Anxiety - Teh Shizzle that dictates my sons life

I have a sore back - strained lumbar muscles, aggrevated old injury due to a 'moment' with my beautiful Aspie kidlet.
This is all I'm expanding on except to say I lurve Voltarin and various pain meds, hot water bottles and my darling kidlet who is unable to control some behaviours due to the overwhelming anxiety he deals with every day.

His anxiety is Teh Shizzle - if it was a person it would be The Fonz (from Happy Days) except it'd be the Fonz's evil twin cousin sitting on his shoulder telling him to be the bad arse biker dude, to scare the crapola outa everyone and to bask in the FEAR he inspires in those around him.
BUT.
That is not how my Aspie teen works; he is a kind, gentle soul who goes out of his way to help others,who strives his best to do good and who sobs uncontrollably when he knows he's mucked up and hurt someone.

This isn't a kid growing into being a bad person who'll end up in gaol.
This is a kid growing into being a person trying to negotiate the boundaries anxiety throws up in everyday situations and trying to find his footing in everyday situations you or I would think nothing about...who might end up in gaol through misunderstandings.
My biggest nightmare.

Teh Shizzle is an awe inspiring, fearsome anxiety where he goes into auto-pilot; it's kill or be killed, attack or be hurt, such is his anxiety and paranoia.
(which some twat believes will be helped be sending him back to an overcrowded high school, did I mention this? Oh yes, I did, let's just repeat this 'joke')
You can have a fabulous conversation with him one minute and then suddenly he'll turn into a screaming virago if he misunderstands/misinterprets what your meaning is  - which is common on the Spectrum.
Teh Shizzle is something to behold ; it's an all consuming anxiety that drives superhuman strength, it crosses all boundaries and defies logic/commonsense and makes science into a lie such is his twisting argument.

BUT - it only happens with his father and I - he contains his stress until he is home where he "can let it all hang out", where (typical Aspie) he feels comfy and can regurgitate the anxiety that's been growing inside of him.
He is perfectly well behaved with other people so please do not feel intimidated in not meeting this wonderful personc or others like him.

Personality disorder/ schizo-effective disorder as he was diagnosed back in the day?
Farked if I know.
Autistic-driven anxiety as another specialist would have it?
Farked if I know.
Asperger's anxiety combined with hormones?
Farked if I know.
Tourette's anxiety attack?
See above.
(have you seen a pattern here? I am not an expert on any of Teh Shizzle, I am but a commuter taken along for a ride until Teh Shizzle decides we've reached the end of the penny section and boots me off when the Aspie teen bursts into great floods of tears and I need to cuddle him until he settles again).

Teh Shizzle is more then mere anxiety; anxiety is so underestimated in its powerful hold on people it's swept under the carpet and many don't consider the strength anxiety wields over the sufferer.
Teh Shizzle is HUGE, it is the mammoth wave about to dump you into the beach leaving you breathless, scared and completely out of control.
Teh Shizzle will not take mercy on you; it will not give a fat rat's clacker how scared it makes you, how it screws with your life or twists your thinking.
Teh Shizzle is a bitch.

And it is an insidious parasite that hitches a ride with my Aspie teen, it sucks his happiness away like a blood-starvd leech, it pushes its way into his everyday life and colours his experience to its own bent.
We don't like Teh Shizzle.
If you know someone battling anxiety, please don't dismiss it; it can be a massive hurdle for people to overcome in everyday activities and showing some understanding is a big help.
Thanks for reading  :)

Bill Shorten speaks commonsense

When you are bearing the burden of having a disability, or caring for a person with a disability, your ability to fight for anything beyond daily survival is lost.

That one sentence not only proves to me that Bill Shorten has been listening but that it also sums up exactly how I've felt in the past few months, more notably these past few weeks.
We have no idea if this is an emerging mental illness or a manifestation of Aspie teen's autism fuelled by raging testosterone with puberty.
Mental illness or disability - choose your poison cos either way you slice it the system as it stands is screwed.
The rest of the article by Bill Shorten is HERE.

Send in the clowns....oh, wait, I'm here

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them, it makes me feel less isolated.
Aspie teen has stretched his Achilles tendon - he actually did it over a week ago at footy but it's got worse to the point he complained of a sore foot Tuesday night; high pain threshold + hypermobility = unexpected injuries weeks later.
Told he may have to consider sitting out the footy season til his body matures a bit more and play next year, depending on how he pulls up after footy this Sunday.
Major meltdown this morning which resulted in a spontaneous nose bleed from high blood pressure.
Another just now - both meltdown and blood nose but in reverse order where the sight of the blood may have been the trigger.
Or it might have been Saturn in the 4th house of Jupiter was the cause.
Dear Holly Robinson Peet "Puberty plus Autism? Challenging!"
I'd say you're being rather understated there, poppet, but Hell, I could kiss you silly for your words.
And though I highly doubt mine is experiencing seizures this article made so much sense, too.
Finally, another mention of almost everything we're going through here makes me feel normal.
Were any of you told of the possibility of seizures at puberty?
There's a fairy godmother flitting about somewhere handing out the goodies for all the teens hitting their hormone bootstraps when the silly old biddy hands out seizures to the Auties/Aspies.
The silly cow flits in, drops a great lump of hormones, rage, hormones, seething emotions, hormones, possible seizures and hormones on the ASD teen in the middle of the night and the next thing you know is you're living Invasion of The Body Snatchers.
Or Shaun of The Dead.
Except I don't do the fence hurdling too well.
I have to laugh cos I'm all cried out from today.