Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Ausblogcon lightbulb moments and Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings!

This weekend just gone I ranned away to Sydney to the Aussie Bloggers Conference and, not only did I recharge my mental batteries by socialising with Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings! (who didn't suddenly chuck a wobbly and have a meltdown at my feet....although they were more than welcome to, I was so freaking nervous I'd have probably stepped over them and given them a time out in my vagueness *snort*)...

But anywho!
I got to meet some fanTABulous people who I've been reading for umpteen gazillion years, they are all wonderful.
Yes, they're Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings!
(Does it show that I don't get out much...?)

Something...well, several things 2 speakers in particular made a point of mentioning rang bells with me.
The first was to be careful what you blog - heck, sure we all think we're being careful but hindsight is always 20:20 and looking back over some of the confidences I've shared about Aspie teen there are a number of things he could easily misconstrue or see in a completely wrong light.
Cos the internet is forever.
Will he wonder, in years to come, if I loathed him at those times?
Did I, perhaps, write these posts as payback for his personal mental hell we've travelled with him?
The answer is, of course, no to both of these hypothetical questions but it needs to be made clear.

Another point was made by a chickybabe with a fabulously wicked wit and manner, Carly - she was, essentially, talking about how people think they know all about her medical condition just by watching a single doco when it actually varies from person to person, her comment was ;
"Only the person with the condition can really explain or discuss it."

And it hit home that while I might babble about what my son is going through from a parents perspective only he can really explain/explore what is happening.
I can certainly tell you how many walls he's smashed, how he's burned up enough calories in a single meltdown to make a weight loss company CEO green with envy or how we're all on tenterhooks just waiting for the next upset.
Yes, I can babble that crap til the cows come home but I cannot slip inside my boy's wonderfully fragile head and tell you how he thinks, what he thinks about, what irritates him, what makes him happy, all that guff.
Only he can do that.

So, having a little cry on the bus on the way home on Monday morning (after I'd cleverly tucked the free Kleenex tissues in my backpack that was in the luggage compartment under the bus *snort*) I thought about how I needed to discuss with Aspie teen about him joining this blog.
He has said yes but there are no promises as to when or what he will blog; he's finding the demands of distance ed quite difficult (even doing only 4 subjects) and anxiety-causing on most days.
We have sat and chatted about what I've written, some days I have asked him if I can mention certain incidents, other gut-wrenching things I've deliberately omitted cos there is no need to share some of the really graphic crap with you (and neither Aspie teen or myself would thank me for doing so).
Taking each day as it comes and, most probably, we'll be returning to home schooling where he can feel more in control and enjoy learning again.
And he might blog.


Ðéví said...

I'd love to hear Aspie teen's thoughts, especially love to read you both write about the same incident. He has my full support.

It has always come through to me that you love him when you post, and are trying to share what you go through each day because YOU need to be able to express yourself.

I'l be interested to see if people who don't know you both IRL see it the same way.

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

It was lovely to meet you.
I am very careful what I blog now - because the internet is forever.

It is hard to be 100% authentic and honest when it involves other people who may not consent to what we feel or write about them.

katepickle said...

I think the fact that you are thinking about what your blog in this regard means that you won't cross your own personal line of what is ok.

For the record I've never got the vibe that you are trying to say what your young man is feeling or coping with, but rather what you are feeling and coping with. It's always been written with love and I think that is positive for many readers and perhaps even for your teen one day.

Cheryl D. said...

It sounds like you had a blast! I'm going to my first blogging conference this summer. I can't wait!

Mad Cow said...

Real! Live! Adult! Human Beings! I'm proud of you! I don't get out much & I shall be careful what to blog, thank you!! Remind Aspie teen, if he should see &/or misconstrue your words, that he is your life, it is your love of him which has caused you to put finger-to-keyboard. Your view, your thoughts, perhaps not the same perspective as himself, but no malice intended xxx

Ro said...

Thank you, Mz Devi, you know how to cut right to the matter :) xx

Trish, it is hard, despite our love for our families.
Loved meeting you xx :)

Thank you, Kate, you've reassured me a great deal with that context :) xxx

Cheryl, you'll love it, if they run it like the Aussie one :)

Mad Cow, wooooot!
So glad to see you blogging, gal, and thank you! xxxx

Wanderlust said...

Wasn't it fitting that Kleenex sponsored the event? I think we all went through half a box at least.

It was lovely to meet you, even if it was unfortunately brief! There's always next year. x

River said...

I'd love to read whatever your boy chooses to blog about, if he should decide to do so.
I made the decision right from the beginning not to write about my family, because I know they all value their privacy as much as I do, probably more, so this won't be such a big issue for me.

Carly Findlay said...

Thanks for the mention - and I am glad some of my speech resonated with you. I hope I didn't offend you at all. I think it's great you are blogging your experiences, but I also maintain the belief that someone's illness is theirs to tell.

Good luck with your son joining the blog. I hope he finds benefit in telling his own story.

Keep in touch :)