Thursday, January 13, 2011

Peter Pan Aspie

I still have trouble getting my head around the fact Aspie teen will never be 'normal', nor that he will have a fully independent life as you and I know.
Two steps forward, one step back: he's actually been looking at his distance ed website and trotting through all the study groups but another couple of major meltdowns last night and this morning saw us back at square one.
Why the meltdowns?
Who frigging knows.
He says he was suddenly scared by me calling out to hubby in another room (which we do every.single.day) although he'd had a moment earlier in the day and briefly refused to keep his appointment with his (long-known) psychologist.
Pressure?
Anxiety?
Yep, but we get lulled into a false sense of security when he's sitting on the couch watching telly then suddenly explodes for no apparent reason.
It doesn't help the psychologist told us she'd had another Aspie boy in, same age, trying to control his rage attacks.
Hellloooo, deja vu, I think we've been on this merry go round before....although I think we forgot to get off.
He cannot cope with most day to day social things - he actually walked to the nearby shop last weekend for the first time on his own.
He was shaking and rocking afterwards.
He says he doesn't mind supermarkets yet he has to go dig holes in the backyard or hammer pieces of wood to relax after we've tackled one.
He says he gets scared at our voices, that smells make him angry, people looking at him wrong upset him and, of course, he argues with the tv when the presenter states something that is incorrect.
Most times he can pass for a NT and then it all falls to shit.
We relax after 2 days of reasonable behaviour and then ka-boom, the house is smashed, hubby is pummeled and the dam bursts with floods of tears, shaking, rocking, grunting and tight, clinging hugs as he's scared himself with his behaviour, not to mention the gaps in his memory as he can't exactly remember what it was that he did.
He has a monstrously high IQ yet he cannot cope with mundane things.
This is my wonderful, fantastic, beautiful kid, who will forever be a kid.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just do not have anything constructive to say to you... nope, nothing... I feel for you all and I know you do everything that you think is right at the time.. and then things.. change... I can only send you hugs. xoxo
Cazzie

Chookie said...

Things in this world -- they just aren't right. Hugs.

Madmother said...

I hear ya. But I wonder if it will be Boy 2 in this position, not Boy 1. At the moment Boy 1 is the calm in a sea of angry over-reaction.

Andrew said...

No doubt some people with experience will have some wise words. I have none. But there has to be a key to it. There is something very simple that no one picks up on.

Mary Paddock said...

It helps if we parents of Aspies remember that two steps forward and one back is still progress.

It is exasperating. Sometimes I almost forget that I am living with an Aspie and then he does one of those odd things that he does, obsessing over something that makes no sense to anyone else, or falls apart over something that leaves me scratching my head and I am forced to remember that he is still a stranger to the world the rest of us live in, and while he does a pretty good imitation of the natives here, he isn't one.

River said...

I have no words to help, this makes me sad.
Is it possible things might settle a bit once the teen hormones settle?

Beet said...

You know I know.

hugs.

wish there was something I could say.