Saturday, January 21, 2012

I iz a'scared

I'm drowning.
There is so much ready to pounce on us in the coming months it feels like everything is LOOMING over us like a teetering tower of monster blocks about to splat us under the weight.

Return to school, return to the Risperdone, Feral Aspie having anxiety attacks at Every.Little.Thing in his daily routine including using public transport and snapping his Myki card in half yet again - those suckers cost $10 a pop to replace, we've replaced 2 so far with a 3rd on the horizon cos Metcards are being phased out.
Return to Feral Aspie being bullied,  misunderstanding others' social meanings,  not hearing/processing what is said to him, getting hold of the wrong end of the stick and/or missing complete instructions from teachers.
He gets a free netbook through the school this year - I am FREAKING that he'll vague out and leave it on the bus, drop it, put it down to tie his shoelaces then walk off without it, play rugby with it (don't laugh, he played rugby while his broken arm was in a cast. And wondered why it hurt even more.It may have been the reason he had to have surgery to straighten the break.).

He turns 16 at the end of this year, which means we have to apply for adult carers allowance for him, which means we have to fill in a forest of paperwork and jump through hoops.
And plus HE'S TURNING 16.
He already thinks he knows everything (yes, he does, if we're cataloguing dinosaurs, transformers, Hot Wheels cars, the family of arachnids and Minecraft).

Now there's news articles detailing how those with high functioning autism will lose their diagnosis, how Aspergers will disappear into being lumped into the autism umbrella, the scare-mongering is running rife.
In the long run there's going to be an ugly transition period where parents are going to have to fight to retain their kids original diagnosis, if only to claw back the measly few pennies they are granted to 'assist' with their child's disability.
Cos the freaking label might suddenly disappear like smoke when this new book gets published but the freaking disability doesn't.

I.Am.Drowning in a sea of anxiety, worry, panic attacks and all I can see when I try to look forward is a swirling black mess.


Eccentricess said...

Too many 'too bigs'. *hugs*

Madmother said...

Can I sit in the corner and hyperventilate with you? Similar yet different reasons, but same emotions. xx

Myst_72 said...

I understand so much of what you have written here.
Especially the carers allowance thing. It's just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. How the hell does turning 16 change anything?
And the criteria is completely different. I just didn't bother.
What will happen if he loses the netbook?
I mean would you have to replace it?

So sorry you to deal with so much at once.


Myst_72 said...

*have to deal with so much at once

Myst_72 said...

Actually I was just thinking he should qualify for a disability pension. Wa-ay more to fill out, more to go through but worth a try xx

River said...

Like Myst said, he probably would qualify for a disability pension. I was also just thinking how much easier it was many years ago when my mum applied for an invalid pension for my sister J is mentally challenged without the autism or aspergers, and disability pensions weren't around then, so she qualified for an invalid pension from age 16. She turns 63 this week. All mum had to do was show J's school reports where she'd repeated every grade from grade 3 onwards two or three times until she finally completed grade 5 at age 15. I think there was also an IQ test involved.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

onomatopoeia my love.

Deb said...

I'm sorry this is all hitting you. I'm sure you haven't been posting because you're obviously busy, I hope that it is getting better.