Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Swearing...and crap...and shitty stuff...see? Swearing. I told you so.

Here I am...again.
No, trying desperately for some jocularity but failing miserably.
So, I mightn't.
Try, that is.
It's worse prattling crap that is no where close to being funny.
So you just get the crap.
2 hospital visits, one on Sunday the other today.
Police were involved, too, with capsicum spray at the ready.
Again.
One thing different...knives were involved today.
Knives that have lived on a magnetic strip screwed to the kitchen wall for years HIGH up above our heads and the trusty Stanley knife in the shed.
Until Aspie teen had his growth spurt and is just taller than me.
Kitchen knives now locked in ugly orange toolbox, with an ugly padlock, tucked away out of sight under the kitchen bench.
No injuries, no skin broken, no blood happened...but only because his father scared him into dropping the first one and wrestled the second one off him.
Numb.
I feel numb...not so much as when someone dies but like everything is at a distance, like the old proverbial of looking at life through the bottom of a bottle.
Or...something.
Cos, apart from the knives, he's hearing voices.
Has been for ages.
But good old Denial is more than a river in Egypt and if you keep denying it those voices might disappear.
Yeah, when pigs fly backwards to the moon on Sundays for fresh fish from China.
Is he psychotic?
Probably, going by the behaviour and paranoid claims we've had thrown at us (along with the claw hammer, shoes, utensils, etc).
Is it schizophrenia?
Is it anxiety?
Is it the full moon turning blue in the 3rd house of Saturn when Taurus passes through the 2nd quarter?
Who freaking knows.
All I know is that those on the Autistic Spectrum do have the potential to start waltzing up close and personal with a mental illness, of any sort, variety and style.
Gotta love mental illness, it's an equal opportunity bullshit artist c**t.

10 comments:

Devi said...

*hugs* *Hugs* and more *HUGS*

Devi said...

To all three of you.

Madmother said...

Oh f#ck. No other words. Am here if you need to scream. Wish I was closer with medicinal alcohol.

Anonymous said...

Shit Ro... I have no words. I am feeling for you all... and I can only offer you hugs as Devi has. I know you do everything you can, every single day, day in and day out. Tumultuous, un provoked, unable to know what is going to happen next. ... I wish you more good days ahead xoxo
Cazzie

fiona2107 said...

I also don't know what to tell you except reassure you that we all care even if we can't physically do something. Hugs xxx

Cheryl D. said...

Ro, I'm so sorry that your family is going through this! Hug!

Frogdancer said...

Holy hell.

Is he still in hospital? If so, that medicinal alcohol sounds like a damned good idea.

JahTeh said...

Any sign of this in Dunolly? He seemed to be calm in the country but knives, very scary.

Myst_72 said...

I'm so sorry Ro :(

What happens now?

G
xx

River said...

Oh no! This is very scary. I'm afraid for you and your hubby. I'm afraid too that things may get to the point where your boy has to be locked away for his and others safety.
My L went for the knife once, but aimed it at himself not me.