Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I'm scared

Have been under a whole heap of hurting pressure recently.
My Dad's health is failing, I need new specs cos my eyesight has gone south even further but it's the Aspie teen that this post is about.
Only silver lining was tonight's successful GFDF conversion of this self-saucing chocolate pudding here - I substituted the milk for fruit juice, flour for Healtheries GF baking mix and the butter for oil.
Yeah, I got all a'quiver over chocolate *snort*.
Aspie teen has not been 'quite himself' since his major meltdown of several weeks ago; his mind is not engaged, his focus is off-kilter and it's like all the autistic traits have become magnified.
His impulse control is broken, his meds don't seem to be clicking in and conversations are running off into different tangents.
We've finally got in to see a medical professional to get an assessment started, thank the flipping Goddess on high, but it's like the kid's been holding onto the last shreds of control and now that he's started seeing someone he's relaxing the grip on those reins.
Which scares me beyond silly.
I'm sitting here putting on a 'normal' face for hubby and my Dad so they don't freak, to the teenager babbling nonsense (who was studying at uni only 2 weeks ago) I show the 'normal, calm mummy' face so he doesn't freak out, either.
Cos he's all on the defensive when I even casually ask him anything about his thoughts, his behaviours, his driving urges, etc.
What do you say to a teen who has forgotten they've literally-not-2-seconds-earlier just got off a bus at a bus stop only to turn around, look at the bus stop sign and complain that "We've walked past the bus stop how are we going to catch a bus, now?"
Then almost 2 mins later, after the explanation, again ask "But, where are we going to catch a bus from?"
This shit scares me.


Mistress B said...

huge hugs.

Hoping they find an explanation quick smart.

Andrew said...

Just a thought, but at his age, hormones would be racing, maybe upsetting his equilibrium.

Lisa said...

uh oh. Doesn't sound good. Have you got an emergency number on speed dial for the assessment doctor? Just in case.

D'you think it's related to the major meltdown? Are his medications stable? Could it be, I dunno, was holding it together, had meltdown, scared himself shitless, decided not worth trying to hold it together?

Sorry, chucking out random ideas.

Have an 'absolutely no pressure' week and see if it changes anything? Couldn't hurt, as it doesn't seem like he's up for much at the moment.

Argh, I hate that we know so little about the workings of the human brain.

Anonymous said...

I got nothing but hugs....

Valerie Foley said...

Oh geez, Ro...

I hope some clarity comes out of this couple of weeks. It's a tough 'chemical' time for the best wired, NT-est of them... But navigating through this just isn't easy.

Thanks for the pudding recipe. That's never a bad thing.

Ro said...

Thanks, all xxx
Just send loads of chocolate and life jackets, and I think we may need distress flares.

Devi said...

*hugs and chocolate* That is a lot of scary, Ro. I hope you get a light at the end of the tunnel from the assessment.

Anonymous said...

I had so many random 'could it be's' to throw at you too when I first read this, but wasn't sure if I should...
One thing that really sprung to mind, aside from hormones, was vitamin D deficiency.

I hope thing settle down for you all soon,