Watched the interview with Patti and Bert Newton tonight and I so identified.
I know how Patti feels angry at her son but the anger is masking the feeling of helplessness.
The same as Bert saying that they, naturally, love and support their son but in no way condone his actions.
I've been there - am still there, to some extent - with my daughter.
Like the Newtons we took our daughter, who'd had 'difficult behaviour' since toddler hood (read typical Aspie traits) to specialists who diagnosed depressive illnesses, possible bi polar, etc, etc, etc.
And y'know what I've been saying to the Other Half all weekend?
"I reckon it's the same as Female Offspring*, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. We knew and she knew everything that needed to happen but making her do it when she didn't want to was a whole different ballgame."
The Other Half grunted in agreement.
He grunts a lot.
He's economical like that.
So, seems we're all in the same boat.
Kids who, infinitely, think that not only did their generation invent sex but that mum and dad have nooooooo idea what they're banging on about in the back seat of the 57 Chevy.
Yes, Virginia, we know how to hide the frangers in the upholstery - we invented it.
Mirrors on the ceiling?
Our grandparents were doing that back in the 1920s.
Seems we're all chanting the same refrain - LISTEN to your parents.And if you don't want to listen to your parents then LISTEN to the specialists we drag you to.
Because your 30 bajillion 'friends' on MyFaceTweet sure as shit sticks to a blanket DO NOT have the freaking answers.
Really.
I'm pretty certain the only medical influence they got from their packet of cereal this morning involved choking the S bend.
I get that they have to make their own mistakes to learn from life, yada yada yada, but when they screw up their lives and then start screwing up things for people around them surely there's a voice inside their head saying
"Whoa! That line we should never cross is eleventy hundred miles behind us now... We've screwed up bigtime."
But it's not.
I think, sadly, Patti and Bert Newton are in the same place as thousands of parents have been; they aren't the first and sure as shit they won't be the last.
Let's hope every screwed up kid lives long enough to mature to the point they can accept their mental illness, that they can embrace the fucker and own it, rather than letting it own them.
Own it, name it and wear the badge with pride; don't hide the damn thing behind illegal drugs and drink.
This is 2010, FFS people, let's be open and honest about mental illness so that those diagnosed with it have not one freaking iota to feel the need to be ashamed.
And let's get a REAL mental health system in place, just for once, please?
*Names have been changed to protect the public from screaming cat fights
4 comments:
It's hard when all that effort goes into someone but they won't just do that 'little bit' to get there :(
Best of Luck!
Oh RO, I know this is such a serious post but your take on things is....frankly.......HILARIOUS!
You've made some brilliant observations here and I know I will be referring back to you when MY kids reach their teen years....
A REAL mental health system will only happen when someone high up in government has occasion to need one.
My alcoholic, been-in-trouble-with-police-many-times son seems to be walking a straighter path these days. his last stint in jail might have opened his eyes a bit, finally.
Love that you husband is 'economical', my husband finds that to be a wise course of action (sometimes!). Long way to go with regard to respect and ownership for mental health issues, worldwide! Jen
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