A shower is not a conspiracy...really....

So, we're still alive.
We are black, blue, purple and brindle but we are still breathing.
Or so it's rumoured.
Staying on the quiet, keeping things even...steady....calm....
Sorta like holding back the waves of the ocean with your bare hands.
Yeah, and just as successful *snort*
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Aspie teen has it set in his head that when he has a shower it HAS to be right before he goes to bed.
Not before and certainly not in any morning.
Unless he's got something on....then it takes days to get him psyched into an unscheduled shower.
So, tonight, we managed to talk him into having a hot, soothing shower to ease his aching muscles post-footy match in just 3 hours and without a major hiccup.
Mini meltdown that involved enough heavy breathing and wall-knocking stims that would make any Poltergeist happy certainly but it barely rated an  "oh, crap, not again " in light of recent events so we won't log that one.
Gave him a thorough back rub after the shower with the good old Deep Heat, then he was shocked at how much better his back felt and how much more easily he was able to move.
Yeah, we got vindicated, baby!!!!
Parents don't talk through a hole in their heads, woot!

The pleasures of meeting up with other ASD parents

The Hubby, being on the Spectrum and all that, has slowly let drip bits of info from the Aspie teen social night that I obviously didn't cover in my direct questions.
*pause to roll eyes and snort*
Yeah, anyways, apparently he got talking with the other parents and wow!
Yes, all of their kids fight with their bedding in their sleep til it's in a ball.
Yes, all of their kids have messy rooms.
Yes, all of their kids sleep in their clothes.
Yes, all of their kids sleep curled tightly in the fetal position.
Yes, all of their kids  do not make their beds or tidy their rooms...
Whoa!!!!
None of the Aspie kids clean their rooms, make their own beds or even change their bed linen.
Even though they all have OCD they cannot cope with breaking off their train of thought/routine or incorporating a plan of action into their activities that involves something as mundane as tidying/cleaning.
And none of their parents do it for them, either, unless it's to rake out the smelly bed linen and throw a clean set of sheets on the bed.
From a distance.
Wearing a Hazmat suit.
And having the full Silkwood anti-nuclear shower afterwards.
One mum, an old friend, joked how she almost goes A over T just walking through her son's room with all the power cords and stuff everywhere while another assured Hubby that her daughter's bed was a mess inside 5 mins of her making it and yet another laughed as she told how she learnt to never, ever, ever disturb the things in her daughter and son's rooms, that cleanliness was not worth the increased anxiety - for both her kids and herself.
So, not only do we no longer feel pressured to either tidy the room or somehow get Aspie teen to clean up/make his bed/wear pajamas (without copping a full-on meltdown) but Aspie teen is now happily grinning like the Cheshire Cat saying,
"I'm normal for once!!!!"

I've bitten the bullet and given in

It's not as drastic as it sounds, really.
I've bitten the bullet and bought a laminator.
They're on special at the moment and it's the one thing I need to plaster signs all over the bathroom for Aspie teen.
Signs like "Brush your teeth!"
"Wash your hair!"
"Have you got a clean towel?"
"Get a towel from the cupboard!"
"Shampoo your hair!"
"Dry between your toes!"
"Get dressed in CLEAN clothes"
Cos the Good Goddess on High knows I'm sick of the sound of my own voice chanting the same things over and over and over and over...
Then I thought I can plaster a few signs up on his bedroom walls and in the kitchen, like,
"Eat your brekkie"
"No Tv while eating brekkie"
"Put the newspaper down and EAT your brekkie"
"Wash your bowl"
"WASH it with water and a sponge"
"Get your medicine"
"Get your medicine, you forgot"
"Don't forget your MEDICINE!"
"Have you swallowed your medicine???"
Then, on the back of the front door I can nail,
"Don't you dare set one foot outside this house unless you've tossed your medicine down your gullet!"

And underneath...

"Yes, I WILL check!!!!"

Cooking

My attempts at teaching my darling son to cook are, at times, both frustrating (for him) and a source of immeasurable giggles (for me).
We have chickens; free ranging, egg-laying, bossy, personality-plus chickens ruling the roost (and backyard) with gossipy cackles from sun up til sun down.
When I instructed him to check the inside cavity of the (store bought) chicken he was going to roast he gave me the most horrified look, followed by,
"I'm not looking up its cloaca!"

Food

Braces have given my son the perfect excuse to have his favourite textured food again ; thick, home cooked casserole/stew consistency, soft and undemanding on his mouth, teeth and gums.
Easily chewed without any concentration required so he can zone out, one of his stims.
He has always been overly sensitive with all of his senses, his mouth equally so with food textures.
It goes back to the soft mashable food my mother, his favourite person in the whole world, would make for him.

Theory wins over practice

The spelling, the homework, trying to learn new words, holding the pencil the 'correct' way to write the 'correct' way, how to pronounce words 'correctly'...every little thing was a battle and seen as an attack on his routine.