Saturday, April 16, 2011

The 'precious' and inflexible cow doth moo once more

I'm over the previous crap.
Well, that's not true; you don't get over someone dismissing your child's difficulties, invalidating and disrespecting what they're going through, that whole rude intolerance thing some people have going on.
Like the troglodytes who claimed myself and gazillions of others were idiots, morons, insert-any-name-here...calling the victims or the carers of the victims 'precious' and inflexible.
Hmmm, I'm pretty certain that's called bullying.
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So, I'm being all 'precious' and inflexible with this dying father thing.
It's not something I'd recommend for a school holiday activity...although you could always coax the kiddies into cleaning grandpa's dentures by telling them the tooth fairy will give them a bonus payment next time the thug two doors down the street knocks out a molar in a 'friendly' game of footy.

Sure, they'll squirm and squeal but just offer the ultimatum for them to clean the other end of Grandpa instead and in no time at all those pearly whites will be glistening.

You could start teaching them manual lifting techniques; there's no telling when they may need to lift Daddy/Grandma/Great Aunt Maud or Fluffy the Warthog up off the floor following a heavy night of celebrating.
Plus it also covers physical activity, is considered a weight lifting exercise meaning you can look the teacher firmly in the eye next term and claim you had the little dears working out like sweaty Russian midgets in a Siberian saltmine.

And earn admiring kudos from the PTA clique; you know those perfumed peroxided chicks will be grinding their oh-so-expensively capped teeth and stamping their Diana Ferrari shod tootsies in frustration.
Score!

And, finally, your kids get to have a close up look at Death.
Death is not pretty; sometimes Death is peaceful, occasionally it is quiet, most times there is pain/discomfort/moaning, groaning agony from the dying person who's body is ceasing to function.

Your kids get the pleasure of watching pressure areas form, they get to learn that emollient creams slapped on with gay abandon might help prevent some wounds but it won't stop all wounds/blisters developing without constant repositioning/hygiene care/pressure area care.

They can learn about peripheral shutdown - when their beloved family member turns into an extra from the Smurf movie.

No longer will they call you senile when faced with the real deal as Great Uncle Max tries to take a leak on the award winning patchwork quilt hanging on the wall...or when Grandma runs nekkid through the street while screeching "I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Try explaining to the kids there is no reboot or system restore on the dying person, no software update to correct the design flaw, no hardware spare part to replace, no bigger, better, newer version to rush out and buy.
Phones, computers, iPods, houses....material possessions are all replaceable.
People are not.
Your kids will take a most valuable lesson away with them these school holidays.
And should they whine even just once, get all 'precious' and inflexible with their pocket money.

5 comments:

Ðéví said...

My Preeeecccccccciooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuusssssnessssssss.

It's a very hard life lesson and one that you are certainly seeing full on in the face. I send comfort vibes in the hope that he continues to cope with something happening that has scared him for so long. And you.

I've been meaning to call and mention this, but the phone has become a big scary thing so I'll post it here.
I just started drinking clove tea (with cinnamon and cardamon) and in les than four days, my circulation has upped itself to the point where I have warm fingertips for the first time in my life. I wondered if it might help your Dad's comfort for these last few days?

Jayne said...

Ooooo!
I'll give it a go, thanks! :)

River said...

Life lessons such as these are hard. (If I start running nekkid through the streets my K has been asked to shoot me).

I've had warm fingertips all my life. I'm the one people warm their hands on in the middle of winter at work.

Happy Elf Mom said...

Prayers are with you today... you are right that there are some things that cannot be replaced. :(

Cheryl said...

I'm never quite sure whether to laugh or cry when I come here, but I certainly admire. I admire your "tell it as it is" approach that most duck away from. Good on you Ro. Stopped by to let you know I've started a multiple part series on Merrilyn the kangaroo - part 1 up now. It may add some light relief to your day, but then again some episodes will require tissues! Sorry it's taken so long to get started.