Not drowning, dog paddling

We're going two steps forward and 1 step back; how do you explain grief and the turmoil of emotions of losing a loved one to an ASD teen who is almost completely disconnected from his own emotions and cannot identify how he feels at any particular time of the day?
Yep, fun and games!

The anger and fury is foremost, of course, but we have managed to get him to the stage of actually saying that he doesn't know why he is angry and hurting others.
This gives us the chance to explain to him about grief and the various stages; we've assured him he is perfectly normal in feeling the way he does but he needs to manage his feelings in a different manner.

We have the anger management poster and workbook from this site - they have some fabulous resources - which we've had for some time and is successful in helping him identify how his different emotions snowball into anger but he is still unable to readily identify how he actually feels.
Unless we talk him through it judging from the visual clues....like clenched teeth, clenched fists, frowns, snappy speech yet he can swear up and down that he's in a good mood/having a good time/calm...everything that is opposite to the physical features.

This is where he has a great deal of trouble in identifying something that has upset him from earlier in the day or the previous day when it's been able to fester in the back of his mind, colouring his thoughts on everything else in a bitter pall rather than seperate the one issue that irritated him and discuss it/ think it over, etc.

So, he sits there and worries that he isn't showing any grief at his Pa's passing while we are reassuring him that, yes, he most certainly is and pointing out the connections between his behaviour and emotions.
Which we will be enforcing with a suggesion from a friend - taking photos of him in different moods and helping him identify how he feels by getting him to look at the photos and change them on the cork board as his emotions fluctuate throughout the day and then helping him identify the triggers which have caused the change in his emotions - IE a good time at footy training made him happy, not understanding a maths equation made him frustrated, not catching the ball at cricket made him angry with himself, etc.

This is another good one for suggestions, tips, a brief run-down for friends, family members or teachers on managing emotional regulation and anxiety for kids on the Spectrum.
And of course on top of everything is the fear - his beloved paediatrician is retiring at the end of the year, the disability worker has resigned and we (assume) he'll have to start over over with a new worker, a couple of others on the footy team have radically changed in temperament which has disturbed more than just Aspie teen, and he's trying to work through his grief for his Pa.

Make 'em laugh and dodge the muck

The Aspie teen has, as I type, completed his English work for the day and is getting himself some culture (more than his usual serving from a tub of yoghurt *boom tish* ) and is watching the 1952 film version of The Importance of being Earnest.

He loves these older Brit comedic films; there's a style, a particular fashion in their making that seems to appeal to him and his sense of humour while offering no threats or anxieties.
And he needs a bit of humour in his life at the moment.

Dad has yet another chest infection and several new medications.
Hubby put the prescriptions into the chemist and stupidly assumed they'd been all filled and started following the new medication regime.
Dad is on a bajillion tablets at eleventy thousand times each day - before meals, after meals, with meals, between meals - not to mention the 4 hourly nebulisers, puffers and pain relief.
He has 10 different meds at brekkie alone - some before, some after, some with his food - all which have to be broken into tiny pieces for him to swallow which takes at least 5 tiny bird-like sips of fluid before he can get the message to his gag reflex to work.
Then, this weekend he has started on thickened fluids as he is unable to swallow without choking on fluids now.
Hubby double checked and found they hadn't filled the antibiotics - when he went back they said they didn't have them in stock, that we'd have to wait until Monday.

Dad has started going downhill mentally, refusing to eat and drink, doing silly things like emptying his hot water bottle into the waste paper basket by his chair or throwing his bedlinen onto the floor and tossing his water onto it , refusing to stand/walk, etc.
And of course he's doubly incontinent - I won't share the details but suffice to say Aspie teen freaks out and seeks respite in the backyard or up a tree while we deal with the filth.
We have tried to feed Dad, encouraged him to drink and he refuses, closing his mouth, calling us names, lashing out with his fists and feet.
You gotta respect a bloke with feet as blue as a Smurf who can manage to do that.

So, we're indulging in Fox Classics comedies like On The Buses, 'Allo 'Allo, Are You Being Served?, and the odd genuine film, classic like today's The Importance of being Earnest.