Rang Autism Victoria and got some help at last!
Some plainly spoken, commonsense suggestions to help us navigate the maze of puberty and the spectrum with Tourette's, OCD, ADHD and Goddess knows what else the kid has on board.
Had some blunt conversations with Aspie teen, also, and sorted out a system for him to learn to recognise the stress indicators in his own body - like sweaty palms, toes/fists clenched, frowning, heart racing, breathing faster, snapping or speaking rudely, etc.
He claimed to know what the indicators are at first but when we sat him down and got him to discuss it properly he admitted that he didn't really know, that he just finds himself exploding without warning, scaring himself into the bargain which feeds his stress and anxiety even more.
He's a clever clogs and knows what the 'correct' or expected answers to most questions are so he rattles them off, yakking on about things that never happened, conversations that never occurred and events that are very different in everyone else's memory to that of his.
The 'correct' answers thing is ingrained from mainstream school where he wanted to fit in desperately so...you give the expected answer and fudge your way through so that you don't stand out, that you're the same as the rest of the herd.
Like claiming to know, at first, what the stress indicators are; he told me what he thought was the 'correct' answer and what he thought I wanted to hear rather than admit he was as lost as the rest of us.
He's gone from a great communicator to a kid who babbles incoherent prattle in the midst of a meltdown and who cannot remember clearly what happened.
Which is common.
He claims to remember - cos this is the 'correct' or 'expected' answer - but he has great gaps missing in his memory.
And It Is Common!!!!!!
The stress and anxiety that causes the meltdown feeds the fear and it continues to build - and not recalling all of it is very common due to the high anxiety levels, even in the aftermath when he might appear settled and calm.
Autism Victoria is a bloody wonderful body who have helped us out several times and may have given me a little bit of sanity back.