Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Carved in concrete

I just tried explaining the Welcome to Holland analogy to my Aspie teen who sort of got it after I went through it step-by-step.
That's the thing - he studies at uni level yet he still doesn't quite catch the unspoken that we neurotypicals all automatically understand.
And that is where we still have some breakdowns in communication.

When people accuse Auties/Aspies of lying they do themselves as well as those on the Spectrum a great disservice.
They don't lie in the sense of someone trying to avoid blame or responsibility but are telling the truth in their concrete fashion as they know it.
I ask my son if he's participated on discussion boards - he answers yes.
I then need to clarify the question more - has he participated on his Uni discussion boards this week?
Then he may answer no.
Then I need to ask when was the last time he participated on the boards - he might answer last week.
Did he actually write on the boards?
Why not?
He didn't feel like he had anything to contribute as he agreed with everything that was said.
Then I must explain about leaving a comment showing agreement with the discussion or offer a thank you for food for thought or some small remark to show that he has been reading the discussion.
He cannot understand the need for small chitchat like this but I must explain that it is to show he has been present,  the comment shows that he has read and comprehended what others were saying.
Some tutors have been shocked to have a 13 yr old in their classes but, on the whole, they have all been supportive.
I just need to remember that he might be averaging distinctions at Uni but it's still the little things that trip him up.

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