Redecorating via The Spectrum

Oh look!
It's 2 minutes past the witching hour and moi is still awake!

"Midnight, one more night without sleepin'
Watchin', till the morning comes creepin'
Green door, what's that secret you're keepin'?"

C'mon, you know the words!
If old age has poked holes in your grey matter you can cheat and slip over here and do a quick refresher.
You're welcome for the ear-worm *insert wicked laughter*


Meanwhile....things are somewhat quieter here, that could be that Feral Aspie Teen has taken onboard tools to help him connect with his emotions (something that most Auties/Aspies have difficulty with).
Or he's just run out of plaster walls to batter.
Or his parents singing operas of Prisoner (the tv series) has traumatised the poor possum into silence *snort*


We're thinking outside the square to repair the walls....was going to go with wood panelling (Helloooooo, mid-1970s style!) but I'm thinking more corrugated iron....decorated steel mesh....stainless steel....industrial look....
Annnnd then we have the hard rubbish drive happening in the next month or so around these parts...
Whaaaaa?
I'm just sayin'.
Recycling...reusing....saving moolah....saving those poor hard rubbish collectors from injuring their backs....

Another year down, only 40 bajillion to go

In looking back over 2010 I'm struck by a few things.
That a few in-law rellies, who previously laughed shrugged off Aspie teen's Autism and Aspergers were forced to confront it a little closer to home in their own beloved grandchildren.
But when they shared the diagnosis with me I unintentionally gave them the cold shoulder they'd given me.
Because I was/am exhausted.
I admire those who have been on this journey for years, decades, and still find the energy to help, educate, assist others who are new to this road we all walk.
But as I've been forced to rely on no one else but myself and the Spouse I've had to direct my energy towards my own son and this is where I'm at, tired and unable to summon up much more than sympathetic noises for the rellies.
They probably think I'm a rude cow but, meh, I cannot give them what I do not have.
I bought a monthly magazine which had a tea towel with the classic slogan "Keep calm and carry on".

 

It's pinned up on my kitchen wall as my new motto, a reminder to not get upset, to not react, to stay burbling under the surface and appear heavily sedated serene to all.
Now that we finally have assistance with Aspie teen I'm able to relax a little and not be hypervigilant because, at long last, someone is listening.
It is such a huge weight off my shoulders, I feel I can keep calm and carry on into the New Year!
Although....if I seem too sedated just nudge me with your foot, 'k?

As we launch ourselves towards 2011, I wish each and every one of you lovely people the very best that the future has to offer and as few bumps in the road towards your goals.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bye Bye Homeschooling

Homeschooling is now a thing of the past in this house.
We've done it for 4 years and it was the best thing for our child for that time.
But.
Once he started Uni last year the genie was out of the bottle and it's been difficult to get him to settle back into homeschooling while he's taken a break from Uni.
And while his anxieties have climbed sky high.
The battles over schoolwork are just.not.worth.it.
So, we're hoping to enroll him in Distance Education Centre for next year.
He needs someone, other than myself, teaching him.
I'll be able to guide and support him at home but as a parent, not mum-teacher-lecturer-curriculum maker-excursion planner-person-to-argue-semantics-with all rolled into one.
Homeschooling is great; we are so lucky here in Victoria we are able to have that option to explore for our children when other mainstream schooling options are not suitable, but people change and Aspie teen has grown, matured and his needs are now different.
Like all things in life nothing is forever and this is the end of a chapter in our lives but also the beginning of another, newer, one next year.
Now we just need to fill in a bajillion forests' worth of paperwork and get things organised for him to be enrolled!

Let there be light

Rang Autism Victoria and got some help at last!
Some plainly spoken, commonsense suggestions to help us navigate the maze of puberty and the spectrum with Tourette's, OCD, ADHD and Goddess knows what else the kid has on board.
Had some blunt conversations with Aspie teen, also, and sorted out a system for him to learn to recognise the stress indicators in his own body - like sweaty palms, toes/fists clenched, frowning, heart racing, breathing faster, snapping or speaking rudely, etc.
He claimed to know what the indicators are at first but when we sat him down and got him to discuss it properly he admitted that he didn't really know, that he just finds himself exploding without warning, scaring himself into the bargain which feeds his stress and anxiety even more.
He's a clever clogs and knows what the 'correct' or expected answers to most questions are so he rattles them off, yakking on about things that never happened, conversations that never occurred and events that are very different in everyone else's memory to that of his.
The 'correct' answers thing is ingrained from mainstream school where he wanted to fit in desperately so...you give the expected answer and fudge your way through so that you don't stand out, that you're the same as the rest of the herd.
Like claiming to know, at first, what the stress indicators are; he told me what he thought was the 'correct' answer and what he thought I wanted to hear rather than admit he was as lost as the rest of us.
He's gone from a great communicator to a kid who babbles incoherent prattle in the midst of a meltdown and who cannot remember clearly what happened.
Which is common.
He claims to remember - cos this is the 'correct' or 'expected' answer - but he has great gaps missing in his memory.
And It Is Common!!!!!!
The stress and anxiety that causes the meltdown feeds the fear and it continues to build - and not recalling all of it is very common due to the high anxiety levels, even in the aftermath when he might appear settled and calm.
Autism Victoria is a bloody wonderful body who have helped us out several times and may have given me a little bit of sanity back.

Junior Masterchef and the Aspie

Of course all of Oz was glued to Junior Masterchef last night.
Weren't you?
Anyway, the Aspie teen, who used to cook bits and bobs after we'd explained cooking was a science experiment with the interaction of chemicals that tasted yum but lost interest after his head injury (hindsight is so 20-20, hmph) was glued to the show.
He commented more on the appearance of the kids, their parents and their names rather than what they cooked, at first.
Typical Aspie it was other things that grabbed his attention instead of the glaringly obvious ones, lol.
After awhile he got into the whole food thing, commenting that he had the same kitchen knife as one of the kids, that the oven settings intimidated him (after one boy set the griller instead of the stove) and he eventually picked up on some of the judges' facial expressions on what was a winner and what they really liked.
One thing Aspie teen was very impressed with was the good sportsmanship shown by the kids towards each other - how they helped each other reaching for ingredients, wished good luck/well done, shook hands, etc.
General overall respect shown to each other.
Was it edited that way?
Probably but heck, who cares!
It was a huge thing to Aspie teen; it modelled ideal behaviour we'd all like to see in all of our kids, it showed kids not afraid to play with home-grown science and maths experiments.
And another, important thing for Aspies - it encouraged him to try new foods!
He had some Baklava from a local, well-regarded cake shop Niko.
Cooking with Maths is a great book that helps combine food with numbers for younger students and gets smaller heads around the whole concept of equations with practical examples.
Another list of fun books to get kids cooking with maths and science is HERE.

I read the news today, oh boy, and are we in a pile of whoopsie!

The news has been astounding us of late.
First there was the news Spring had sprung - which accompanied the news Aspie teen is probably having complex partial seizures brought about by being pushed off a trampoline in January last year but ....
SPRING!!!!
Means.... never having to say you're sorry for blunting the hubby's razor having to shave your legs.
Heck, it's log the new growth forest or listen to the other half complain that the prickly spikes are giving him paper cuts in bed at night.
Boo
Hoo.
We could try for secondary year growth but then we'd probably find infestations of mountain climbers having their wicked way with the hairy spikes and goodness knows where we'd end up if word got out to the Spelunkers about uninhabited caves....
The other major news which has turned our world upside down is....The True Identity of The Stig was revealed!!!!!!
Oh Em Gee.
WTF were they thinking, letting the bloke have a life outside of the BBC tv series?!
For goodness sake, were they mad???
Have they never heard of cages and padlocks????
Any dominatrix could have given them the good oil on the various restraints that are perfectly legal!
Next they'll be telling us Mr Squiggle is a puppet!
Or that Fat Cat had to pay to have His Friends!
And bugger me behind the shelter sheds, Nigel-no-friends....
Now they're teaching the kids that native Aussie fauna can't be gay.
When will this madness end?!

Domestic violence

I'd like to send a big thank you to Matthew Newton.
Thank you, because everyone is talking about violence towards women.
Thank you, because everyone is discussing how it is still not taken seriously enough.
Thank you, because Aspie teen was watching The 7PM Project while they were discussing domestic violence.
Thank you, because he has recognised that he was hitting me in his meltdowns and has equated this as the same as domestic violence.
Thank you, because my 13 yr old Aspie kid has learned that it's not ok to hit women.
Thank you, because if this stops him from this behaviour now then it might stop him from hitting a girlfriend in the future.
I sincerely hope Matthew gets the help he needs and that his former girlfriend recovers quickly but if we can take something, anything positive away from this whole ugly, disgusting mess then it is that other young males get the clear message that it's not ok to hit women.

Wiggling the happy dance on the quiet

Dragged the Aspie offspring off to the paed this morning, he was a tad unwilling as he thought he was going to be in trouble so he impersonated a limpet and wrapped himself around his fathers ankles.
Yeah, his dad thought it was just dandy.
Not.
It's not like his paed is ever angry with anything Aspie kiddo says/does so we peeled him off his fathers legs and got him to the appointment.
Got several things sorted along with the importance of taking his medications every day without the barriers/excuses/waffle he keeps throwing into conversation (which result in meltdowns, big and little) when he's asked to take his meds.
Excuse me while I do a small happy dance over in the corner without the offspring noticing his weird mother too much.
*wiggle it, just a little bit*
Ahem.
So, tomorrow should be hunky dory.
In theory.
Let's see how sturdy theory really is *snort*.

Heads are fragile things

18 months ago my darling Aspie and I were visiting at a friend's house where there are 2 large trampolines.
But no safety mesh.
Can you see where this is going?
The kids were all outside with an adult in the garage eyeballing them.
The kids were loud, it was summer and they were mainly boys.
Next thing we knew they'd come in and Aspie teen was the colour of ivory, complaining of a headache and snappy.
And then he vomited.
Thinking it might be gastro I sat with him out on the porch, cool water and a bucket while I asked for symptoms.
Another boy came out and, with a worried look on his face, wondered if it might have had something to do with Aspie teen hitting his head on the ground after he was pushed off the trampoline and "we thought he was pretending to be asleep for a long time".
A-huh.
Unconsciousness and concussion.
Took him home, then to hospital, then back to hospital for CT scans, then further observations at the hospital, more follow up appointments with doctors who all said everything was clear.
Since then he's become aggressive and we're back to having these meltdowns, something we hadn't had on this scale for quite some time.
I have told everyone; it may be a coincidence or it may not but his behaviour, manner, attitude, temperament and personality had a shift that day after the head injury.
Finally, after hearing our latest battle via the phone someone is starting to listen and take notice.
Maybe.
Not holding my breath.

yoooo-hooooo

Hello, I am back and I will get around to all of your blogs soonest!
I'm trialling a GFDF conversion of a Matt Preston recipe for crumpets tonight for the Aspie teen's brekkie, so will post the whole catastrophe on the morrow if it's successful.

I've bitten the bullet and given in

It's not as drastic as it sounds, really.
I've bitten the bullet and bought a laminator.
They're on special at the moment and it's the one thing I need to plaster signs all over the bathroom for Aspie teen.
Signs like "Brush your teeth!"
"Wash your hair!"
"Have you got a clean towel?"
"Get a towel from the cupboard!"
"Shampoo your hair!"
"Dry between your toes!"
"Get dressed in CLEAN clothes"
Cos the Good Goddess on High knows I'm sick of the sound of my own voice chanting the same things over and over and over and over...
Then I thought I can plaster a few signs up on his bedroom walls and in the kitchen, like,
"Eat your brekkie"
"No Tv while eating brekkie"
"Put the newspaper down and EAT your brekkie"
"Wash your bowl"
"WASH it with water and a sponge"
"Get your medicine"
"Get your medicine, you forgot"
"Don't forget your MEDICINE!"
"Have you swallowed your medicine???"
Then, on the back of the front door I can nail,
"Don't you dare set one foot outside this house unless you've tossed your medicine down your gullet!"

And underneath...

"Yes, I WILL check!!!!"

Happy geeky joy joy

He's in 'a mood' today.
Hyper-sensitive to everything, being uber-concrete in his thinking and processing of what we say, not really engaged in this reality and getting crappy with us for daring to make him focus, to concentrate on the here and now.
Yeah, we're wicked nasty like that.
Even made him prepare his own anti-anxiety medication!
Consisted of him dropping 2 tablets into half a glass of water to dissolve.
Then he had to throw 6 various oil tablets down his gullet.
Simply savage parental units the poor mite suffers with.
He's off to a discussion with scientists tonight on evolution at the Melbourne Museum and he's currently got his 30 mins allowance on his Nintendo.
Geek kid is in his happy place!

Stuff

Have had an interesting day with the kid and spouse.
Both are off doin' their manly man thing of footy training after orthodontist and illustration sessions.
The teeth and the drawing were separate, by the way.
I have me a stalker copycat that borrows behaviours, events and incidents from my life to dramatise its own life. And not just my life but other friends' lives, too.
Aspie teen was outraged at first to hear the hassles he's been struggling with have become fodder for someone else to garner sympathy but he's 'meh' about it now.
He's now off yeast as we've discovered the revolting flatulence was from yeast in bread, even GFDF bread, so the list is growing.
He was proven to be allergic to it when he was little but it was thought he'd outgrow it.
Guess he didn't.
I'm having a horrible thought that he may still have an intolerance to bananas *sob* after mastering the GFDF banana bread muffins of late.
Let's not go there, just yet.
Thank goodness for allergists and paediatricians and specialists who listen and follow through!

Those inner diaries and hidden schedules

He's so full of energy and plans that sometimes he doesn't quite see the need for communication with those outside his own little world.
Today, for instance, he knew he had text book work to do but he went off to make an electromagnet.
No matter what he said, what we said or did, he couldn't concentrate or focus until he'd nutted out the materials he needed, where to find them in the shed, what he needed to buy and how long he'd need to make it.
No particular reason why he wanted to make one.
He just did.
So, after eventually talking through it with me he's agreed to get on with his book work until his father gets home and he can go shopping at the hardware store tomorrow for the bits that he's missing.
After the orthodontist appointment and maybe before the illustration session and well before he heads off to footy training.
We'll have to consult his inner diary just to make sure, though!

Beaufort homeschool excursion & Eltham heritage walk

Good evening, all you uber-sexy cosmonauts surfing the Aspergian highway!
No, I'm not on drugs nor have I opened a bottle of vino.
Had a brilliant couple of days with my boy; flittered off on Friday to Beaufort (near Central Victoria) for a homeschooling excursion on my Dad's, my grandmother's and my great-grandparent's old home ground.
We didn't let the family know we were in town as we wanted to kick around the place anonymously and explore for ourselves (besides several of the older ones have been quite ill and it was easier if they didn't feel they had to have us out to visit, if you get my drift).
The Aspie teen researched as much as he could on Beaufort before we set off and when we hit the community centre we found a fab heritage trail already printed with a map.
Many rural towns are now providing these printed heritage/history trail/walks/tours and are a great resource for visitors; not only are you able to wander about at your own pace learning fascinating bits of history but sometimes these trails lead your off the beaten track and you get to see things you may not have found if you'd stuck to the main thoroughfare.
We explored to our hearts content, found the cemetery and were amazed at the age of the burials; we found an original wooden grave marker, Chinese graves, an Aboriginal grave and some sad forgotten unmarked graves that were only lumps in the dirt.
The heritage map found us the old woollen mills, primary school (where my dad was a sometime pupil with his cousins and where his mother sometimes taught), my great-grandfather's blacksmith forge, the old Primitive Methodist Church which is now a lovely gallery and the fab architecture throughout the town which has been preserved by the sensible recycling of the buildings.
Aspie geek kid had a ball, learning how to use the DSLR, putting his map reading skills and time keeping skills into good use, not to mention him explaining to me how Beaufort came to be founded from his research.
He was totally enthralled to actually eyeball the blacksmith forge, albeit slightly altered, and the large number of original buildings that have survived the wreckers ball/developers.
Then yesterday we toddled off on a heritage walk in Eltham with the Eltham Historical Society; was a lovely time.
We saw Alan Marshall's old home, some great mudbrick houses (one which was designed by Alastair Knox, the Periwinkle House, that now has heritage protection) an old gold reef mining attempt, some fabulous views from the top of mountainous hills we didn't know we were climbing and a few sprinkles of rain that kept us out of mischief.
And a lovely, relaxing day today, spent baking GFDF goodies!

Homeschooling

So many parents of ASD kids are choosing to homeschool these days it's becoming more mainstream than mainstream school itself!
I suppose what we do at home here at the moment could be considered 'unschooling' (explanation HERE) as we see which way Aspie teen is headed, behaviour-wise, for the day.
Some days constant history or science programmes on the tv are enough, particularly when he's having an off day.
Other days he can romp through books completing 2 pages of exercises on each subject.
Our homeschooling excursions each week are a highlight for a visual learner as he can make connections between what he reads/learns about and then sees it for himself.
I've been slowly introducing little extras on each excursion - navigating via GPS then reading a map, working through the list of op shops, even wearing a watch and being the time keeper for the train home.

Doin the Happy Mummy Dance

Aspie teen had a small-ish meltdown this arvo (only mildly jumping on his fathers back and grabbing my wrists with a little swearing) when he stormed off to his room All On His Own.
Without me having to tell him.
And then...are you sitting down?...He Came Back Within 6 mins And Apologised.
Without being prompted.
*is doing the Happy Mummy Dance. There is much wobbling of body parts. You may want to avert your eyes*
This was unheard of a month ago.
This is sooooooooooooo the results of being gluten-free.
I asked him what had made him apologise and he said he didn't really feel as angry as he used to and he felt guilty about his behaviour.
So, the behaviour we're dealing with now is learned behaviour, not the furiously fuelled impulsive anger we had a month ago.
MUCH easier to cope with!
*Warning; Happy Mummy Dance coming up. For several hours*

Ballarat homeschooling excursion

We hit Ballarat while it was bucketing down with rain. Actually the rain barely let up while we were there and it chased us back to Melbourne.
But, hey, the more the merrier to break the drought.
Aspie teen totally loved the In Your Face exhibition at the Art Gallery of Ballarat; political cartoons from 1760-2010, some of them far more risque than what our cartoonists get away with today (very chuckle-inducing, though).

The art gallery is the oldest regional art gallery in Australia and oozes history, it certainly appealed to Aspie teen. He seems more comfortable in an older, historic setting rather than post-modern minimalistic (which he says feels cold to him). We could have spent hours and hours there but we were on a tight time-frame so we will be returning to the art gallery at a future date to continue our love affair with its goodies.

Aspie teen's map reading skills are getting quite a work out on these trips; we picked up a travel booklet which included a map of the CBD of Ballarat and he was able to navigate us correctly to each op shop address I'd written (the fact the list was out of date and the op shops no longer at each address is beside the point, he got us there in one try lol).
We were given directions from a kind lady in one op shop we happened to stumble across and we had a great walk around the streets, eyeballing some fabulous architecture, history and beautiful buildings (with the full trimmings) still mostly intact as they were originally built over 150 years ago.

In all it was a highly successful homeschooling excursion like the last; these weekly trips are proving to be good for him in so many ways, not to mention getting him ready to travel out of Melbourne during school hols to avoid the crowds. He's able to navigate us around strange cities without using the GPS (and without a meltdown), his ability to look for street addresses and work out which side of the street or how far down the street the building may be is becoming better and he's enjoying himself, which is the most important thing in all of this.
So long as he's having fun the learning comes naturally in those circumstances and it stays with him as it's associated with a pleasant time.
We were unable to get to Kirrit Barreet, the Aboriginal cultural centre, but Aspie teen wasn't upset as he's keen to learn about his fathers people, the Dja Dja Wurrung, who are from the Bendigo area and part of the Kulin Nation.
Maybe when we go back again soon we'll get to have a visit there.

This Fool isn't on the hill...yet

My eyesight is worsening (I'm legally blind) and I'm the wrong side of 40.
I don't say this for sympathy but to give you a background of how I view the future for my Aspie teen - coloured in panic.
Until his recent breakdown I thought we were trundling along quite well, that he was progressing, improving, interacting in the wide world with all sorts with nary a problem.
Yes, a rhubarb sweetie dish isn't the only fool in this house.
So, now I join Kelley in worrying for the future for my boy; do parents of those on the Spectrum have a special wall on which they perch, each forever gazing into the distance at the fast approaching Future as the grey hair and worry lines grow?
While the NT people scurry past us, flicking us barely a glance as they celebrate everything their NT child does, giving us only a momentary second of attention wondering, perhaps, at us sitting there.
Do we instinctively know where to find this wall, where to sit, in which order...?
Do we exchange pleasantries with those around us, operating on a first name basis as we will all witness each others children mature and enter adulthood where we will all continue to panic and worry and fret and hyperventilate at the thought that we can not negotiate extra years from Her On High just to supervise our ASD kids safely into late middle age....

The coming of the Aspergians

While we know we have a clever child we have never told him as such.
Yes, it sounds odd but it's not, really.
He knows he has Asperger's, he knows all about the Autism Spectrum, Tourette's, ADHD, OCD, etc, but he doesn't know he is what some call 'gifted'.
Because we have never used that word.
We have always encouraged him in his interests - mummifying the fish at age 9 (which I just found again in the cupboard the other week), completing several archaeological digs on the backyard, building mudbrick pyramid tombs for the deceased chooks (as you do), completing 5 university subjects so far, etc - but we've never referred to him as 'gifted' or 'a genius', he just is.
He knows he can prattle off the names off the geological ages of the Earth, explain what the climate is like on each planet in our solar system, describe the process by which iron ore is formed within the earth and extracted by man but he still takes awhile deciphering analogue time, tying laces is a slow process and his handwriting (like most Aspies) is akin to chicken scratchings.
Some people assume that because he's 'so clever' that everything comes easily to him - it doesn't.
Nor is he a novelty, a nine-day wonder or a freak act in the sideshow of the circus as some people tend to parade their 'gifted' kids.
He is Aspergian, he's an Aspie with ADHD, Tourette's and OCD (don't ever bump his things out of line!!!!!!) and he's my beautifully wired pumpkin-pie who subscribes to the Big Bang theory (and tv show) and thinks most people are bizarre little freakazoids.
No, the Martians won't be taking over; it'll be the Aspergians.
Be afraid, bizarre little freakazoids...be very afraid!