Things I know

Today is Sans Pants & Bra Saturday!!
Which I shamelessy pinched from both Kelley and Shae.
Following on from Sans Pants & Bra Friday Evening.
Woop, woop.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know TMI.
Get over it, I did *snort*

The Feral Aspie is distracting himself from the thunder - which isn't actually thunder but the construction of another multi-storey apartment building nearby but sounds like some Greek Goddess is chucking a tanty over the top of the house  - and is relaxing by blowing up zombies and skeletons.
Apologies to the Accidental Insect Pornographer, Kim, despite your high Klout level in Zombies when the zombie apocolypse starts I'll be hiding behind him!



The things I know are that my gorgeous boy is needing time out from mainstream school and this toenail was a blessing.
That I hesitated signing off to not register to homeschool again next year (you have to register each year in Victoria).
That maybe I'll register again just in case and look to part-time homeschooling/mainstream schooling for taking the pressure off.
That things got so bad a few weeks back that my beautiful, clever Aspie told me he was considering suicide.
And that he'd thought of different ways to do it.
That I watch him like a hawk, surreptitiously, and worry each time he walks out the door to go to school.
That the TV show Glee the other night proved my point when Santana was called out on her bullying, that she was feeling so miserable inside and was trying to make others feel the same misery.
That there is a horrible epidemic amongst our gorgeous kids that are making them so angry and unfullfilled with themselves that they are destroying each other just to survive.
That the mental health system sucks hairy dogs' balls.
That I have my splendid, happy boy right at this moment in time and that makes everything right in the world.

Barefoot Beastie

I have the Feral Aspie teen at home for a few days as he has had part of his toenail permanently removed by a scalpel-wielding GP.
Thank Gawd!!!
Him being grumpy and irritable snapping "I dunno" when asked what the problem is makes for egg-shell walking at home.
Because he doesn't connect the pain in his foot with his irritable mood, being completely at odds with his emotions.

It's given him some breathing space from school, too, where he can relax and unwind, getting his head into a happier headspace before going back and managing the exams.
Which are causing all kinds of anxiety, no matter how much we reassure him.

I'm thinking the half-days he used to have as a youngster at primary school might be on our horizon, again.
With the increased heat, longer days and general angst with end of year exams, etc, I can see us bringing home a lot of his schoolwork to tackle it at home in the afternoons.
I may need to chat to the principal about part-time school and part-time homeschooling, to give Feral Aspie Beastie some time out and an escape from the bullies.
We'll see!

Some of The Secret Language explained

Ahhhh.
That's the sound of a deep, contented sigh.
My darling Feral Aspie geeky teen is getting some help through the school and is happy to discuss his issues.
Well, they are other kids' issues who have seen fit to make them Feral Aspie teen's issues but they are being dealt with.

We've done the usual "ignore them/ walk away/ don't speak back to them" speech for years.
And it is so much easier to say when you're not the person dealing with the angst, anxiety and fury at being the centre of someone else's bullying.
So, after another incident I sat him down and explained about "the secret language".

This is something you and I  (and probably the Man in the Moon) know about instinctively.
But teens (mostly of the male variety) and those with difficulties reading social behaviours don't 'get it'.

I explained that someone teasing/bullying him is handing power over themselves to the victim.
When the victim ignores them, the bully ends up with egg on their face, looking like an idiot in front of friends.
And no feedback from the victim to continue the teasing.

But the moment the victim responds to the bullying they are handing the power back to the bully, feeding the monster with attention and giving them ammunition to continue.

When an older student gave them a mouthful of abuse as he walked past the other day, Feral teen and a friend automatically responded in kind.
In hindsight he understood how this inflamed the situation into shocking volumes.
I explained him to think of the Mountain Gorilla, sitting up banging his chest and grunting out a challenge to other males.
This is how this student (and most male teens) behave.
The moment people respond in kind it is the equivilent of the second male gorilla meeting the challenge and agreeing to a physical fight.

Feral Aspie teen understood immediately when I put "the secret language" into similies that he knew.
And, I think, he is finally understanding the intelligence behind the oft-repeated "ignore them/walk away" instructions as not a means to let the bully off but to keep the power in his own hands (and himself safe).


And now he's off at the GP getting his ingrown toenail - also known as the underlying bane of our existence - seen to.

So, I shall be waving my not-so-magic wand and disappearing myself into the backyard!

Don't ever let yourself get painted beige by bullies

Good grief, I turn around and another month flies past without me posting over here!
To be honest, we've had some great ups and some very dark downs with the Feral Aspie teen.

He loves school, wants to go all the time and really puts his all into his work.
The teachers have no complaints with him and he gets along really well with those in Years 10, 11 and 12.
If he could go to school and just learn, everything would be prefect.

Unfortunately there is a plethora of personalities and types at school; some of them are so uncomfortable in their own skin and have no confidence to let their spirits soar and shine that they bully others who are anything other than average.
You know, paint yourself beige to blend in and don't be too clever or too knowledgable or achieve good marks or do anything that might make you stand out.

So, couple this with Feral Aspie teen who is a walking, talking encyclopedia, who has completed 5 university units and, while he forgets to use shampoo on his hair whilst under the shower, he can recall Every.Little.Detail about arguments/discussions/lessons/events/docos so much so that he spits them back out verbatim.

Which doesn't help him paint himself beige.
And nor does he want to become beige.
He is who he is; his spirit will soar and shine and he will achieve whatever he hell he wants, despite the measly little creatures who have anchored their souls to the floor of the budgie cage and are too scared to unchain their potential to fly free.

Of course, we have glorious, wonderful Dunolly to restore his happy.
We now own a caravan at the caravan park, a little home away from home which Feral Aspie teen finds is just perfect for him.
Instead of him going on the school camp where he won't get a break for 5 days from any niggles or bullying or even mild, joking teasing (which could easily turn into a fully flamed argument) we've offered to take him to spend that week at Dunolly.
Which he jumped at, of course.

Go read a great post on the troubles with bullies by Madam Bipolar.
Yes, bullying has been around for a long time and only recently have schools really started to take it seriously because of the long-term consequences....except those very same long-term consequences were there all along.
We look towards the future of our fragile youth who are bullied but don't forget to take a peep back over our shoulders at those who are still struggling with those consequences.

Confessions of a bored blogger

I have a confession to make.
I haven't blogged here for ages cos I found life...everything... boring.
Same old, same old; monumental meltdowns coupled with calls to emergency services, smashed up house, asking for help...and stress.
Oh, yes, that added extra every parent needs.
That was sarcasm dripping on the keyboard if you didn't notice.

If I found the whole thing as stimulating as watching bat shit dry, what could I offer you to read...the back of a cereal packet?

My gorgeous Feral Aspie teen has started back at mainstream school.
Thereby hangs a tale of mystery.
Through a series of events/circumstances/comments/attitudes, etc, he did not start at his school until AFTER the bully (who nearly caused him to have a complete breakdown in primary school) was EXPELLED from the very same school.
My Dad was looking after his beloved grandson.
This child of mine has laughed at ribbing earning grudging respect...he has come back with funny responses when someone has given him lip....he has been polite, well-mannered with his teachers....he has corrected smartarses who tried to prove him wrong in front of teachers (who backed him up), yesterday he braved name-calling on the bus to liberate some terracotta pots from hard rubbish for me.

Then this morning we got a call to tell us how much he is liked at school.
How much his teachers like him and like having him in their classes.
How impressed they are with his academic work.
How much the other kids like him.
How some have dubbed him "the coolest dude".

Our lives changed with his diagnosis at age 2, it changed again when he faced so many challenges at the start of school, then our existence changed again when the bullying got out of control for which I began homeschooling him.
Again our lives changed following his head injury and his behavioural change.
After 4 years of homeschooling he was ready to return to mainstream school and, through serendipity (his Pa watching over him) we found him the right school that was the right fit, with small classes, at the right time.

The sun is shining despite the pouring rain outside my window.
Our life has changed again after the phone call this morning.
My boys beautiful nature is having a chance to shine through once more.

Hey, honey, I'm hoooooooooooome!

So....
It's been awhile!
Gawd, looked at the last date on here and it's almost 2 months since I posted.

Haven't redecorated as yet....not for want of bits and bobs, although the hard rubbish drive was sadly disappointing this year as the recycling was done in the wee hours by people quieter than church mice (and if you've ever sat in a pew listening hard for church mice over the organ....you'll know how quiet those little critters really are).

Yeah, I have the oddest of thoughts skipping through my grey matter at times.
Along with the random hymn.
And redecorating plans.

We still have holes in the walls - with the warm weather coming on I'll probably procrastinate for some more months that it's extra air-con *rolls eyes at self* - although I'm toying with the idea of turning them into recessed shelving.
Yeah, yeah, doesn't every toilets need recessed shelving?
For the outdated Phantom comic books?

And in other news the Aspie geek teen is back in mainstream school.
Woohoo.
6 weeks to date.
It's been a blessing; he was ready to return to the school system, we found a nearby state school that caters to kids with learning difficulties (particularly Autism), they have smaller-than-usual class sizes/school population and so far it's a really good fit.

And I get a whole 7 hours to myself!
That is....if I can convince the spouse to bugger off outside to rediscover himself in the garden *snort*

Redecorating via The Spectrum

Oh look!
It's 2 minutes past the witching hour and moi is still awake!

"Midnight, one more night without sleepin'
Watchin', till the morning comes creepin'
Green door, what's that secret you're keepin'?"

C'mon, you know the words!
If old age has poked holes in your grey matter you can cheat and slip over here and do a quick refresher.
You're welcome for the ear-worm *insert wicked laughter*


Meanwhile....things are somewhat quieter here, that could be that Feral Aspie Teen has taken onboard tools to help him connect with his emotions (something that most Auties/Aspies have difficulty with).
Or he's just run out of plaster walls to batter.
Or his parents singing operas of Prisoner (the tv series) has traumatised the poor possum into silence *snort*


We're thinking outside the square to repair the walls....was going to go with wood panelling (Helloooooo, mid-1970s style!) but I'm thinking more corrugated iron....decorated steel mesh....stainless steel....industrial look....
Annnnd then we have the hard rubbish drive happening in the next month or so around these parts...
Whaaaaa?
I'm just sayin'.
Recycling...reusing....saving moolah....saving those poor hard rubbish collectors from injuring their backs....

Why they are NOT hacking my phone messages....

...apart from the fact that I am neither a celebrity or a victim of crime.
I'll give you a sample of my messages and you can probably figure the reason out for yourselves.

"Hello, Mrs XXX, this is the disability services, we've put you on the waiting list but we can't say how long you'll have to wait, we have yet to employ enough workers to cover the children we deal with now."

"This is Thingo from Such and Such school. Sorry, but your son doesn't qualify for our school setting, you'll have to look at mainstream high schools."

"Hi, this is Blah Blah from Private Specialist Practice and we've put you on the waiting list to see Specialist which will give you an appointment sometime in 2014 but don't worry if someone dies we'll push you forward."

"Hi, just returning your call re enrolling your son in our Autistic Specialist School; it seems his language isn't enough below par to qualify for our education setting. Maybe mainstream or a private school?"

"Hello. This is Crappity Crappity from the head injuries place. Just letting you know there's a 19 week waiting period for assessments."

"Hello, Mrs XXX, I've taken your details about your son and those responsible will get back to you about enrolling him at our school although you might have to look at other schools with integration streams closer to home or think about a private school."

"Hi! This is Sunshine Sally! I'm ringing to let you know that if you pay a minimum of several thousand dollars we can possibly fit your son in next Winter. Have a nice day! Byeeee!"

"Hi, just to let you know there's a lengthy waiting list to be enrolled at our school, I'd suggest you look into mainstream or private schools instead."

"Hello, this is Oblivious Clothead ringing to tell you that you missed out on funding due to the paperwork being filed under F for Forget on my desk and missing the financial year deadline. Maybe you'd better think about reapplying in another 12 months."

"Hi hon, this is your husband. Just to let you know I've been offered a few thousand dollars for my kidney but I could get several tens of thousands if I donate my spleen. Let me know what you think. They've promised I can wake up in a bath full of ice with no clothes and the possible bonus of an internal infection. Good, huh?!"

Hopes raised (again) but in a good way

The day arrived when the feral Aspie teen was sectioned (again) by the police and (Finally!!!) admitted to the adolescent psych unit.
C'mon, let's hear it....
About F'kn Time!

Yes, he'd lost the plot (again) and bashed us up (again) and we called the police (again) and thankfully one of the 4 who barrelled through the door in flak jackets with their capsicum spray at the ready (again) was a regular visitor while another had been here and had sectioned him on the other ocassion.

Gotta love the police when they can stand there and (later, after Aspie teen had calmed down) comment on how much the lad has grown since this policeman last eyeballed him *snort*

He's happy, he's settled, he's getting help, he's having to face up to a lot of things we've tried to help him with but he brushed off our suggestions (strangely they're the same things being suggested by the staff, lol always someone else), he's getting eyeballed and listened to and supervised and observed.

I'm just hoping that now he's got his toe inside the heavily-guarded hosp unit he (and we) can get on-going support for when he comes home.
But now, we take it one day at a time and thank the Gummy Mary there was a bed available for him when we desperately needed it.