Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick...tick...tick

Aspie teen had no idea of time.
He can't 'sense' when time has passed while he's been reading or working on a project.
He can't look at the sky or the shadows and guess whether it's morning or afternoon, those little things around us that we pick up mostly without being told.
A friend of ours suggested an egg timer, a little $2 cheapie thing with one of those ear-piercing bell alarms that lets the whole world know you've over-boiled your eggs again.
So.
It worked for Aspie teen.
No longer did he park himself in the backyard for hours watching ants or prattle his "in a minute" when engrossed in a book/tv show/game.
We put the egg timer on his games when arguments ensued - 30 mins on the games and 1 minute less for each time he'd refuse to do something with the "In a minute" chant.
How often do we say that "In a minute" without any real intention of being literally just one minute?
To someone with no concept of what the value of a minute was this was just a throw-away comment.
Until those precious minutes started flying past on the egg timer - how often did we hear "That can't be right! I just started eating my dinner!" when we got tired of dinner being dragged out for 2 hours or "But that can't be 30 mins already!" when his gaming time was up.
Suddenly, he realised how quickly time was whooshing past without his noticing and when he's reminded of losing some of those precious minutes from his gaming time - whoosh!
It's amazing how quickly he gets a wriggle on these days!
Sure, it's not all sunshine and roses and we've had to incorporate a large-faced analogue watch for him to use (with much nagging reminding to wear it) as he's great with digital but analogue gives a more precise indication of time passing.
Look at a digital clock.
It's just numbers.
Look at an analogue clock face.
It's hands are a picture telling you how much time until the next hour.
You can count the 5 minute increments between the numbers, the value of a minute is right there staring you in the face and the movement of the hands gives you the underlying message that time does not stand still.
Aspie teen still isn't fantastic but he's better with time management, organisation and  study.

Lamination progress huzzah!

So, I've gone a little silly with the laminator.
Weeeell, maybe not so silly.
I've printed up the step-by-step way of having a shower.
Yes, I even reminded him to grab a towel!
Then the step-by-step order to start his day with breakfast, starting with the first step of "No Coke!!!!"
He's a bit of a fiend for that, self-medicating with the caffeine for his ADHD plus once he does something it gets cast in concrete that he Must.Do.It.The.Exact.Same.Way.Every.Time.
Has to have a glass of fizzy lolly water (coke, Fanta, Sarsaparilla, Root Beer, Dr Pepper, lemonade, etc) right before Every.Single.evening meal.
Sometimes he'll have just finished drinking water or juice but the OCD kicks in and he almost turns magenta arguing for his precious glass of fizzy soft drink.
I digress.
I've printed up small business card-sized prompts for him to tuck into his wallet; one states that he has Asperger's, Tourette's, ADHD, OCD and anxiety, asking the person to be patient with him, with an autism ribbon to underscore the message.
Another is a prompt card for when he has a panic/anxiety attack, with suggestions of focusing on Pokemon, Doctor Who, etc, taking deep breaths, that kind of thing.
Another is a prompt card for beginning a conversation with a new acquaintance, how to share the conversation with the other person rather than dominate it with his own hobbies/interests, etc.
I've also printed up the order of getting down to work with his textbooks; some days his head is off in la-la land and he can take hours to do what he can finish within 30 mins some days.

Bizarrely, these are the exact same things we chant to him every day yet, because he is such a visual learner, reading them in black and white has already helped him get his work done with no angst and he's thrown his medication down his throat with greater speed than seen on Usain Bolt on a track.
He's never been one for the social stories or picture prompts but these lists have really clicked with him.

Kyneton Museum, the regionals rock

Climbed aboard the country train with Aspie teen this morning and Kyneton (Central Victoria) was graced with our ever-so-slightly chilled presence on this brisk Winter's day.
Aspie teen loves the museums and galleries but I'm easing him into visiting regional ones ahead of the school hols so we don't have to miss out on his favourite obsessions that will otherwise, in Melbourne at least, be packed to the rafters with People!
And Kids!
Mostly Screaming Kids!
Which doesn't do wonders for his Aspergerian anxiety but school hols are only small interruptions and we're hitting the regionals, baby.
The Kyneton Museum is a gem, a loved-up local gem and one that you should seek out if you get the chance.

Situated in the former Bank of NSW (original 1860s building), they have exhibitions downstairs with the bank manager's residence upstairs fully furnished in the period of the day, with movement-activated recordings of what would have been usual conversations.
The stables, laundry, kitchen and 2-pot (a double bunger) outhouse are intact as is the original squatter's cottage, Theaden Homestead, again furnished in period style with recorded conversations of daily life.
Fabulous set up, run by friendly people and something I'd highly recommend to anyone.

We wandered up and down the streets and side-streets of Kyneton, admiring the Neo-Gothic churches, the beautiful architecture of many buildings inspired by the heady gold rush days right through to the Art Deco years and the many uses one can find for bluestone.
The town is a grand place to visit; we actually ran out of time (only 6 hours!) to complete our self-guided tour and so shall be returning at a later date to visit the cemetery, Botanic Gardens, the Farmer's Market (every 2nd Saturday in St Paul's Park) and the many little side streets that beckoned to our curiosity .
But for next week Aspie teen has chosen we shall visit Ballarat.

My boy had a wow of a day

The Aspie teen has had a couple of minor meltdowns - and I do mean minor - with the yelling, swearing and aggro lasting all of 10 mins.
Yes, we thought it was such a lovely change from the hours on end of mental breakdowns he had to endure, too!
There's a couple of things we may be pointing the finger at - the gluten finally leaving and/or the build up of the fish, flaxseed and Evening primrose oils he's been taking.
He's calmer, he's making sense, he's almost back to his old self.
*sigh*
Took him in to see the Rupert Bunny exhibition at Fed Square; found some excellent homeschooling resources for it as it's had some education kits developed for use within schools. The downloads were for both primary and secondary students, very appealing, simple and easy but challenging to the student to use their observational skills in each painting.
He zipped through them without a complaint; fully focused and loving every minute of it, this is how I know he's getting better.
Then he chose some postcards of Rupert Bunny's and McCubbin's paintings, and quickly mentally calculated the cost (correctly), again showing that he's getting back on track.
Then we continued the homeschooling lesson up at the Melbourne Town Hall where they held a free organ concert;  twas fantabulous, the organist David MacFarlane brilliantly and wittily introduced each piece, explaining the strengths, the arguments within the music, who was influenced by what when it was created, etc.
The kid loved it so it was a great success.
The choice to homeschool him 4 years ago has not only paid off for him being able to spread his wings and explore both secondary and uni learning ahead of his peers but it's allowed him to have these hiccups along the way without putting more pressure on him with having to cope with mainstream school, too.

Catch up

Well, the teen of the household has spent the better part of the past 2 days hiding out in the bedrooms as the house was being rewired.
No outbursts, only a tiny bit of aggro and the over-whelming need to hide away from the 3 sparkies.
He was so shy, much more than usual,  and happily pottered with his text books, ABC radio and archaeology mags in the bedroom safe in the knowledge they'd finished those rooms yesterday.
Tomorrow we claw our way from under our blankies at the disgusting hour of 4.45am to traipse off to Bendigo for the day; a combination of itchy feet, the McCubbin exhibition and the need to get some fresh country air to blow away the cobwebs of blah that have taken up residence of late.
Blah cobwebs are grey and drain everything of colour and life.
I've faithfully looked up the op shops in Bendigo and am going to print out a map for him to navigate us about the place (which could be interesting - if I'm not back in Melbourne by 6pm release the hounds!).

We WILL win, dammit

Aspie teen has stalled, academically, but I refuse to let it frazzle me.
The specialists who are supposed to be sorting out assessments are speaking a mixture of Swahili, Latin and Gibberish apparently, but I refuse to let it frazzle me.
My Dad is becoming more of a child but I refuse to let it frazzle me.
Well, nothing's going to frazzle me today, at least.
Things are so over-whelming but I cannot afford to get swamped cos my boy needs me to be functional, plastering a great grin on my dial, boosting his self-confidence and reassuring him that this, too, will pass.
My mantra has become "Let's get through this next hour in one piece" and, viola! We get to the end of the day without having the armed forces knocking on our door.
This is always a bonus.
Now, I'm off to channel surf pay TV, rugged up on the couch with my boy with his bug (virus) with hot chocolate and the odour of Vick's Vapour Rub and Deep Heat burning nostril hairs at 30 paces.
The First Straw by 311.

Counting blessings

I am so thankful for Aspie teen's paediatrician.
He not only knows the Spectrum inside out, is well-versed and knowledgeable but he treats his child patients as equals, talking to them instead of down to them or dismissing them altogether.
He has reassured my boy that he has nothing to be ashamed of, that what he's experiencing is not his fault and that he is a perfectly normal kid who's having a few ups and downs.
My son's Russian teacher has been marvellous, too, setting homework for him, openly acknowledging his quirks and working to his strengths to circumvent his weaknesses.
She even stated he is seen as an inspiration, a bench mark, for the other kids which she shamelessly uses lol.
He's gone back to using heavy blankets and asking for tight squishy hugs throughout the day.
He's also borrowed hubby's DJ headphones to block out sounds while listening to music or playing games.
He can hear what we're whispering 25 feet away.
Maybe I should enroll him in ASIO and he can get stuck in a squishy drain pipe ear-wigging to sensitive info?

Shhh...

We've taken things back to basics and are trialling Aspie teen on just very basic literature tasks, such as reading & comprehension, words & meanings with appropriate use in sentences, etc.
As he's homeschooled we're able to be flexible with his work to suit what the Spectrum is throwing at us, thank goodness, and we can chop and change subjects to snare his attention and focus as it suits.
He's deeply disappointed at possibly having to skip footy, if he does further damage to his tendon this Sunday, but I reminded him the alternative was to sport a RoboBoot like Kelley.
He immediately understood having read about RoboBoot and how serious Kelley's injury had become, thus coming around to my way of thinking and taking it easy this footy match and resting himself as much as possible.
Yeah, could see that further injury would go down really well with him surfing the Hormone Waves at the moment!
Have been spraying lavender all over the house -it's supposed to soothe tempers and bring about a sense of calmness - so if it doesn't work at least the house smells pretty.
Still sticking to the GFDF diet, was going to make pasta from scratch but trialled the Orgran Rice and Corn Mini Lasagna sheets the other day - Very yummy, works well and just like regular lasagna sheets.

Send in the clowns....oh, wait, I'm here

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them, it makes me feel less isolated.
Aspie teen has stretched his Achilles tendon - he actually did it over a week ago at footy but it's got worse to the point he complained of a sore foot Tuesday night; high pain threshold + hypermobility = unexpected injuries weeks later.
Told he may have to consider sitting out the footy season til his body matures a bit more and play next year, depending on how he pulls up after footy this Sunday.
Major meltdown this morning which resulted in a spontaneous nose bleed from high blood pressure.
Another just now - both meltdown and blood nose but in reverse order where the sight of the blood may have been the trigger.
Or it might have been Saturn in the 4th house of Jupiter was the cause.
Dear Holly Robinson Peet "Puberty plus Autism? Challenging!"
I'd say you're being rather understated there, poppet, but Hell, I could kiss you silly for your words.
And though I highly doubt mine is experiencing seizures this article made so much sense, too.
Finally, another mention of almost everything we're going through here makes me feel normal.
Were any of you told of the possibility of seizures at puberty?
There's a fairy godmother flitting about somewhere handing out the goodies for all the teens hitting their hormone bootstraps when the silly old biddy hands out seizures to the Auties/Aspies.
The silly cow flits in, drops a great lump of hormones, rage, hormones, seething emotions, hormones, possible seizures and hormones on the ASD teen in the middle of the night and the next thing you know is you're living Invasion of The Body Snatchers.
Or Shaun of The Dead.
Except I don't do the fence hurdling too well.
I have to laugh cos I'm all cried out from today.

I'm scared

Have been under a whole heap of hurting pressure recently.
My Dad's health is failing, I need new specs cos my eyesight has gone south even further but it's the Aspie teen that this post is about.
Only silver lining was tonight's successful GFDF conversion of this self-saucing chocolate pudding here - I substituted the milk for fruit juice, flour for Healtheries GF baking mix and the butter for oil.
Yeah, I got all a'quiver over chocolate *snort*.
Aspie teen has not been 'quite himself' since his major meltdown of several weeks ago; his mind is not engaged, his focus is off-kilter and it's like all the autistic traits have become magnified.
His impulse control is broken, his meds don't seem to be clicking in and conversations are running off into different tangents.
We've finally got in to see a medical professional to get an assessment started, thank the flipping Goddess on high, but it's like the kid's been holding onto the last shreds of control and now that he's started seeing someone he's relaxing the grip on those reins.
Which scares me beyond silly.
I'm sitting here putting on a 'normal' face for hubby and my Dad so they don't freak, to the teenager babbling nonsense (who was studying at uni only 2 weeks ago) I show the 'normal, calm mummy' face so he doesn't freak out, either.
Cos he's all on the defensive when I even casually ask him anything about his thoughts, his behaviours, his driving urges, etc.
What do you say to a teen who has forgotten they've literally-not-2-seconds-earlier just got off a bus at a bus stop only to turn around, look at the bus stop sign and complain that "We've walked past the bus stop how are we going to catch a bus, now?"
Then almost 2 mins later, after the explanation, again ask "But, where are we going to catch a bus from?"
This shit scares me.

Diets and chocolate are not mutually exclusive

Serendipity was being ladelled out in droves yesterday.
On the bus to a certain large shopping centre (that is so big it has its own atmosphere) I commented to Aspie teen that he may need to start back on the GFDF diet full-time, as he has a few minor health issues which may - or may not - resolve themselves once more on the diet.
We have followed this diet in the past - oh, yes, the screaming is such a cherished memory, bless - and there was a huge improvement in his health, his behaviour, his language/social/motor skills and edyamakashun that I'm happy to leap back on it properly, even if it's just to rule out any environmental factors that are bugging the carp out of him.
We have been more avoiding a lot of gluten in his diet rather than completely excluding it for the past few years.
We trundled through the crowds, snaffled the bits and bobs we were there for then as we were going through the check-out at Aldi I grabbed a copy of their next week's specials catalogue.
There on page 9 it was laid before me in all of Aldi's glory.
Their new "Has No..." food range.
Has No... is free from gluten, dairy and wheat, with some items even free from soy, egg, yeast, GMO and cane sugar while being suitable for vegans/vegetarians.
They have plain and SR flour, pancake mix, gravy, bread mix, (tinned) spaghetti, rice crumbs and, most importantly, They.Are.All.Affordable.
They are only a special item for the week beginning May 13th - I rang and checked this with the head office - so we'll be taking notice of this message from Ceiling Cat/The Universe/ the fairies at the bottom of the garden and will stock up!
Aspie teen was decidedly unimpressed with the whole notion until we got to the crux of the problem - he was worried he'd be unable to have chocolate.
I reassured him there were many, many, MANY more available GFDF food lines since he was last on the diet full-time and there were plenty of chocolate alternatives out there.
Now he's a happy Aspie!

Autism-GFDF diet nixed

So....the news is screamed at me from my inbox;
"Gluten-Autism link doesn't hold up, Review Reveals".
Oh, can't you just hear the gloating from those who think anything that deviates 2 inches from the mainstream medical norm is witchcraft and all supporters should be burned at the stake?
Or shunned with a snooty sniff and lifting of ones nose higher into the air, at the very least.
Let's look at this...
They reviewed studies and found the theory lacking.
Riiiiiiiiight.
They didn't conduct a fail-safe, water-tight, cover-all-bases-and-arses study of their own.
They 'reviewed' all previous ones.
Yep, that's like me 'reviewing' someone's headcolds for the past year - it achieves nothing, offers no new evidence or theories and merely totes up the number of tissues that any roomful of monkeys could arrive at given enough red cordial in their diet.
I go by observation, mother's instinct and commonsense.
My son was found to have no flora in his gut during an extensive study.
He improved on the GF-DF diet.
Now, who's gonna round up these naughty ASD kids who've improved on GF-DF diets and tell 'em to come clean and stop acting all switched on and connected, hmm?

Aspergian sub-culture

Last night on the Alone in a Crowded Room doco there were comments and observations passed that I've noted myself but kept to myself as so many 'specialists' prattle the same mantra contrary to basic logic.
The fact that those on the Spectrum are forced into behaving like neurotypicals; we're torturing square pegs to fit into round holes that they will NEVER fit comfortably in.
Dr Wendy Lawson stated that it would be far easier and better for neurotypicals to make the effort to understand and accept the neuro-diversity offered by Auties/Aspies than it was for Auties/Aspies being made to conform to a false ideal of "normal".
And this other ideal, to separate those on the Spectrum from each other and to push them into socialising with neurotypicals to learn to mimic their 'socially acceptable' behaviour, is bizarre and cruel.
I was  listening to an interview on ABC radio recently where journo Paul Raffaele described how the African chimps and gorillas had different sub-cultures inside groups in the wild; how orphans were being saved from poachers but brought up in a vacuum without their family/tribe culture and knowing only the fear/terror and angry behaviour from witnessing their mothers being slaughtered in front of them.
Our Auties/Aspies aren't witnessing murders but they are growing up in a vacuum where they're frightened and scared, made to feel like the outsider, that they are the oddball in a group of neurotypicals when they are in fact part of one of the fastest growing groups in the Western world.
The odds have changed so quickly many media outlets aren't keeping up with the ratios anymore as Valerie pointed out in her post HERE; it's 1 in 90 in USA, here in Oz it's 1 in 100.
When Aspie teen was first diagnosed it was reported as being closer to 1 in 250+ only 11 years ago.
Either the kids are getting in on the fad early or it's no longer the last thing specialists consider.
So, if our ASD kids are in such numbers and they know the funding isn't there for early intervention/integration aide funding and they know the mainstream systems don't always work ...why isn't the whole thing turned on it's head and neurotypicals made to just accept someone as being different?
And embrace the neurodiversity on offer?
Cos without the Spectrum we'd all still be gnawing on a raw hunk of meat in a cave somewhere.

Autism doco and blather

Reminder to those who requested it that tonight at 10.05pm on ABC1 is "Alone in a Crowded Room" a 1 hour doco on what happens to autistic children when they grow up.
Full synopsis available to read HERE.
Some people - and many govt depts - seem to think autistic kids outgrow their autism, although in my experience that misconception in govt depts does appear to have a direct correlation to budgets and funding.
Sorry, is my cynicism showing again?
Should be an interesting show! 
So, the Aspie teen is off at his first footy match this morning; both he and his dad were up before the crack of dawn, heating up soup for the thermos, buttering rolls and obsessively double, triple, quadruple checking backpacks were packed correctly.
A little song we nurses used to sing..."What's that refrain that goes through my brain? OCD ! OCD!"
Leaving moi to run amok about the house.
The possibilities of what I could get up to...while supervising Dad...are innumerable.. countless.. several.. a few I can count on 1 hand.
Oh, be still my beating heart!
It shall be crochet hooks at 30 paces with yarn flung about with wild abandon.

Autism Rainbow Day

Today is Autism Rainbow Day.

Toss out your staid workshirt and throw on a plain coloured t-shirt to help raise more awareness of Autism and the whole spectrum our kids are on.

Don't forget - Autism Awarness Month in Australia begins tomorrow for the whole month of May.

Flog Your Blog Friday again!
Rules from Da Boss Lady
1. Follow my blog (if you haven't already done so).
2. Grab my bubbly button and post it on your sidebar.
3. Link your URL below.
4. Follow at least 1 linkyer/blogger (Pay it forward is the name of the game).
5. The list will be open for linkyers on Fridays (I've extended the closing time by the way, to accommodate my non-aussie peeps).
6. A new and fresh link list will open every Friday. And you will have to link up AGAIN. The previous link list does not carry over to the following week.
7. And lastly, have lotsa fun!

It's the little things

Just when you think things are crappy something comes along to slap you back in your box and say "Hey, chicky, be grateful for what you got, OK?"
Oh, alright, that's my weird-arse inner voice saying that and threatening to slap me silly six ways from Sunday when I'm in danger of wallowing in Mother Guilt.
And let me just say that inner voice sounds suspiciously like my mother in full flight.
Not pretty.

Smiting the obvious and an Autism doco

I think I've survived the roller coaster ride we've been on these past few days.
All the body parts seem to be working although the brain has turned to slush and I cannot for the life of me summon up the name of a Goddess worthy of calling upon to smite the lazy mental health 'professionals' *ahem* .
But we'll leave that until Murphy's Law dictates that right in the middle of a formal dinner I'll remember and blurt it out as Someone Vaguely Important is sharing their lifelong secrets with me.
Over steamed asparagus.

Anzac parade

Today my boy proudly marched in the ANZAC Day parade through the city with his grandfather and myself, all dressed up in his suit and tie (which he'd insisted on) and he didn't lose his cool.
Not once.
Well...not if you count the day after he managed to get out of bed following the umpteen naggings from Yours Truly for him to shift his carcass.
Oh, yes, we're doing the 'sleep in all day if we could' male teen thing.
And female teen thing.
And if we're going to be entirely honest anyone over the age of 2 thing, I suppose.

Aspie social

So, Aspie teen waltzed off into the dark night with his dad.
Pouring rain did not dampen his enthusiasm to join the Aspie social support group.
Nor did it dampen his nerves.
At one stage during the day he began babbling 19 to the dozen, tripping over his own words and not waiting for answers.

Ignorance is not bliss

When the diagnosis came down the pipe and we got the brand-new shiny label stuck on our child's forehead we went looking for answers to the squillions of questions that were rampaging through our minds.
I don't think I stopped reading or researching once we'd got our heads around the meaning behind the label; books and news articles were recommended from friends and chased up, diets and vitamin supplements researched then discussed with doctors, biographies and autobiographies read and discussed at length.
Heck, I even (briefly) researched freakazoid Bettelheim and his 'refrigerator mother' concept just to have information to fight the ignorance still lingering today which is his destructive legacy to those on the Spectrum.