close and personal with a mental illness, of any sort, variety and style.
Gotta love mental illness, it's an equal opportunity bullshit artist c**t.

Walk 2 Adelaide Walk 4 Autism

2011-02-03T13:45:00.000+11:00

Ashley Giordano and Anika Doktor are two best friends who are taking their passion for walking to a whole new level with a 770km walk from Footscray in Melbourne’s west to South Terrace in Adelaide, starting on 16th March 2011, to help raise awareness about Autism and to raise much-needed funds for families and individuals who face the everyday challenges that Autism Spectrum Disorders present.

For further details and to view their walking route click HERE.

Can You Help?   We are looking for all sorts of help with the event! Our team consists of
   two walkers, four drivers and two support crew – eight people in total. If
   you can help with any of the items listed below, please contact James (03
   9657 1614) or Fran (03 9657 1611).

Great opportunity to promote your business by sponsoring this great cause!

Download a sponsorship flyer HERE.

Motorhome/campervan – do you own a vehicle that’s sitting idle during
   March that we could use to give visibility and support for the trip?

   Accommodation_– can you provide a night’s accommodation for the team or
   some of the team in your town? Hotels/motels/B&Bs/private homes…..?

  Meals– could you provide an evening meal in your town for the team or part
   of the team?

   Local Support Groups and Autism Victoria Members – put on a local event in
   your town to welcome the walkers and/or see them off in the morning!

To support these girls in this fabulous cause download a flyer HERE.

World Autism Awareness Day April 2, 2011

2011-02-03T12:50:00.001+11:00

If you're in Melbourne please come along.
If you're not - please feel free to Tweet this event far and wide as VERY LITTLE media coverage was given to it last year.
Aspie teen LOVED the walk the last year and we'll be going along again this year.

Are you interested in volunteering for a fun-filled day to raise awareness
of Autism Spectrum Disorders?

On Saturday 2nd April 2011, Autism Victoria will be celebrating World
Autism Awareness Day to raise awareness of Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Following the success of our Autism Awareness March to the State Library
last year, we are now taking to the streets again and ask all our Autism
Victoria members and eSpectrum subscribers to come along and support this
event (and bring your friends and family!). This year we will be marching
along St Kilda Esplanade to the Beachcomber Cafe in St Kilda where we will
release 3000 multi-coloured balloons at St Kilda Beach.

Autism Victoria is seeking volunteers to assist with the walk and the 3000
balloon release on this day.

Tasks include:
* Assisting with the organisation of the formal assembly area
* Helping families and individuals congregate in the one main area
* Handing out balloons
* Helping families/individuals/children to complete the walk
* Ushering attendees
* Maintaining road safety
* Crowd control
* Maintaining a clean and tidy area

If you are interested in volunteering and would like to dedicate your time
to help make this a successful and exciting event on Saturday 2nd April,
please contact Stacey Aroutzidis via email at
stacey.aroutzidis@autismvictoria.org.au with your name and contact
details for further communication.

Balaclava Bagels nom nom nom nom nom nom

2011-02-01T16:43:00.000+11:00

So, we're in February.
Where'd that month go!
Scared much?!
School starts on Friday for us here in Victoria - yeah, go figure, some bureaucrat was let loose with the calendar to pick a date, any date for kids to return to school and out of a whole calendar....they had to choose a Friday.
In Summer.
In what has turned out to be an uncivilised heatwave.
Ahuh.
Guess those monkeys are still running the nuthouse, eh?
Anyway, the feral Aspie teen is officially beginning distance ed on Friday.
Could be interesting.
Had him off to headspace today to see the psychiatrist - he's too complex and has been referred back to good old CAMHS.
But, despite the blistering heat, the furnace-like wind blasting the skin off our faces and drying our eyeballs into shrivelled up little prunes we managed to wrestle a smoked salmon, cream cheese with capers bagel from the ever delish Glicks Bakery nom nom nom nom nom nom.
I was good and merely ~~drooled salivated wildly~~ watched while he et the delectable morsel.

Kickin' out the bulltish, cos life's too short for someone else's bulltish

2011-01-24T12:04:00.000+11:00

It's been 1 week since Aspie teen had his appointment with the neurologist - which means it's been a whole week without a meltdown.
No over-riding anxiety, no panic attacks, no rage attacks, no fretting, no worry.
Nothing except my beautiful Aspie communicating with us.

He had a very minor moment when hubby and I were having a quiet disagreement over something trivial. He spoke to us - not screaming, not yelling, not smashing the house up but SPOKE to us - that

"Parents always have to agree, you're not supposed to have disagreements, all parents get along and don't disagree. People all have to get along, we shouldn't have disagreements cos that is wrong."

Umm.....how about, no?
When hubby and I explained to him that it would be a pretty bloody boring world if everyone was in complete agreement all the time he FINALLY told us the Ed Dept employed worker who was supposed to be teaching him social behaviour in his lunch hour at school was, in fact, indoctrinating him into some fairytale bulltish world, telling him mummies and daddies, and people in general, never, ever, ever disagree.
Which has merely fed his increasing anxiety over the years because once he's told something never, ever,ever happenes, It.Is.Carved.In.Stone.

But when it does happen...as it usually does.....it's off the Richter scale of WRONG for him, triggering anxiety, meltdowns, etc, as it's going against what he believes is right, it's out of his control therefore the fight-flight-or-freeze response kicks in...in his case it's usually the fight response.
Putting the finger on what causes this reaction has been difficult as not even Aspie teen has been able to verbalise or identify - until now - what the trigger is.

But this time....THIS time, we bested that beast and knocked it on the head!
Since then he's come to me and asked about things, checking if his behaviour is correct, if his understanding of particular social situations is on the ball or did he misread it.
In other words, the fight or flight response is (shhhhh, quietly now) perhaps....gone.

The power of knowing names

2011-01-20T15:32:00.000+11:00

It is an ancient belief, in many cultures, that there is power in names and those who know a person's real name have a powerful hold over them.
You know how I've said a few times that just the knowing is a huge relief in itself?
Well, it's just as relieving for Aspie teen.
For the first time in almost 2 years he hasn't gone off tap during a full moon.
Since Monday he's been quieter, a fair bit calmer, asking for loads of cuddles and being a snuggly boy.
I had a quiet chat with him and he said he feels calmer, less frightened since the meeting with the neurologist.
A name, a label, for his behaviour and a reason for it have given him a calmness he hasn't had for 24 months.
9th January 2009 he was shoved off a trampoline and his whole world shifted with his personality change, his massive anger at the world, his anger at himself for this behaviour and his never-ending sense of being unworthy.
It's not something we can change, there's no magic wands to be waved nor have we got a time machine to pop back and alter history.
This Boogie monster is hitching a ride with us for ever and we have to make the best of it; knowing its name and where it sprang from has given back to Aspie teen a sense of empowerment that has made this Boogie monster shrink somewhat.
Like the horrid troll Rumplestiltskin it's lost a lot of its power over us just by knowing it's name and where it dwells.

Think of the shrieking teen babysitter shakily picking up the phone that is ringing late in the dark stormy night after the lights have gone out, with lightning flashes illuminating the room and the scared teen answering the phone,

"Helllloooo?"

Heavy breathing down the line, a door creaks open, the lightning flashes and the thunder roars.

But the no-longer-scared babysitter yells,

"I know your name and I know where you live. I'mmmmmm commmmming to geeeeeeet yooooooooooooou!"

And then the babysitter picks up a chainsaw, ice pick and hockey mask.....

*snort*

We got AN ANSWER!!!!! No, it is not 42...although that is my age right now...Spooky, Mulder!

2011-01-18T10:42:00.000+11:00

But seriously, WOOT!
Saw a fabulous neurologist for Aspie teen yesterday.
We have An Answer!
A label for these monstrous outbursts!
Episodic Dyscontrol Syndrome aka Intermittent Explosive Disorder.
Go on, go gurgle it.
*waits*

No, I did not do crack cocaine or drink alcohol or swing from chandeliers when pregnant; I had high blood pressure, worked full-time until the placenta previa was discovered (the placenta was covering my cervix, no emergency exit that way), enough fluid retention to call off the drought and was so bored on strict bedrest that I even read the fine print on those dinky Franklin Mint offers.

And at 16 weeks I lost Aspie teen's twin.
Didn't know there were twins until after the fact, lost him/her on THE weekend all freakin' radiologists were out on strike (cos a potential miscarriage is not considered an emergency. huh) so we had to wait til Monday to discover the Aspie fetus was waving his bungee cord about still, that there was an empty sac beside him and there was another egg propped at the end of my fallopian tube waiting to get rubbed up the right way by the Spouse's swimmers.
The GP was very insistent "Please, don't have sex for awhile!"
I've followed his instructions to the letter ever since....

Anywho, the kidlet was born via caesarian, was whipped off to the neo-natal unit, yada, yada, yada, the rest is history.
So, yesterday we were told that whenever a twin dies in utero there is always some form of brain damage to the surviving twin, even if it is unable to be detected by an MRI.
Which is the most likely cause of his frontal lobe not working properly (ADHD, behaviour control, Tourette's, Autism, etc).
And the push off the trampoline 2 years ago may be the straw that broke the camels back with yet another insult to his frontal lobe, triggering the Episodic Dyscontrol.
So, we wait for the appointment for the MRI and further genetic testing (as it's been almost 10 years since our last lot of genetic tests and massive progress has been made since then).
Not that there actually is anything we can do; we can't stop it or change Aspie teen or hang him upside down from the chandelier and whistle Dixie to see if he turns into a frog.
We basically stick to the medication he's on.
And ride out the malestrom whenever it hits.
But now we know!

The Black Balloon is my life...almost

2011-01-17T08:54:00.000+11:00

Finally watched The Black Balloon last night.
Yeah, yeah, call me slow but the universe conspired against me seeing this movie until now.
Aspie teen insisted on watching it and had a few moments throughout, identifying with a number of behaviours and events.
The scene where Thomas goes nuts on his 16th birthday and things get broken?
A mere blink of an eyelid in our house; that scene goes on and on and on and on here, sometimes everyday, in one form or another.
The human services at the front door due to sticky nose neighbours?
Yep, had 'em here due to a new neighbour (who didn't want to meet anyone in the street) claiming we were tormenting Aspie toddler when we were trying to toilet train him.

Toilet training was a nightmare and deserves a whole post on its own.
No, seriously, it does.
And you will thank me for it.
Maybe.

The scene where the mainstream school kids are picking on Charlie?
Eldest daughter's high school was near Aspie boy's autistic school and a number of her (male) classmates found it necessary to stand near the fence at recess and inform the younger children of their correct titles their parents had forgotten to tell them.
Titles like retard, dipshit, spastic, fucktard, and others.
Eldest daughter tried defending the younger kids but was laughed at, which made her mad.
Teachers did nothing.
So she told her mummy.
Her mummy and Aspie boy met the ring leader on his way home from school one day and, seeing as he'd battled getting his message across large playing areas and a fence, he was politely offered the chance to inform Aspie boy to his face what his correct title was.
Sadly, the ring leader felt the need to start training for the 1 km dash and was last seen galloping down the street with a 4 year old in hot pursuit.
About a week later someone who looked like the former ring leader apologised to eldest daughter and Aspie boy.
I guess it took him a week to grow a pair of balls.

I digress.
The Black Balloon is my life...almost.
We will have Aspie teen living with us forever, we will have to troubleshoot a lot of life for him, we will have to continually explain things and correct his misconceptions.
But, unlike the movie ending, we will not be sharing a bath tub with him.....
Cos the little bugger WILL pee on our leg!

Peter Pan Aspie

2011-01-13T19:30:00.000+11:00

I still have trouble getting my head around the fact Aspie teen will never be 'normal', nor that he will have a fully independent life as you and I know.
Two steps forward, one step back: he's actually been looking at his distance ed website and trotting through all the study groups but another couple of major meltdowns last night and this morning saw us back at square one.
Why the meltdowns?
Who frigging knows.
He says he was suddenly scared by me calling out to hubby in another room (which we do every.single.day) although he'd had a moment earlier in the day and briefly refused to keep his appointment with his (long-known) psychologist.
Pressure?
Anxiety?
Yep, but we get lulled into a false sense of security when he's sitting on the couch watching telly then suddenly explodes for no apparent reason.
It doesn't help the psychologist told us she'd had another Aspie boy in, same age, trying to control his rage attacks.
Hellloooo, deja vu, I think we've been on this merry go round before....although I think we forgot to get off.
He cannot cope with most day to day social things - he actually walked to the nearby shop last weekend for the first time on his own.
He was shaking and rocking afterwards.
He says he doesn't mind supermarkets yet he has to go dig holes in the backyard or hammer pieces of wood to relax after we've tackled one.
He says he gets scared at our voices, that smells make him angry, people looking at him wrong upset him and, of course, he argues with the tv when the presenter states something that is incorrect.
Most times he can pass for a NT and then it all falls to shit.
We relax after 2 days of reasonable behaviour and then ka-boom, the house is smashed, hubby is pummeled and the dam bursts with floods of tears, shaking, rocking, grunting and tight, clinging hugs as he's scared himself with his behaviour, not to mention the gaps in his memory as he can't exactly remember what it was that he did.
He has a monstrously high IQ yet he cannot cope with mundane things.
This is my wonderful, fantastic, beautiful kid, who will forever be a kid.

2nd floor autism, bras, bills and footy boots

2011-01-05T11:05:00.000+11:00

Today I'm going to talk about....bras.
I can see all male readers will be hitting the red X...after having turned green about the gills.
Aspie teen, himself, would be squealing with horror if he knew I was mentioning....bras.
When you get blessed with a kid with 'quirks' these quirks come with a hefty price tag, at times.
To the point where an awful lot of things get put on the 'unimportant' list and you learn to do without.
Last night I vaguely entertained the idea of going to the Aussie Bloggers Conference until I remembered the neurologist's appointment later this month which we have to pay for and then scaring up an adolescent psychiatrist.
Which also hits the hip pocket if we have to go private to actually see someone before the next millennium.
So....bras.
When I find one that fits, is comfortable enough not to cut off my lung capacity nor draw blood from chafing, then I kinda fall in love.
Remember, I've been indulging in the comfort food so I'm not exactly a tiny slip of a thing that can get away with a pair of hankies and some shoe laces; at the moment there's a division between the 14GG or the 16DD bras, some of the latter which gives me a bust like Sabrina (except not the wasp-like waist. Who do I sacrifice for that?!).
Now, I've either lost a shedload of weight up top or I've over-stretched the back strap on my favourite 16 DD as I'm down to the last hook-and-eye set and shifting the shoulder straps.
*sigh*
It's days are numbered.
I'll have to slot a new bra somewhere in between medical, medicine, footy fees, utility bills and the dreaded possibility of new footy boots for this year *shudder*.
Size 13 - 14 footy boots and 14GG - 16DD bras...big aint always best!

Groundhog Day/time loop...shoving shyte uphill like Sisyphus

2011-01-04T21:14:00.000+11:00

Sorry, Sisyphus only shoved a great thunderingly huge rock, not shyte.
Bet he wished he shoved shyte, instead.
I digress...
I get to experience a time loop each.and.every.single.fecking.day.
Think of it as Groundhog Day, repeating the same shyte over and over and over and over ad infinitum.
Until you finally correct your mistake (Groundhog Day film) and then time advances forward in a normal fashion once more.
Or, if you're lucky enough to be me, it doesn't.
You're stuck with the same thing happening over and over and over and over again ad infinitum.
Or until I drop dead.
That's if I'm allowed to die.
Could turn out to be one of those computer games where the damn characters get a bazillion lives to be smooshed, mauled, crashed and splattered any which way you can imagine.
So, do I try to change things to prevent the repetition? (I'm asked by well-meaning-but-brain-dead-people who don't know the difference between your/you're and smell of cod liver oil).
Why, golly gosh, that had never crossed my mind at all.*rolls eyes*
Yes, sarcasm, it's often wasted on these people as they don't recognise it unless they're slapped in the face with a wet fish and even then some are iffy.
Have I tried asking the Aspie teen what causes his fury? (Again, the imagaination of these twits knows many boundaries). *more wild eye rolling*
Have we tried medication/diet/exercise/running away to a circus?
No, although we pursued many meals of wild thistles sprinkled with imported free range slugs raised solely on organic strawberries and gooseberries whilst washing it down with jellied eels, sauteed worms then licking the back of a cane toad for recreational purposes.
And that was just for my father.
So, the time loop/Groundhog Day goes on....every day of 2011 so far.
I'm determined to find something decent in this year (typed through gritted teeth) even if I have to choke the living shyte out of this fecking 12 months and kick it to the kerb when it's replacement shows up in 361 days.

Battle of the Blogger Butts - new challenge, have a go!

2011-01-04T11:52:00.001+11:00

Well, I think the above is pretty evident I'm on a weight loss kick.
Again.
Not that I've actually been off a weight loss kick but with so much support and encouragement from other blogging gals I hope to be able to shift some weight and keep it off.
I eat healthy, we all do, but there are times when a day has been just too freaking exhausting or I'm in brain fartage overload and I do the whole comfort food thing.
Cos I can.
Cos when each day slides into the next like Groundhog Day with Aspie teen's anger, fury and, overall, disappointment tainting every.single.thing with bitterness, the whole comfort food thing seems pretty harmless.
Until the scales start screaming in protest and the XXXL clothes are snug and you don't recognise yourself in a shop window...then the whole bitter disappointment thing starts up again and the comfort food seems so innocuous...
With optimism of a brand new year buoying me up I'm hoping to carve some of the beef off this carcass.
Although I'd love to I'm not attending the Aussie Bloggers Conference like most of the others taking on the Battle of the Bloggers Butts (too much hassle with Aspie teen, my vision and Meniere's Syndrome) but I hope I can offer support and encouragement to the other gals embarking on this challenge.
Go check it out HERE, give it a go, heck what have any of us got to lose except some unwanted weight?!

Woot, we've almost slayed this beastie, let's line up the new one!

2010-12-30T17:41:00.000+11:00

The insane festive season is almost done and dusted.
Give me a Hell Yeah!
And a high five.
And a hammock, foot massage, maybe a neck rub and a tall, tanned piece of eye candy to peel me a grape.
Aspie teen has had a few ups and downs but it is sooooooo much easier staying away from the insanity, not dragging him into the maelstrom, even avoiding big family gatherings.
It's just too cruel to make him deal with large amounts of people en masse then wait for the expectant meltdown afterwards.
Which involves a lot of broken things and pain for the parental units here, not to mention the stress and headaches all round.
And even more knocks to the poor kid's self-esteem which he doesn't need.
He catches up with rellies at quieter times and in smaller groups, leaving everyone with much happier memories and experiences.
We managed to hit Dunolly before Chrissy and saw the fab street decorations with the trees lit up in solar-powered fairy lights, shop windows brightly coloured and private gardens flickering with pretty lights in the pitch dark, which helped calm Aspie teen as he loves his home away from home.
As the Myer windows are unveiled and the Myer street parade takes the masses to the streets - we take to the road and head for the hills....of the Great Divide and beyond!
So, tomorrow night will be another quiet one for us all as we potter about and cheer in 2011 in our own fashion.
And probably explore a shedload of audiobooks from Yarra Plenty Library to celebrate!

Another year down, only 40 bajillion to go

2010-12-26T18:22:00.000+11:00

In looking back over 2010 I'm struck by a few things.
That a few in-law rellies, who previously ~~laughed~~ shrugged off Aspie teen's Autism and Aspergers were forced to confront it a little closer to home in their own beloved grandchildren.
But when they shared the diagnosis with me I unintentionally gave them the cold shoulder they'd given me.
Because I was/am exhausted.
I admire those who have been on this journey for years, decades, and still find the energy to help, educate, assist others who are new to this road we all walk.
But as I've been forced to rely on no one else but myself and the Spouse I've had to direct my energy towards my own son and this is where I'm at, tired and unable to summon up much more than sympathetic noises for the rellies.
They probably think I'm a rude cow but, meh, I cannot give them what I do not have.
I bought a monthly magazine which had a tea towel with the classic slogan "Keep calm and carry on".

It's pinned up on my kitchen wall as my new motto, a reminder to not get upset, to not react, to stay burbling under the surface and appear ~~heavily sedated~~ serene to all.
Now that we finally have assistance with Aspie teen I'm able to relax a little and not be hypervigilant because, at long last, someone is listening.
It is such a huge weight off my shoulders, I feel I can keep calm and carry on into the New Year!
Although....if I seem too sedated just nudge me with your foot, 'k?

As we launch ourselves towards 2011, I wish each and every one of you lovely people the very best that the future has to offer and as few bumps in the road towards your goals.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello and thankyou!

2010-12-21T16:57:00.001+11:00

Hello my uber-sexy readers!
We are still alive although I have nfi how what with the sheer insanity of Silly Season shopping (I want it! I must Have IT NOW!!! Gimme Gimme Gimme! Getouttamyway!).
Yeah, friggin' insane.
We are getting some suggested strategies on handling Aspie teen with his quirky behaviour.
I say quirky with a slightly hysterical giggle as there's all sorts of things rearing their heads in his behaviour of late - increased Tourette's grunting, humming, lining his toys up again, scratching and cutting himself (hell-lllloooooo) mishearing conversations/hearing auditory comments no one has made (hell-llloooooo, again) being ever so slightly paranoid and thinking we're out to get him (yeah, I can hear what you're thinking from this distance) as well as the usual suspects of needing routine, guidence, yada, yada, yada.
So.
We've been disappearing up the Calder Highway to our favouritest little country town for some mental relief for the geek kid; he can relax, there's no stress, no threat, in fact he walked to the shops TWICE on his own from the caravan park, approx. 1 km round trip.
Yeah, a massive humongous thing cos this 14 year old hasn't got that much courage or road safety to cross the road here in Melbourne (too stressful and ramps up his anxiety) whereas he knows cars stop at the pedestrian crossing and he can see what traffic there is for miles up the road.
He's started a small dig on our land where he's found a shedload of pottery, bricks, mudbricks and a large piece of dressed stone.
He lurves his archaeology.
We inquired at the local historical society but they haven't much in the way of info on our land although they are fabulous and are searching through their records.
We'll be parking ourselves at the dining table for Chrissy Day and probably disappearing up the Calder Highway again in the New Year to get Aspie teen away from the hyped up stress and into his archaeology dig.
Merry Christmas to you all, you wonderfully supportive people xxxxx

Who am I again?

2010-12-07T12:23:00.000+11:00

Just checked the date on my last post - it's been awhile.
I've been babbling on my history blogs and whatnot but things have been a bit egg-shell-like here with feral Aspie kidlet.
He's been ok, generally, but his sad moments are getting more and more prevelant.
Trotted him off to the GP for a referral to headspace and, surprise, surprise, he also diagnosed mild depression.
I'm not surprised, really, it goes hand in hand with anxiety and Aspie teen has always been one to beat himself up (verbally) when things go wrong even when he is clearly not at fault.
So.
I've got to organise an appointment with headspace, fill in the reams of paperwork I was sent for disability behaviour assistance, trot off to my hospital appointment today (cos I'm going deaf as well as blind, oh joy), deal with my elderly father who is revelling in his second childhood and somewhere try to relocate my sanity in amongst the madness of Baby Santa Grilled Cheezus Season.
Aspie teen finds sudden huge obstacles in his way and literally cannot move to do something - like washing his hands, locking his chooks up, turning on the TV, etc.
You get the picture, mundane, everyday little things that we don't think twice about.
But he goes to do them and suddenly he's shaking or in tears or both or keening a high pitched noise and can NOT explain what is wrong or what is stopping him from finishing his action.
His anxiety is growing out of all proportion and we're only able to give him support, cuddles and plenty of love.
Thank goodness others have been through this before and we will be able to get help from headspace as well as other people.
Now.
Where is my sanity again....?

Bye Bye Homeschooling

2010-11-24T11:16:00.000+11:00

Homeschooling is now a thing of the past in this house.
We've done it for 4 years and it was the best thing for our child for that time.
But.
Once he started Uni last year the genie was out of the bottle and it's been difficult to get him to settle back into homeschooling while he's taken a break from Uni.
And while his anxieties have climbed sky high.
The battles over schoolwork are just.not.worth.it.
So, we're hoping to enroll him in Distance Education Centre for next year.
He needs someone, other than myself, teaching him.
I'll be able to guide and support him at home but as a parent, not mum-teacher-lecturer-curriculum maker-excursion planner-person-to-argue-semantics-with all rolled into one.
Homeschooling is great; we are so lucky here in Victoria we are able to have that option to explore for our children when other mainstream schooling options are not suitable, but people change and Aspie teen has grown, matured and his needs are now different.
Like all things in life nothing is forever and this is the end of a chapter in our lives but also the beginning of another, newer, one next year.
Now we just need to fill in a bajillion forests' worth of paperwork and get things organised for him to be enrolled!

Gluten free flat bread to use for GFDF Summer pizza!

2010-11-17T15:07:00.000+11:00

Have been pottering in the kitchen and all over the shop but I've been meaning to share this recipe I threw together the other week for Aspie teen, GF flat bread.
Now, it's not as flexible as the store bought stuff so it's really only good for using as a pizza base.
Summer Pizza in this house is something the geek kid has come to love since he learnt how quick, easy and UNstressful it is to make.
The base is just

1/3 rice flour
1/3 tapioca flour
1/3 corn flour
a teen tiny sprinkle of salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
a tablespoon of oil
approx. 1 1/2 cups of water

Mix, then pour into HOT and oiled frying pan, making sure the mix spreads out without clumping up in the edges.
Flip after a minute or 2 - keep your eyes on it as it's THIN and will burn easily.
Once thoroughly cooked, set aside to cool, the mix should make approx. 4 flat breads depending on size of pan.
A Summer Pizza is a light snack that won't heat up the kitchen on hot Summer days but will let you indulge in a pizza hankering.
You lightly oil a frying pan (very lightly) then smear tomato paste over flat bread base (this can be done with any mountain/pita bread GF or otherwise) then assemble all the toppings of choice on pizza.
Heat frying pan, then add pizza to pan, putting lid on and waiting approx. 3-5 mins until it's finished.
Remember - this is thin based so you need to keep an eye on it so it doesn't burn.
Remove from pan, cut and enjoy.

Borderline, feels like I'm going to lose my mind.....thanks, Madge

2010-11-14T17:55:00.000+11:00

I'm having a brain fartage weekend where the grey matter has apparently gone on holiday without me.
Got a question, though, to ask all you lovely readers -
Where does autism stop and mental health begin?
Cos I get the whole anxiety disorders, OCD et el are part and parcel of the Spectrum - heck, the level of extra bonus' offered on the Spectrum you'll never see at David Jones or Myers - but where/when exactly does it become mental health?
I ask as a disability service stated they didn't cater for mental health issues, only disabilities.
You and I could sit here until the cows come home discussing how mental illness can be a disability in itself but autism is clearly defined as a 'disability' and a 'mental illness' in some circles.
Soooooo....how abouts them OCD quirks? Disability?
Nahhhhh.
Anxiety higher than the Great Wall of China (and better at keeping rabbits out)? Disability?
Nope.
These aren't disabilities in themselves until they grow to the point where they block activities of daily living.
But they are quite readily found, and accepted, on the mental health side of the ledger.
Autism isn't classed as a mental illness yet it's catered for in many such areas as Child and Adolescent Mental Health service, Mental Health Australia, etc.
Some ASD specific places encourage the implementation of a mental health care plan.
So....when does Autism cross the border into mental illness and when do we get the memo that the whole stigma of mental illness is behind us?

Floggin' Frugal Friday Post

2010-11-12T15:58:00.000+11:00

No photos, sorry, I'm battling a broked computer and have snaffled Aspie teen's laptop, so bear with me.
Now, Frugal Friday!
I bought these the other day and saved them just for this post - some op shop finds to lessen my carbon footprint.
For Aspie teen there were 3 brand new books in the Santa Paws series - Santa Paws, Santa Paws Saves The Day and The Return of Santa Paws.
Just to balance out the feel-good warm fuzzies he found a video copy of The Nightmare Before Christmas which had him chortling with glee.
For the rest of us we found some fabulous BRAND new, never been opened Chrissy decorations (silver and purple tree decorations) still sealed in their packets and 3 sets of battery operated lights, also brand new.
Each cost us $2 each, while the video was 99 cents.
The last few Xmas' we've found some wonderful old vintage decorations, some collectables, for a pittance at the op shops.
Instead of buying up each year, go have a gander at your local second hand shop and consider shrinking your carbon footprint at a time of the year when most people go nuts with too many of everything.

The Rules.

Follow my blog, the Random Ramblings of a SAHM. I never seem to get to reading all the links here. But believe me, I try. Not that any of this is my idea anyway- FYBF is MummyTime's brainbaby. I stole it.

Grab the bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.

Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL of your post or blog.

Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post. .

Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the love).

The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well).

A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.

And lastly, have lotsa fun. I mean it. If I detect anyone not totally loving the awesomeness, I will bump you off the linky list. (Joking) (Kinda).

Geek kid alert

2010-11-08T22:41:00.000+11:00

Hi-de-ho, yo sexy Mums of all kidlets!
Nah, she's not getting all creepy and crap, we need to praise the carers... cos we're the ones who cop the flack so let's cop some slack ;)
Had a fab meeting with the Paediatrician of Wonderful, who assured me Aspie teen will only tower over me a little (I'm 5ft 9) and he estimates he'll hit the 6ft 3in mark sometime in the future but we're happy to wait for that to come along.
I gave Aspie teen his laminated schedule and asked him to pick out at least one thing each day he wanted to keep, as we're re-evaluating everything to give him more down time to de-stress and off-load his anxiety.
So far, he's picked maths (text books), maths online and by email, science (text books), science online and by email, art, history, geography, culture and homeschooling excursions.
Yeah, he's ditched all the fiddly fun stuff, typical Aspie *snort*
Then promptly checked out the Open University units he'd like to do next year and followed it up by making a bajillion Lolcats.
We popped into the local library tonight where we bought a shedload of books, many near-new for 50 cents each - our library culls its books and sells them off regularly.
A book Aspie teen almost threw himself on to grab is a beauty The Physics of Atmospheres.
Yeah, 50 cents.
He's a happy lil camper but, almost as important, so is his mother's hip pocket!

Meanwhile, back at the insect wrangling ranch....

2010-11-05T11:59:00.000+11:00

So far, so good.
Shhhh!
Don't speak too loudly but, while there are still a few small hiccups in behaviour (c'mon, let's face it, there are NO magic bullets in medicine), Aspie teen is getting engaged in schoolwork and activities again.
I've used this handwriting worksheet generator numerous times over the years and I've found it to be great; you can print sentences that are all about the child, rather than bland "The ladybird slaughtered the whole herd of aphids on the roses".
Which really grabs their attention from the start.
Problem was, though, that Aspie teen wasn't able to stay focused or retain any of the cursive practice as he couldn't see the point of it all.
Today, I explained that it was similar to him not crawling, that it was a necessary milestone he needed to go back and complete to get the wiring in his brain into gear.
This really helped him zero in and make the effort, finishing 4 worksheets quickly but tidily.
Oh, I forgot to mention - the worksheet generator now prints paragraphs instead of just sentences or words, so you can make more of a mark with the kidlets.
Another thing we've got him making is an insect box, like this one here.
For a few years now we've umm-ed and ahh-ed about getting a bee hive, or even a native (sting-less) bee hive but either we're too close to other neighbours or the climate isn't right for the native bees, yet we do have some native bees in our garden.
So.
To encourage all manner of insects for pollination and pest control ("The ladybird slaughtered a whole herd of aphids on the roses") we're bunging together a fair few of these insect/bug boxes and slinging them all about the garden to get the buggies happy and happenin'.
Cos when the bugs are happy, so is the environment.
And so is bug-obsessed Aspie teen *snort*.

Get ready, get linky... flog!!

The Rules.

Follow my blog, the Random Ramblings of a SAHM. I never seem to get to reading all the links here. But believe me, I try. Not that any of this is my idea anyway- FYBF is MummyTime's brainbaby. I stole it.
Grab the bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL of your post or blog.
Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post. .
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the love).
The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well).
A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.
And lastly, have lotsa fun. I mean it. If I detect anyone not totally loving the awesomeness, I will bump you off the linky list. (Joking) (Kinda).

Medication

2010-11-04T12:01:00.000+11:00

Poop hit the fan majorly yesterday.
For no reason.
Well, no reason that anyone could ascertain.
Aspie teen was burbling along as happy as a pig in poop, then he started getting silly, giggly and hyperactive (a usual warning sign of an impending crash, not necessarily a food reaction) then, just as fast as blinking, he started grunting and demanding my hand to drag me goodness knows where.
I'm sorry, I was in the middle of cooking lunch for my Dad and could not blithely follow off to wherever he wanted to drag me.
I did ask.
A bajillion times, in a quiet, calm voice.
He grunted just as many times back.
I kept asking him to use his words, to no avail.
Then he started grabbing at me in a rough manner, hurting me, just as I was serving up hot food so his father stepped in to stop him.
That's when crap hit the fan.
That is our usual pattern around here; grunting, lack of words, something (who knows what!) sets off the anxiety to skyrocketing heights and we become punching bags.
There are holes in the walls again, his father is covered in bruises but the ambos took him straight to the Children's and he was seen, dealt with effectively and given medication.
He's back on an anti-psychotic.
Not because he's psychotic or having psychotic episodes but to boost his usual anti-anxiety medication to smooth out the emotional rollercoaster he's on.
He's been on the anti-psychotic before, years ago, when he first got funding for his integration aide in the school; it does help but after a few years it was having no effect.
By the way - the ONLY reason he got funding for his aide was due to his violent (anxiety-driven) behaviour NOT due to his autism.
That seems to be the pattern - something works for a while then it stops.
I have no idea if it's that his anxiety climbs up and over the wall of that particular med or he becomes immune to it but we've been on a minor (compared to others) roundabout of meds which his paediatrician has tried to avoid.
But he's almost 14 and he's a strong boy; he is a dear, darling person who is riddled with MASSIVE anxiety which is currently the controlling factor in his life.
He needs help to take control back and let his beautiful self shine through again.

Pizza with a slice of Bones

2010-10-31T22:45:00.000+11:00

We're playing diversional therapy tactics here at the moment, come on down and join in, too!
This is the game where you find something your Aspie kid enjoys and you plan an outing around that activity each.and.every.single.day.
Yes, it gets to be a hard slog after a while with the "OMG can't I have just one day at home to dig holes and slosh mud around my feet or something stupid?" jumping up and hitting you between the eyes.
Cos Dad is hard yakka and all Aspie teens need a break from watching their grandparent die or slide down the indignity ladder just that little bit further.
So, this week was History Week and he trotted off with his Daddykins on several tours which he loved plus a talk from some authors at the State Library.
Then I put my foot down and insisted that I get a day out on the final tour, which happened to be a really freaking fantastic one run by the Professional Historians Association (of Victoria) in which I really didn't want to go home but wanted to be adopted as the Association mascot and housed in the shoebox in the bottom of the cupboard...or something but, meh, we got there in the end.
Aspie teen has been learning to cook this week, also.
Which has done nothing for my blood pressure ("I said chop it quickly not to stop, introduce yourself leisurely to the capsicum and invite it over for a game of Battleship!" "What do you mean, you can't find your swimming goggles to chop the onions? Use nekkid eyes and live a little!") but it's been fab watching him sparkle as we play piggy-wiggy-woo over his results and praise him to the heavens, especially the pizza tonight.
Yeah, dad prefers his tinned baby food - the dietitian said it's cool - so we get his rations.
Let him watch Bones tonight for the first time - he's such a bloodthirsty little critter we didn't want to encourage his bent for blood letting - but he's up on the *forensic science and was quoting stuff along with the characters then giving us the full explanation.
Spooky, Mulder!
*If I'm found in the cabbage patch with obvious blunt trauma injury it won't be Aspie teen as he's got much more thorough ideas of disposing of a body....
Anyway, he and Dad are listening to the very final CD in the Mystery of a Hansom Cab audio book, which they've been hanging to hear, so shhhhhhhh.

We breathe. Just.

2010-10-25T18:12:00.000+11:00

Another few days and another few bajillion meltdowns.
Yes, we're seeing the psychologist and, yes, we're doing as she suggested but these meltdowns are coming thick and fast, faster than before, and the screeching, grunts, hand flapping, tip-toe walking and ticcing is getting worse.
So.
Just as well we did warn the new neighbours about him losing the plot; it's become a regular thing ...go introduce yourself to the new neighbours and warn them that you really aren't making sacrifices at the full moon each month, it's just the feral offspring having yet another meltdown.
Oh, and ignore the swearing, we'll try to keep it to a minimum.
Although it can be very cathartic to let rip.

My beautiful, clever and cheeky boy breezed through his maths, literature and science this morning, slipped in a meltdown of medium proportions before heading out to an historic tour of the Royal Melbourne Hosp as part of History Week.
Had a wonderful time, took many notes, came home and promptly imploded from stress and anxiety.
Going grey and borrowing the Tourette's to let rip?
Why, yes.
Yes, I am.
Join in with me and you, too, can enjoy the soul-reviving pleasure of screaming swear words at the heavens.
No?
Ok, that'll just be me baying at the moon, then *snort*.

I haz me a gifted kid. snort Who knew???! * wildly rolls eyeballs around the room*

2010-10-20T22:40:00.000+11:00

Well, we've been up and down like a yo-yo with Aspie teen.
It's been ok, mostly stressful but he's more upset rather than us.
Except for my specs that became a statistic in a battle but, meh, it's fixable.
Like the plaster walls.
He's been assessed, again, and surprise, surprise!
He's got a very high IQ, still.
Gee, really?
Would never have thunk that one, what with his uni studies and stuff.
But, he's also definitely got an auditory processing issue happening which is short-circuiting his short-term memory when it comes to auditory stuff, again underlining how he's a visual learner and how he pictures his ideas/projects, etc, in his mind.
Couple that little baby up with his colour-blindness, photo-phobia, highly sensitive hearing and sky-rocketing anxiety levels and you get a time bomb going off at Every.Little.Thing.
So, not only does he get psychedelic colours that make no sense flashing at him (now that Winter is over and the traditional Melbourne Black is put away for another brief warm period) he gets overly LOUD shrieky garbled babble thrown at him.
And then you chuck in his ADHD, Tourette's, the OCD and every other bit of crap he's got going on in his DNA soup and you get a very clever, gifted but confused person.
One thing I was really freakin' happy about, though; a teacher had taken great pleasure in harping at him for a full school year on how he was the lowest of the shit pile when it came to maths after doing his grade 3 Naplan test.
He's since blitzed through maths, high school maths and many of the curly nuts and bolts of maths but he still thinks he sucks at it.
The psychologist got him doing mental arithmetic and then the psychologist hammered home today the fact that he's great at maths and for once he's finally listened and believed.

Aspie teen and his Pa

2010-10-14T11:13:00.000+11:00

When Aspie teen was little my Mum died.
This totally shattered his world as she was the one and only person he'd tolerate cuddling him, singing to him, feeding him, etc.
When she died he turned to the other favourite person in his life, my Dad.
Dad helped take him to creche and kindy, he walked him to and from school at times, Aspie teen proudly showed off his Pa at assembly for Anzac and Remembrance Day.
Aspie teen was bursting with pride and excitement to be included each year in the tradition of marching with his Pa in the big Anzac March in the city, from when he was still little in a stroller.
Pa has always bought him those little extra treats like the odd chocolate, books, colouring books, clothes, novelties, nick-nacks, etc.
They had their bond, that something special between grandparent and grandchild.
And now Pa is dying.
Aspie teen is seeing his grandfather's whole persona changing, from the easy-going, laid back joker to a crabbed, pain-filled wizened little being with permanently blue hands and feet.
He's seen Dad change from an upright, healthy, relatively independent man who would eat anything to a shrunken shadow of himself being spoon-fed pureed food and wearing adult nappies.
While we've been warning Aspie teen for ages that Pa is old and unwell it's not until this moment that it's struck home just how sick he really is.
Every day, each hour, is a bonus.
Embrace your loved ones while you can xxxx

Back again

2010-10-10T21:12:00.000+11:00

Dad is back home and Aspie teen is more settled albeit more clingy.
Thank goodness we've come a long way since he was in mainstream school with his integration aide; we are able to discuss the future of his grandfather's health with him plus he's able to spend extra bonus time with Dad being at home.
Some things about nursing Dad at home are perfect life lessons Aspie teen could read about but have little understanding until it's unfolding right under his very nose. Hopefully these are helping cement the foundations for him to follow in how to care for the elderly/infirm in his future.
He's so happy with his Silkie hens, they are another learning curve for him and he's spreading his wings a little in his new role of responsibility. They've imprinted with him as their parent and answer to their names when he calls them. The fluffy little mop tops are so sweet and cute; they have cheeky little personalities which make them appear as silly haughty madames strutting about in the Victorian era in their finery.

They are both a great distraction and a grounding mechanism to keep him focussed in this sad time.
We have no idea how long Dad has but each day is a bonus so we have to strive for positive thinking and keeping our chins up which is difficult for a teen at times.
The 2 cases of young teens being sprayed with capsicum spray has certainly grabbed his attention; his parents warning him was one thing but the police actually using it on kids his own age has given him a bit of a wake up call.

He's off for an EEG this week and still banned from bicycle riding due to his slow reaction times. He missed his first cricket match of the season as we were tied up at the hospital (almost but not quite literally in that sense) but he took the disappointment ok, only a few mild Tourette's grunts and tics.
We'll be reviweing Aspie teen returning to Uni study soon, too.
He has asked many times and loves the uni subjects, we'll just take it slowly to see what subjects are on offer (in his preferred field of study) and what really catches his interest (even those outside of his subject area).
Maybe a better time for him to start again, we'll see.

You're doing who or what where and when?

2010-10-05T18:47:00.000+11:00

com·mu·ni·ca·tion

The act of communicating; transmission.
1. The exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing, or behavior.
2. Interpersonal rapport.
From Answers.com

We will, for the moment, ignore the sadly ineffectual communication between nursing staff involving my Dad and concentrate on communication with our beautiful ASD kids.

Whisper.
Curiosity killed the cat, so the old wise chickybabes would have us believe, and every.single.child on this planet is curious.
They want to know what the heck you're saying.
And if you're not playing the let's-scream-louder-and-drown-out-mummy's-Very-Important-Message game...the one where each gets louder and LOUDER and LOUDER until it's a screaming babblefest...then you're breaking the rules!
Whisper.
If they can't hear you over their screeching, they will shut up.
Sometimes, a certain mother (not looking in the mirror) used to mouth her words making no sound whatsoever.
And when their voice is stopped = your message is allowed through.
Worked roughly 8 out of 10 times.

Do not make eye contact.
This is a biggie, particularly in smaller children, where there is this huge impression of goodness knows what lurking in peoples eyes and when they look at a person it's a massive overwhelming feeling of their soul being taken.
Aspie teen still has moments where he asks me to look at the ground; he identifies with Indigenous Peoples who believed that cameras would steal their souls, and that the eyes were the windows to the soul.
It's a major scarey thing for someone to look directly at ASD kids.
And to insist on them making eye contact...!
Do not make eye contact.
It will also ensure only one sense is being called into action, that of hearing, as using several senses together can collide and not only give mixed signals but it increases anxiety and overwhelms ASD kids with too much info.

Do not change your clothes drastically.
This is more for smaller children, as they get the willies up if their parents' outer skin (clothing) changes drastically overnight (colour/style/texture/laundry powder scent, etc) the kids have to work hard for the better part of the day to figure out if you're who you think you are and not some alien being impersonating their parental unit.
Hence, unexplained hostility, meltdowns, rejection, etc.
Do not change your clothes drastically, especially in the middle of the day or if you can, show your old clothes to your child.
This also covers the huge meltdowns ASD kids go through when you're trying to peel the dirty/sodden/stinking clothing from their wriggling bodies while they're screaming the house down - they think it's supposed to hurt as it's part of their 'skin' (like haircuts).
Plus you're changing the sensation on their skin.
*This also holds for hairstyles, spectacles, facial hair on men, jewellery, etc.

Talk quietly and give plenty of warning.
Break down a period of time and give the children fair warning of when something is going to happen.
IE 'when this show is over' means nothing as kids often have poor concept of what time actually is.
Get an egg timer and an old analogue fashioned clock and tell them "When the big hand is here and the little hand is here, we will get up and do such and such".
Use the egg timer to show them how small periods of time count down, set it for 5 mins and show them on the clock, then show them the passage of time on both egg timer and clock once the alarm goes off.
Talk quietly and give plenty of warning.
Even when the excitement and anxiety begin building over the suggestion of change, stay quiet, calm and serene, remember to whisper to bring the volume back down again, also do not make eye contact in anxious moments, and remind them of the time counting down until something is going to happen.

Break everything down into short, simple sentences/steps.
We are the ultimate computer at one end of the scale while our kids are at the other end, slowly building their mainframe.
We can absorb huge amounts of info at once, our kids cannot.
Too much overload and, like Windows 3.1, you get them crashing and giving you the Blue Screen of Death (stare).
"Get your blue jumper, put it on and put on your red gumboots" comes out of the processor as "bluered bootjumpers get put put put put" crash.
Break everything down.
"Get your blue jumper"
Wait for the blue jumper to reappear in their hands.
Praise them up.
"Put it on"
Praise them up, again.
"Now, find your red gum boots"
Wait for the gumboots to appear stuck on the ends of their hands and arms, wait til they put them on their tootsies.
Praise them big time.
And THANK the kidlet.
Make a big issue of thanking them for helping you.
Kids will go out of their way to gain praise from their parents and beam with pride when they know they've been helpful.
But break it down into short, simple sentences/steps so they can follow each direction and begin to formulate sequences for themselves.
You have to build the database slowly!

We're sort of still here

2010-10-04T18:49:00.000+11:00

Baby steps, baby steps.
A few minor, teeny-tiny blow ups quickly soothed and sorted.
Simple com-mun-i-cation.
Talk, talk, talk.
Taking everything back to basics, stripping all routines right back and scrapping daily habits.
In amongst it all cute, fluffy Silkie chickens caught his eye.
Sweet, docile and doting, they have Aspie teen up and out of bed early.
Yes, up and out of bed EARLY.
We've gone, not backwards but sideways, with tasks and goals; we get his brekkie instead of him but he's up and about early.
Now, touch wood, he's up and about between 7-7.30am.
And feeding his 'babies' himself.
And cleaning up after them, sometimes without needing to be told.
Shhh, don't you dare tell him these are 'independent'-type tasks.
Been holding myself together as Dad is still in hospital and failing both physically and mentally every day.
Yes, I get that he's elderly but to suddenly 'hit the wall' like he has while doctors are left scratching their heads looking for explanations is a bit tough.
Holding my shyte together so as Aspie teen doesn't lose his.
Cos he is close to it some days; an hour is all he can cope with watching his beloved Pa staring mindlessly at the TV or simply unable to keep his eyes open long enough to put his cup of sustegan back on the table. Sometimes he forgets he has a mouthful of food/drink and he just forgets to swallow then it seeps out of his mouth or he chokes on it, aspirating some into his lungs and brewing another possible chest infection.
But the speech pathologist says there's nothing wrong with his swallow reflex so...!
Aspie teen has been marvellous, sleeping a lot after visits that are stressful which I think is his downtime way of coping.
His sense of smell went off the scale yesterday; Spring and the doors were open airing the house out but every.little.scent had him screwing his nose up.
The lavender gives him a headache as does the daphne, jasmine and lilac, while he can tolerate the freesias and gardenias in small doses.
Just as well his mother isn't big on cut flowers in the house!

Grumble, grumble

2010-09-29T14:52:00.000+10:00

Have been playing the squeaky wheel that gets the oil with my dad's nursing/medical staff.
Yes, I got medieval on some of their asses but, amazingly, someone finally took notice of what I'd been saying.
Finally.
Only since Sunday.
But, hey, they can bury their mistakes.
And when he's out of that place I may post a rip-roaring critique of the pervading craptastic attitude towards basic communication.
Because, apparently, communication in nursing is soooo passe, some clock on to do their very minimum and are coated in teflon to avoid being responsible for anyone who is in their care.
But....enough of that for now.
Let's go play in the sunshine!

It's alive, I tell you! ALIVE!!!!

2010-09-28T22:23:00.000+10:00

I'm still alive!
Been a bit snowed under with Dad back in hospital, going up and down on antibiotics and oxygen like a rabid chipmonk on alcohol-soaked acorns.
Yeah, I learned my nature stuff real good from Chip 'n' Dale cartoons, didn't I?
Aspie teen has been managing so far, so good, touch wood, fingers crossed, toss the salt over your left shoulder.
He's been stressed at times but he stays focused enough to answer questions as we try to identify the irritation - tonight it was the fact he was expecting home made pizza I'd promised and I'd been caught up playing with the new chook, attacking housework and chasing therapists for Dad.
So, him and his palate were all angsty and ready for a hissy at the thought of vegies and rice and noodles!
I mean to say....!
What was I thinking *rolls eyes at self*.
So, we talked him down, got him to put his plate in the oven and make himself a liverwurst sanga.
Which is a win:win as he gets something he likes and he made his own food which is difficult in recent times.
He went to see The Wimpy Kid Diary movie today with his Aspie teen social group and really enjoyed it.
He's read the book and was happy with the movie so the producers need not fear any letters winging their way to complain long and loud.
Yes, that was sarcasm but he really would vent via email to Whomever Was Responsible.
Thank you to the producers for getting it right, it saved my ear being chewed off before yours!

Hope to be around to your blogs soon-ish :)
©

Let there be light

2010-09-21T21:48:00.000+10:00

Rang Autism Victoria and got some help at last!
Some plainly spoken, commonsense suggestions to help us navigate the maze of puberty and the spectrum with Tourette's, OCD, ADHD and Goddess knows what else the kid has on board.
Had some blunt conversations with Aspie teen, also, and sorted out a system for him to learn to recognise the stress indicators in his own body - like sweaty palms, toes/fists clenched, frowning, heart racing, breathing faster, snapping or speaking rudely, etc.
He claimed to know what the indicators are at first but when we sat him down and got him to discuss it properly he admitted that he didn't really know, that he just finds himself exploding without warning, scaring himself into the bargain which feeds his stress and anxiety even more.
He's a clever clogs and knows what the 'correct' or expected answers to most questions are so he rattles them off, yakking on about things that never happened, conversations that never occurred and events that are very different in everyone else's memory to that of his.
The 'correct' answers thing is ingrained from mainstream school where he wanted to fit in desperately so...you give the expected answer and fudge your way through so that you don't stand out, that you're the same as the rest of the herd.
Like claiming to know, at first, what the stress indicators are; he told me what he thought was the 'correct' answer and what he thought I wanted to hear rather than admit he was as lost as the rest of us.
He's gone from a great communicator to a kid who babbles incoherent prattle in the midst of a meltdown and who cannot remember clearly what happened.
Which is common.
He claims to remember - cos this is the 'correct' or 'expected' answer - but he has great gaps missing in his memory.
And It Is Common!!!!!!
The stress and anxiety that causes the meltdown feeds the fear and it continues to build - and not recalling all of it is very common due to the high anxiety levels, even in the aftermath when he might appear settled and calm.
Autism Victoria is a bloody wonderful body who have helped us out several times and may have given me a little bit of sanity back.

at·tri·tion ...A gradual diminution in number or strength because of constant stress.

2010-09-21T10:47:00.000+10:00

I'm exhausted.
We had a fabulous time away in Dunolly; went for a bushwalk, et some magical vanilla slices, tried the Aussie pizza at the fush 'n' chup shop (very nom-worthy) watched Midsomer Murders then slept like logs.
Had a lovely history tour with the local historical society, got to see some items pointed out to us that several locals admitted they'd sailed past many times without knowing the significance.
Also saw some lonely unknown/forgotten graves in the bush.
Really brought home how insignificant we are.
Then, Aspie teen slept the whole way home and promptly had a massive meltdown in which he smashed a few more holes in the plaster, his door and then wrapped an aluminum mop handle around his father's head.
We called the police.
We got, again, two wonderful cops who were just lovely; these gals have been out here before and spoke to him and got him to see that exploding like this is really unacceptable.
We chatted for a bit afterwards, they're happy for us to call them to calm him down.
Aspie teen apologised then explained he was feeling 'funny' about walking into the bathroom, that he thought he would be physically sick if he walked in there.
We asked him why he couldn't tell us that without launching his attack on the house and his Dad but he just didn't know.
He screamed in his sleep quite a bit last night, swearing and arguing with someone who was giving The Land of Nod a run for its money, and is sound asleep again on the couch after almost falling headfirst into his cornflakes.
And still we wait for help and answers....

Goin' up the country where the water tastes like wine

2010-09-17T18:25:00.000+10:00

The boy and I are running away for a night in magical Dunolly on Sunday.
We're booked into a history tour with the local historical society and we get to meet up with some fabulous people again.
Their immediate reaction to hearing that Aspie teen was Aspie was "Ok, cool, our minister has a son on the Spectrum, too. Want another home made cream cake?"
And a former school teacher was so excited to hear we were homeschooling, asking loads of questions, telling me how she thinks it's wonderful and a great way to teach kids.
Oooooooookay, completely arse-about reaction we get with a lot of people in the urbane city!
The magic of the country town is the lack of smog, lack of noise, no street lights (!), no constant rumble of traffic, streets so quiet we've spied kids playing street cricket and footy - something you so do not see in the 'burbs these days.
We approached the one and only pedestrian crossing and were a good 10 metres away from even stepping onto the crossing...but drivers slowed down and stopped in readiness.
OMG - old fashioned values!
Freakin' awesome!
Shop keepers made eye contact with a smile and remembered our names after one months gap in our visits.
No judgments, no pigeon-holing, just acceptance and friendliness.
Do we really have to come home on Monday....?

Back on the GFDF diet after a 48 hour fudge up

2010-09-16T19:35:00.002+10:00

The Aspie teen had begged and begged to go back on a 'normal' diet so we agreed to relax the gluten free rules.
Hmph.
Tuesday he bought a container of bikkies from a Large Supermarket Chain, plain with choc chips.
He went a bit aggro and was a bit babbly in speech although it (Thankfully!) didn't last long.
Today he bought another container of the bikkies except it was double chocolate choc chip.
And went to sleep, then very aggro, very babbly and really right off about anything and everything.
After about 40 mins it stopped.
But his ears!
They have always been a barometer of his food allergies and tonight they were glowing bright red, hot to touch and screaming like a fire alarm that he was having a probable reaction.

The flash has actually bleached a lot of the colour out as they are much darker in real life.
He apologised for his behaviour and listened to us when we pointed out his reactions to these bikkies, he listened to us when we read out the ingredient list and was quite surprised to see that colours and flavours were just some of the ingredients listed, along with the usual suspects of wheat and milk.
I reminded him that whenever us mums cook at home none of us reach for the flavours or colours, yet our baked goodies are still yum.
And he agreed that he really needs to be on the GFDF diet.
Small victories but victories nonetheless!

Now for Flg Ya Blog Friday!

The Rules.

Follow my blog, the Random Ramblings of a SAHM. I never seem to get to reading all the links here. But believe me, I try. Not that any of this is my idea anyway- FYBF is MummyTime's brainbaby, I'm just minding it for a bit.
Grab B's bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
Link your First Name and/or Blog Name and URL of your linked post (not your homepage) below.
Add a short description (max of 125 chars). It could be a description of yourself, your blog or a teaser to your latest post. But be warned, Mr McLinky List doesn't seem to groove on apostrophes, quotation marks, or other forms of punctuation. Use them at your own risk.
Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Be nice and spread the love).
The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (and for the foreigners Friday as well).
A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.
And lastly, have lotsa fun. I mean it. If I detect anyone not totally loving the awesomeness, I will bump you off the linky list. (Joking) (Kinda).

If ya don't eat ya don't shyte, if ya don't shyte ya die!

2010-09-16T16:12:00.000+10:00

My Dad, who lives with us, is very ill.
Apart from the fact he's just turned 87 and has many long-term health issues including Bronchiectasis, emphysema, Pulmonary Fibrosis and a hair cut he can't do a damn thing with, he's recently developed a delightful chest infection that is very clingy and needy.
Yes, it's good old Pseudomonas come to visit again, clinging on for dear life and needing another course of anti-biotics.
This visitor pops in at least twice during Winter, sometimes more frequently depending on how social Dad has been and dared to set his big toe beyond the front step of the house in the wheelchair.
Dad has also, of late, tried to stop eating to the extent he's now on mashed/vitamised food I end up spooning down his gullet.
Thick, rich creamy risottos with chicken, bacon, mushroom and leeks, chicken casseroles made with coconut milk, steak stews with bacon, mushrooms, vegies and whipped spuds with cream cheese. And when he doesn't eat brekkie weetbix thickens home-made soups brimming with vegies and fresh, fattening goodies but vitamised to get past his lips.
Oh, yes, I've turned into Delia for the debilitated, Nigella for the nursing home, Jamie for the geriatric.
Give me a piece of bread, a slice of tomato and a bent paper clip and you, too, can witness the MacGyver of the kitchen turn bollocks into a banquet!
Aspie teen, Hubby and I really like Dad's GP ; he's blunt, straight to the point and tells it as it is without any nonsense.
Several times he's told Dad to eat but today he was blunter than usual.
He told him that if he didn't eat he'd die.
Dad pondered it and replied,
"But that's going to happen sooner or later."
The GP shot back,
"In your case it'll be sooner rather than later. We could speak to a speechie about a naso-gastric tube...?"
Bless his little cotton socks, Dad has just cleaned up 3 pieces of toast.

The pleasures of meeting up with other ASD parents

2010-09-15T14:00:00.000+10:00

The Hubby, being on the Spectrum and all that, has slowly let drip bits of info from the Aspie teen social night that I obviously didn't cover in my direct questions.
*pause to roll eyes and snort*
Yeah, anyways, apparently he got talking with the other parents and wow!
Yes, all of their kids fight with their bedding in their sleep til it's in a ball.
Yes, all of their kids have messy rooms.
Yes, all of their kids sleep in their clothes.
Yes, all of their kids sleep curled tightly in the fetal position.
Yes, all of their kids do not make their beds or tidy their rooms...
Whoa!!!!
None of the Aspie kids clean their rooms, make their own beds or even change their bed linen.
Even though they all have OCD they cannot cope with breaking off their train of thought/routine or incorporating a plan of action into their activities that involves something as mundane as tidying/cleaning.
And none of their parents do it for them, either, unless it's to rake out the smelly bed linen and throw a clean set of sheets on the bed.
From a distance.
Wearing a Hazmat suit.
And having the full Silkwood anti-nuclear shower afterwards.
One mum, an old friend, joked how she almost goes A over T just walking through her son's room with all the power cords and stuff everywhere while another assured Hubby that her daughter's bed was a mess inside 5 mins of her making it and yet another laughed as she told how she learnt to never, ever, ever disturb the things in her daughter and son's rooms, that cleanliness was not worth the increased anxiety - for both her kids and herself.
So, not only do we no longer feel pressured to either tidy the room or somehow get Aspie teen to clean up/make his bed/wear pajamas (without copping a full-on meltdown) but Aspie teen is now happily grinning like the Cheshire Cat saying,
"I'm normal for once!!!!"

Junior Masterchef and the Aspie

2010-09-13T13:17:00.000+10:00

Of course all of Oz was glued to Junior Masterchef last night.
Weren't you?
Anyway, the Aspie teen, who used to cook bits and bobs after we'd explained cooking was a science experiment with the interaction of chemicals that tasted yum but lost interest after his head injury (hindsight is so 20-20, hmph) was glued to the show.
He commented more on the appearance of the kids, their parents and their names rather than what they cooked, at first.
Typical Aspie it was other things that grabbed his attention instead of the glaringly obvious ones, lol.
After awhile he got into the whole food thing, commenting that he had the same kitchen knife as one of the kids, that the oven settings intimidated him (after one boy set the griller instead of the stove) and he eventually picked up on some of the judges' facial expressions on what was a winner and what they really liked.
One thing Aspie teen was very impressed with was the good sportsmanship shown by the kids towards each other - how they helped each other reaching for ingredients, wished good luck/well done, shook hands, etc.
General overall respect shown to each other.
Was it edited that way?
Probably but heck, who cares!
It was a huge thing to Aspie teen; it modelled ideal behaviour we'd all like to see in all of our kids, it showed kids not afraid to play with home-grown science and maths experiments.
And another, important thing for Aspies - it encouraged him to try new foods!
He had some Baklava from a local, well-regarded cake shop Niko.
Cooking with Maths is a great book that helps combine food with numbers for younger students and gets smaller heads around the whole concept of equations with practical examples.
Another list of fun books to get kids cooking with maths and science is HERE.

When teen geeks gather in groups....

2010-09-11T13:27:00.001+10:00

Aspie teen joined a new social group for teens on the spectrum and wow!
He had a wonderful time :)
They met and chatted with Wendy Lawson, ate pizza, compared obsessions and plotted more LOLCats.
Apparently they yakked geek stuff for ages then they had to choose a group activity to do for next month, where they have to work together....yep, they're bringing their laptops and will be making a computer program to build computer games.
Ahhh, geek heaven!
Remember ....
Dr Sheldon Cooper is but one lab accident away from being a super villain!

GFDF Butterscotch Self-saucing pudd

2010-09-11T10:08:00.000+10:00

In a bowl mix 1 1/2 cups of gluten-free self-raising flour with 1/3 cup of brown sugar, 1 beaten egg, 1/4 cup oil, 1/2 cup soy milk and 2 tablespoons of Golden Syrup.
Mix well and spoon into greased baking dish.
If several dark chocolate drops happen to 'fall' all over the surface of the pudding, well....you'll just have to put up with them.
For the sauce, mix 2 tablespoons of corn flour in a bowl with 3/4 cup brown sugar - beat the lot together with a fork to remove any lumps which ensures an even spread.
Sprinkle the mix evenly to cover over the top of the pudding mixture, then drizzle 1.5 cups of boiling water over the back of a spoon onto the mix; this will stop the water carving great holey chunks in the pudd mix.
Bake in moderate oven for approx. 30 mins.
Serve hot with ice cream or whipped cream.
Have bib at the ready!

Gluten free Dairy free Cheryl's Chicken Cream

2010-09-11T06:57:00.000+10:00

This is a recipe a roolly cool chicky gave me the other night *waves to Cheryl*.
I've substituted 2 items to make it gluten and dairy free.
Braise chicken pieces/breasts til just golden, put aside.
In a pan toss finely chopped onion and a tablespoon of garlic (or less to taste), saute.
Then throw in either chopped choice of fresh vegies or frozen mixed vegies - they're all the same, really.
Then empty in 1 400/450gm tin of coconut milk.
Dissolve 1 Massel Vegetable stock cube in 200ml hot water, stir then add to pan, mixing thoroughly.
Season with pepper and whatever your tastebuds scream for.
Once the mixture is well heated through add the chicken pieces back to the pan, whack a lid on, turn the heat down and let simmer for about 15 -20 mins.
Then plate the lot up.

Fabulous workbooks for fabulous kids

2010-09-10T16:10:00.002+10:00

I was trawling through one of my favourite book suppliers websites yesterday when I found a new category titled "Special needs".
Obviously, I was off like a shot and happily sticky-beaking through the extensive list of books, delighted to find a series of books addressing Multisensory Learning which is ideal for those with all types of learning difficulties including dyslexia, ADHD and behaviour issues, not to mention the Spectrum.
Maths for Concrete Learners...c'mon, tell me the title didn't leap up at you, too!
The old Bard hasn't been forgotten in special needs teaching, either, with Specials Coursework Shakespeare.
How often do kids over the many generations trot out the old "I don't know why they're making us learn this cos I'll never use it in real life" when it comes to maths?
Try these Maths For Living series which includes Mathematics for the body or Mathematics Around the home, as well as others; then see if they don't use the maths in everyday life!
Just bought the Dinosaurs Downunder book for Aspie teen, to encourage him into text work again - he breezed through his first few pages, is looking forward to going back to check out the many other titles on the shelves.
My friend was overjoyed to watch her son, who had an auditory processing disorder and had many gaps in his learning at school, pick up so many missing pieces in the Excel workbooks.
He went from being in the bottom of the class with poor self esteem and no enthusiasm to even attempt schoolwork to completing almost a workbook each night after school and blitzing the other kids in the class within a few months.
Sometimes a different approach through these books can spark an interest in areas that were masquerading as little more than bones of contention to get our kids all angsty.

Mental Health Week 10th -16th October Info sessions

2010-09-10T07:56:00.000+10:00

Let's face it, boys and girls, ASD can often go hand-in-hand with mental disorders.
Just for that little bit more fun in our lives.
That extra sprinkle of goodness we can choke down along with our gluten-free cornflakes before we start the daily madness of running around to therapists and early intervention and speechies and sensory integration and drama and swimming and football and cricket and language classes and science club and gem club and and and....*splat*
For those in Victoria, Autism Victoria is running some information sessions on the relationship between ASD and mental health.
For details click HERE.
We shall be trotting along, at the request of Aspie teen who wishes to learn more.

Just stick your head in a bucket to listen to Brahms

2010-09-09T19:08:00.001+10:00

Well, the Aspie geeky one and I hit the historical society today but not before he completed some work online.
Walked into the kitchen to find him with the radio blaring 1940s tunes while he was bopping away, doing his Maths Online, with his lapidary ear-muffs on.
Ahuh.
Reason?
He loves old records - 45s, 33s, even 78s - and he loves the crackles, hisses and pops that come through the speakers, hence why he has roaring 40s music roaring.
Plus, music helps people study, focus, pay attention and it works for Aspie geek kid.
But the crackles, hisses and pops are just ever so slightly distracting to him while he's doing Maths Online (which has spoken instructions for each equation).
Sooooooo....the industrial ear-muffs he uses for his lapidary work were the perfect thing to block the crackles, hisses and pops without blocking out the rest of the music.
Makes sense to me!

The crystal ball is a tad fuzzy today

2010-09-08T14:36:00.001+10:00

Aspie teen wants to become a paleontologist and archaeologist, the path on which he was well set when the brain fartage became so bad he snapped and had to withdraw from his 6th university unit.
One of his many heroes is Dr Zahi Hawass, the legendary Egyptian archaeologist.
So Aspie teen was most impressed to see the new doco series following him around in his work Chasing Mummies.
The kid is a walking, talking encyclopedia on a myriad of subjects but dinosaurs, archaeology, cultures and old stuff are his specialty.
I just wish there was a way for him to achieve his dream without any further stress but at this moment we don't know if the meltdowns trigger the partial seizures (which doesn't involve dropping to the ground or losing consciousness but is more a blanked out moment like staring off into the distance) or if the partial seizures trigger the meltdowns.
The fact we can go for days on end asking him to do the very things that appear to cause meltdowns at other times tells me there's something more going on and the complex partial seizures is a good candidate.
We've changed his homeschooling schedule and have learned to make it flexible so that we can duck and dodge on the days he wakes up dopey and hungover when it's possible he's had partial seizures in his sleep; these are the days his temper is on an uber-short fuse and the meltdowns are on a have-one-and-get-another-30-for-free offer.
It's an offer we'd love to refuse, really!
He may be returning to cricket but not riding his push-bike there, he might like Halloween but he won't be trick or treating (I don't have an issue with it being "too American" as some parts of Australia were celebrating it before some parts of America but it's the whole fact that he looks like he's 18 and too old) and we've had the big discussion of him never driving a car.
Yeah, we've dropped the big one.
I brought it up carefully over several months and have had opportunities to point out how his reactions are too slow for him to safely drive a car and react in time in situations where he'd need to suddenly brake, swerve, etc.
I think he's accepted the idea of public transport for the rest of his life but it's even more underscored by the possibility of these partial seziures and how he can be unreliable taking medication.
Or he may take to riding a broomstick around archaeology digs like his mother!

Ssssssenses plus or minus the commonsense one!

2010-09-05T19:49:00.001+10:00

As I peck this out on the keyboard the Aspie teen is off in the city to a lecture with his Dad.
I won some tickets to a talk, part of the Melbourne Writer's Festival, on White Noise in a Networked World.
Science + history + lecture + digital + networking = right up Aspie teen's alley of interests!
Of course, when I complained about the 'inland moisture event'(you and I know it better as a big bloody storm) hubby leapt to the rescue of taking him in to the lecture.
Now, Aspie teen has had increased sensory sensitivity in the past 18 months, increasing to the point that he throws his arms out wide declaring
"I'm a tree! Hug me!"
To which we are expected to give him really tight squishy hugs.
Which he returns.
And almost busts our ribs.
Anywho, he'd been banging on about getting a Snuggie for almost a year when hubby snaffled him one at a local cheapie shop (plain blue, no faux leopard print in this house!) and Aspie teen has been in 7th Heaven.
Cos he can wrap it around himself tightly.
His sense of smell is so sensitive to the point he was refusing to have showers cos he was overwhelmed by the perfume of soaps/shampoo, toothpaste, etc.
We became somewhat sensitive to his particular smell but that's another tale *snort*
Same with his hearing - he's able to partially block out everything around him while out by playing his DS Nintendo (it's saved our sanity a bajillion times) but he can hear us speaking softly from several rooms away and he's become increasingly light sensitive to the point you'd describe him as photo-phobic.
Side-tracking here... he used to be on medication that made his eyes more sensitive to UV light leading to a higher chance of developing cataracts if he didn't wear sunnies while outdoors yet the school fought us on every attempt to allow him to wear them at recess, interesting to see SunSmart Victoria is now including it as part of the sun-smart clothing!
Aspie teen has often complained about white noise distracting and irritating him to the point he has a meltdown.
Not that he can pin-point that white noise is the cause, we have to work our way back through Every.Tiny.Little.Itty.Bitty detail and it's not something that used to automatically spring to my mind.
I'm so glad I live in this techno-savvy world where we can use hand-held computer games to block out irritants, use iPhones and iPads to help kids to communicate and where we're able to identify and recognise irritants like white noise whereas 50 years ago people would have been labelled insane.

He's now home describing the lecture, talking about a room in Cambridge University where it's minus 13 decibels and so noise dampened that you can hear your blood running through your veins, hear the electrical signals of the nervous system and your digestion!
Some people become so overwhelmed they can become nauseous, pass out or have audio hallucinations.
Yeah, how abouts we don't build one at home here?!@

I read the news today, oh boy, and are we in a pile of whoopsie!

2010-09-02T12:07:00.000+10:00

The news has been astounding us of late.
First there was the news Spring had sprung - which accompanied the news Aspie teen is probably having complex partial seizures brought about by being pushed off a trampoline in January last year but ....
SPRING!!!!
Means.... ~~never having to say you're sorry for blunting the hubby's razor~~ having to shave your legs.
Heck, it's log the new growth forest or listen to the other half complain that the prickly spikes are giving him paper cuts in bed at night.
Boo
Hoo.
We could try for secondary year growth but then we'd probably find infestations of mountain climbers having their wicked way with the hairy spikes and goodness knows where we'd end up if word got out to the Spelunkers about uninhabited caves....
The other major news which has turned our world upside down is....The True Identity of The Stig was revealed!!!!!!
Oh Em Gee.
WTF were they thinking, letting the bloke have a life outside of the BBC tv series?!
For goodness sake, were they mad???
Have they never heard of cages and padlocks????
Any dominatrix could have given them the good oil on the various restraints that are perfectly legal!
Next they'll be telling us Mr Squiggle is a puppet!
Or that Fat Cat had to pay to have His Friends!
And bugger me behind the shelter sheds, Nigel-no-friends....
Now they're teaching the kids that native Aussie fauna can't be gay.
When will this madness end?!

Looking into a mirror

2010-08-30T23:11:00.000+10:00

Watched the interview with Patti and Bert Newton tonight and I so identified.
I know how Patti feels angry at her son but the anger is masking the feeling of helplessness.
The same as Bert saying that they, naturally, love and support their son but in no way condone his actions.
I've been there - am still there, to some extent - with my daughter.
Like the Newtons we took our daughter, who'd had 'difficult behaviour' since toddler hood (read typical Aspie traits) to specialists who diagnosed depressive illnesses, possible bi polar, etc, etc, etc.
And y'know what I've been saying to the Other Half all weekend?
"I reckon it's the same as Female Offspring*, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. We knew and she knew everything that needed to happen but making her do it when she didn't want to was a whole different ballgame."
The Other Half grunted in agreement.
He grunts a lot.
He's economical like that.
So, seems we're all in the same boat.
Kids who, infinitely, think that not only did their generation invent sex but that mum and dad have nooooooo idea what they're banging on about in the back seat of the 57 Chevy.
Yes, Virginia, we know how to hide the frangers in the upholstery - we invented it.
Mirrors on the ceiling?
Our grandparents were doing that back in the 1920s.
Seems we're all chanting the same refrain - LISTEN to your parents.And if you don't want to listen to your parents then LISTEN to the specialists we drag you to.
Because your 30 bajillion 'friends' on MyFaceTweet sure as shit sticks to a blanket DO NOT have the freaking answers.
Really.
I'm pretty certain the only medical influence they got from their packet of cereal this morning involved choking the S bend.
I get that they have to make their own mistakes to learn from life, yada yada yada, but when they screw up their lives and then start screwing up things for people around them surely there's a voice inside their head saying
"Whoa! That line we should never cross is eleventy hundred miles behind us now... We've screwed up bigtime."
But it's not.
I think, sadly, Patti and Bert Newton are in the same place as thousands of parents have been; they aren't the first and sure as shit they won't be the last.
Let's hope every screwed up kid lives long enough to mature to the point they can accept their mental illness, that they can embrace the fucker and own it, rather than letting it own them.
Own it, name it and wear the badge with pride; don't hide the damn thing behind illegal drugs and drink.
This is 2010, FFS people, let's be open and honest about mental illness so that those diagnosed with it have not one freaking iota to feel the need to be ashamed.
And let's get a REAL mental health system in place, just for once, please?
*Names have been changed to protect the public from screaming cat fights

Domestic violence

2010-08-27T12:44:00.000+10:00

I'd like to send a big thank you to Matthew Newton.
Thank you, because everyone is talking about violence towards women.
Thank you, because everyone is discussing how it is still not taken seriously enough.
Thank you, because Aspie teen was watching The 7PM Project while they were discussing domestic violence.
Thank you, because he has recognised that he was hitting me in his meltdowns and has equated this as the same as domestic violence.
Thank you, because my 13 yr old Aspie kid has learned that it's not ok to hit women.
Thank you, because if this stops him from this behaviour now then it might stop him from hitting a girlfriend in the future.
I sincerely hope Matthew gets the help he needs and that his former girlfriend recovers quickly but if we can take something, anything positive away from this whole ugly, disgusting mess then it is that other young males get the clear message that it's not ok to hit women.

Sesame snap....now with dark chocolate nommy goodness

2010-08-26T13:37:00.000+10:00

I am rewarding myself with a most nom-worthy snack, Golden Days Sesame Snap.
With dark chocolate.
Nom nom nom nom nom.
Am I getting paid for this review?
Hell no, I'm just too happy to nom my way to happy with these babies.
Aspie teen has loved these since we managed to prise his jaws off the table leg and onto one of these - he particularly liked the black sesame seed one while he was at school but now he's discovered the chocolate one.
With dark chocolate.
And we all know that dark chocolate is very healthy for us.
So, besides the fact they're gluten free, come in packets of three that are perfect for school lunch boxes (or snacks at the computer) and taste delicious, what else is there about them that makes them so good?
The fact that they're available in most supermarkets without the need for parents to backpack to Outer Mongolia to get a refill.

Oh.
My packet is finished.
Think I'll have to get another.....

Babbling again

2010-08-25T11:02:00.000+10:00

Things are....normal, or rather our version of normal.
Which would probably still be hugely weird on the average person's scale of things, but meh.
He's off in Central Victoria with his Dad for a homeschool excursion; he gets to show his Dad the historical and salient points of interest, explaining the growth of the town, who lived where, what each building originally was, the train station, archaeological finds, museum and... you get the picture.
Just to clarify something Kelley mentioned yesterday about calling the ambos - yep, we've done that, twice and got nowhere.
First time we were actually seen in the hospital (may have been the police escort we had) where the registrar bent over backwards trying to get somebody - anybody - to even eyeball Aspie teen but no go.
Second time, after he'd wrapped a cord around his throat to choke himself, the ambos walked in, surveyed the debris of the trashed house, remarked "Oh, he's just had a tantrum," took us and the still stressed out kid to the hospital where we were told we'd have to wait for several hours (in a standing room only waiting room that stretched out into the car park) and even then they couldn't guarantee anyone would come down to see him.
So, both times we went home, exhausted and with nothing resolved.
Apart from the profuse apologies I received from On High after the 2nd effort.
I do not advocate calling the police but this has been the only thing that has shocked or 'bumped' Aspie teen out of his behaviour.
It's like he's a scratched record, once he gets into the groove of behaviour he can't get out of it and, like a record arm, has to follow the spiralling path around and around until the end unless something 'bumps' the record arm out of it's trajectory.
We tried an impromptu game of hide and seek in the middle of being battered and it worked for a little bit - but then he was back in the groove the moment the game ended.
Because, of course, if something happens even just once it's cast in concrete that that is the way things have to happen - whether it's him having to get a soy decaf when shopping, that he has to watch The Big Bang Theory (including repeats we've already seen) at the same time, same days every week, he's even become tuned to 'forgetting' his meds and delaying taking them so much he gets to the point where he does fall in a heap, like yesterday.
Hubby even mentioned a fab idea - that we need a friend at the local police station we can call for them to speak to Aspie teen (if we could get him to the phone), rather than drag them out.
I got no answers.
But I got bruises!
I can play 'let's compare war wounds' if you've got a spare couple of hours....?
Yes, I'm being silly cos I could bang on for days about how fucked our health, mental health and disability systems are and others have said it much more succinctly than myself, in fact they've been saying it for several decades now and the bastards still aren't listening.

Do ya wanna know a secret?

2010-08-24T17:37:00.000+10:00

Sorry for the silence but we've been away in Central Victoria and then Aspie teen crashed and burned today.
*sigh*
Yes, we have his schedule up on the fridge, we chant, mantra-like "Breakfast and medicine, breakfast and medicine" for a full 30 mins each morning as we nag the delightful kid to get out of bed.
Oh and by the way, before your own starts this trick... "I'm getting out of bed" isn't strictly the truth as 'getting' is an action word and there sure as heck on a broomstick aint no action from the prone kid under the doona.
So, yeah.
Forgot his meds this morning, despite constant nagging.
Lunchtime hit then everything slid into a heap of crap.
There was screaming, screeching, hitting, kicking, flailing of belts, locking us parents in the backyard, manic grunting and babbling and blah blah blah blah blah.
The usual broken record when he gets wound up with no getting off the merry-go-round until his anger runs out.
Called the police.
Yes, that's right, third time we've had the police out here for his meltdowns, thank flock we got two lovely blokes who asked me how to handle him, who talked him into sitting and talking to them and got him to see that his actions were causing crap.
Everything is back to our version of normal again, it's pissing with rain and all's right with the world.
Now, if you'll excuse me I'll just trot off for a close up with some paracetamol and Deep Heat cream.
Please don't give me sympathy, if you want to leave a comment make me laugh, dammit!

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick...tick...tick

2010-08-19T11:24:00.000+10:00

Aspie teen had no idea of time.
He can't 'sense' when time has passed while he's been reading or working on a project.
He can't look at the sky or the shadows and guess whether it's morning or afternoon, those little things around us that we pick up mostly without being told.
A friend of ours suggested an egg timer, a little $2 cheapie thing with one of those ear-piercing bell alarms that lets the whole world know you've over-boiled your eggs again.
So.
It worked for Aspie teen.
No longer did he park himself in the backyard for hours watching ants or prattle his "in a minute" when engrossed in a book/tv show/game.
We put the egg timer on his games when arguments ensued - 30 mins on the games and 1 minute less for each time he'd refuse to do something with the "In a minute" chant.
How often do we say that "In a minute" without any real intention of being literally just one minute?
To someone with no concept of what the value of a minute was this was just a throw-away comment.
Until those precious minutes started flying past on the egg timer - how often did we hear "That can't be right! I just started eating my dinner!" when we got tired of dinner being dragged out for 2 hours or "But that can't be 30 mins already!" when his gaming time was up.
Suddenly, he realised how quickly time was whooshing past without his noticing and when he's reminded of losing some of those precious minutes from his gaming time - whoosh!
It's amazing how quickly he gets a wriggle on these days!
Sure, it's not all sunshine and roses and we've had to incorporate a large-faced analogue watch for him to use (with much ~~nagging~~ reminding to wear it) as he's great with digital but analogue gives a more precise indication of time passing.
Look at a digital clock.
It's just numbers.
Look at an analogue clock face.
It's hands are a picture telling you how much time until the next hour.
You can count the 5 minute increments between the numbers, the value of a minute is right there staring you in the face and the movement of the hands gives you the underlying message that time does not stand still.
Aspie teen still isn't fantastic but he's better with time management, organisation and study.

I am soooooo bad at mummyhood

2010-08-17T16:20:00.000+10:00

I am such a horrid mummy.
I dragged my dear son to the op shop which he loves and bought him a long stitch kit for a measly $3.
Yes, I realise he's a boy and, no, I'm not having retro-post-natal-aspirations for my offspring's gender.
His fine motor skills need tweaking now and then; he burbles along quite well then something happens and I'll realise he's out of kilter - like a growth spurt has made his spatial awareness skew-whiff and he needs to relearn to adjust his personal space with his size 14 feet, etc.
So, yeah, yesterday we all discovered the fact he had nfi how to thread a needle.
~~Much angst and meltdowns and screaming, grunting, and crapola ensued~~
No it didn't, really.
Just thought I'd throw in a drama queen moment.
He managed to thread his first sewing needle about 2 hours into his first real sewing project.
And who taught him how to thread a needle and how to do long stitch?
Don't look at me, it was his Dad what done it.

How to get ones kid to join in the silly games

2010-08-15T13:15:00.000+10:00

By doin' it old school.
Was up at the crack of Dawn to get up to the Sunday Market only for the heavens to open and the sky juice to persistently ~~piss~~ bucket down.
So, hubby and I did what any other normal kid of the 70s would do - flicked the pay tv channel over to Lost In Space.
Woot!
I swear, there are bajillions of seasons and episodes of these old series we never saw here in Oz, like the Aussie tv channels only bought a couple of seasons and replayed them to death.
Anyways, there was angst in the Robinson camp with Don goin' all macho and lasering poor old Robot til he didn't babble any more.
*insert sad face here*
Although the weird-arse Spock-eared chimp was super-dooper ok to sit around and just look cute, no one ever questioned that critter's evil intentions.
And, of course, as this was the first ever black and white episode of Lost in Space Aspie teen had ever actually seen we had to do the "Warning Will Robinson, danger, danger, Warning Will Robinson" Robot chant while flailing our arms about like pieces of rubbery spaghetti.
The last bit was what tipped Aspie teen over the edge.
Staring at the mad woman, trying so hard not to split his sides with laughter he his behind his father begging "Make the bad lady go away, Daddy. Or I'll have to get the evil chimp to atomise her."
Then, he proceeded to sit through the rest of the angsty episode (Judy and Don exchanged angry looks!!!! *cue dramatic music!!!*) and picked fault with the sci-fi writers who obviously knew nothing about astronomy or the planets or even basic science.
Yeah, good times.

Olfactory survey inside my four walls

2010-08-13T12:04:00.000+10:00

Last year I was given a giftbox of a skin cream and a bottle of perfume that carries the name of a well-known supermodel.
I've been using the skin cream and thought it was pretty good, so this morning I tried out the perfume.
Well.
The canine fur-baby thought I was the bees knees, Au de Butcher's Toilette Spray couldn't have attracted her more!
She climbed all over me, sniff-sniff-sniffing loudly, tail going like the clappers, you'd have thought I'd been dragged through a patch of roadkill or had been swimming through the offal at the abattoirs.
I managed to separate her from myself and, later, trotted off to wake Aspie teen where I was told,
"Give me a hug,"
sniff-sniff-SNIFF
Then...
"You smell funny. A nice funny smell"
Yup, dogs and Aspies are in full agreement and can recommend the perfume!

Social networking skills

2010-08-12T16:45:00.000+10:00

Aspie teen had lost interest in Facebook for ages until he learned that almost all of his team mates were on it.
Now, he's scooting through his schoolwork and has swapped his 30 mins Nintendo DS playtime for Facebook and chatting.
Plus, he's rediscovered the fact some of his 'friends' on FB are, in fact, relatives, which he'd managed to completely forget!
Now, if they were footy players or a dinosaur they'd stick in his mind forever *snort*.

Thanks for your kind comments on my previous entry, they are appreciated.
We would have liked to have not applied for hubby's records but as the family was unreliable for medical information and our son was starting to have many extensive tests due to his Autism/Asperger's, we wanted to learn what we could from reliable, impartial sources.

Stuff from hubby's corner

2010-08-11T12:18:00.000+10:00

I haven't blogged about hubby much, so far, only cos I've kind of tip-toed around him for so long I'm not used to talking about him and his diagnosis'.
Very garbled family history, depends who you talk to and how much faith you put into the 'facts' you get told.
And the same people change their story over the years, so who friggin' knows?!
We eventually applied for his records through Freedom of Information.
We knew he'd been put into boys' homes and made a ward of the state but that was all.
With his Neurofibromatosis, ADHD, audio processing issues, dyslexia, Autism, etc, the bloke had memory issues, memories he couldn't figure out and, quite frankly, memories he'd very happily forget.
Waiting for the records took forever - far longer than (the then) advised 45 days (is it longer now?) with phone calls close to the end of the waiting period from people advising us to get in touch with a counsellor if we didn't have one already.
Riiiiiiiiiiiight.
We figured there were some pretty unsavoury things that happened but to read it in black and white, written by people a thousand light years earlier who did all that they could to change things, was a kick to the guts.
Hubby has happy, loving memories of a couple of his mothers girlfriends, one in particular who treated him like her own son, and who stayed in touch long after the relationship with his mother failed.
He has equally horrific memories of another of his mother's partners who belted him at any opportunity she got and called him an idiot, the same one who (we read in the records) was seen by a priest from the boys' home hitting him in the middle of the street as she thought he'd stolen the Easter egg he'd been given that morning by his dormitory supervisor. When challenged she mouthed off at the priest and claimed her rights to 'discipline' the child which was openly discussed in a meeting of teachers, carers, social workers, etc, at the home.
The records certainly filled in many gaps for us both; there was a lot of mentions of his early diagnosis', how these were explained to his family (but they never accepted them), how his mother believed this small child was refusing to learn just to spite her, how Every.Single bit of advice specialists gave the family was completely ignored, she put him in the boys' home where he was happy then removed him when it began to hurt her hip pocket, his home life got worse until his mother made him a ward of the state because, even after she locked him in his room for a couple of days, he wouldn't wish her girlfriend a happy birthday.
That's the same girlfriend who belted him several times a day.
Then the fact whole family claimed that there was no other family members willing to take him (they forgot to mention his biological grandfather, 3 different aunts and another uncle, the multitudes of great uncles and aunts, the multitudes of cousins who had no idea what was happening and who were horrified to hear of this in recent years) made my skin crawl.
Untangling the lies has been a brain-bending experience and chasing up confirmation on his diagnosis' has been time consuming and costly but it's given him a small sense of peace to know that he wasn't and has never been the one at fault.
Getting the label is just one step; accepting the diagnosis and acting on it is something else again.

I'm such a party animal snort

2010-08-11T09:44:00.000+10:00

So far, so good (touch wood, fingers crossed and all that).
The medications have found their way down his throat with only a mild reminder each morning without any meltdowns, grunts or glaring looks - such a nice routine rut to get stuck in, don't you think?
He's currently doing textbook work !!!!!
Without complaint!!!!
Explanation - up until a few months ago he'd happily do textbook work as well as online work but he's been unable to focus/concentrate/get into the groove of the textbooks, preferring the online studies.
But today he's trotted off to a quiet room to complete his textbook work.
And...he got up out of bed without anyone calling him.
He also got his brekkie without being reminded.
Only one small quiet reminder to take his medicine and it was gone in a flash!
Someone has either frozen Hell or he's been abducted by aliens.
He's in a happy groove right now, double woot and bust out the party streamers!