I still have trouble getting my head around the fact Aspie teen will never be 'normal', nor that he will have a fully independent life as you and I know.
Two steps forward, one step back: he's actually been looking at his distance ed website and trotting through all the study groups but another couple of major meltdowns last night and this morning saw us back at square one.
Why the meltdowns?
Who frigging knows.
He says he was suddenly scared by me calling out to hubby in another room (which we do every.single.day) although he'd had a moment earlier in the day and briefly refused to keep his appointment with his (long-known) psychologist.
Yep, but we get lulled into a false sense of security when he's sitting on the couch watching telly then suddenly explodes for no apparent reason.
It doesn't help the psychologist told us she'd had another Aspie boy in, same age, trying to control his rage attacks.
Hellloooo, deja vu, I think we've been on this merry go round before....although I think we forgot to get off.
He cannot cope with most day to day social things - he actually walked to the nearby shop last weekend for the first time on his own.
He was shaking and rocking afterwards.
He says he doesn't mind supermarkets yet he has to go dig holes in the backyard or hammer pieces of wood to relax after we've tackled one.
He says he gets scared at our voices, that smells make him angry, people looking at him wrong upset him and, of course, he argues with the tv when the presenter states something that is incorrect.
Most times he can pass for a NT and then it all falls to shit.
We relax after 2 days of reasonable behaviour and then ka-boom, the house is smashed, hubby is pummeled and the dam bursts with floods of tears, shaking, rocking, grunting and tight, clinging hugs as he's scared himself with his behaviour, not to mention the gaps in his memory as he can't exactly remember what it was that he did.
He has a monstrously high IQ yet he cannot cope with mundane things.
This is my wonderful, fantastic, beautiful kid, who will forever be a kid.