Here I am, stuck in the middle with ewe

So, we hit the train travel thingie again and was having a delightful snoring session so loudly I drowned out the train engine and made the conductor check if we'd been invaded by those vuvuzelas from the World Cup doze until just before Ballan when the train had to sit and wait for 15 mins for another train to chug the other way.
Seriously, the weather was nasty but the scenery was easy on the eye, as you can see to the right >>>.
Not so when you're stuck in the rail yards only a bee's dick from your final destination, what the heck is that all about?
The train drivers have a competition to see who can frustrate commuters the most?
"Try zis on my lufflies, Bwahahahahahahaha," chuckles the maniacal old train driver aka the Madman in tails and top hat who once tied Damsels in Distress to train tracks.
Or something.
Seeing as we sit in the rail yards until we grow old every day, how about they convert those empty factories alongside the tracks and give us a really condensed version of Hamlet or Othello in under 5 mins.
I can guarantee you the chatter around the water cooler won't be who ditched who during a very wrong double entendre on Dancing with The Stars, it'll be,
"Man, did you see Swan Lake from the delayed 7.45am this morning? Amazing!"
"Nah, I was three carriages back, we got the contemporary hip hop version of The Merry Widow. Brilliant!"
"Hey, I think I'll smash my alarm clock tonight, word on the street is they're doing the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet when they delay the 6.53am tomorrow. Pass it on!"
Ahhhhh, bless.
Bringing more culture to the people than a mere tub of yoghurt.