Have a nap...or ten...

What a wild and woolly day it's been in Melbourne!
And under this roof, albeit for a short moment in the blip of the universe.
Aspie teen fell alseep after breakfast then after lunch, for no rhyme or reason, the grunting and punching started while he lay on the floor in front of us sitting on the couch so we studiously ignored him and passed insightful remarks about the TV show....
"That dress looks OW! quite nice on *gasp* her,"
"Yeah, she should OUCH! wear that OW! colour Ah ah ah ah! more AHHHHHH! often,"
"Did you grrrrrrrr! want another cup of Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! tea?"
"Thanks, but I'll OW! get it ouch!"

Needless to say our feet and shins are enormously grateful he was able to be talked down back into reality after briefly falling asleep.
Again.
Then he et a big tea...or rather he got me to feed him his meal (don't ask, it's a recent thing) then watched a bit of telly and promptly fell asleep.
Again.
Wish I could get to sleep as easily as he does....

A shower is not a conspiracy...really....

So, we're still alive.
We are black, blue, purple and brindle but we are still breathing.
Or so it's rumoured.
Staying on the quiet, keeping things even...steady....calm....
Sorta like holding back the waves of the ocean with your bare hands.
Yeah, and just as successful *snort*
-------------------------
Aspie teen has it set in his head that when he has a shower it HAS to be right before he goes to bed.
Not before and certainly not in any morning.
Unless he's got something on....then it takes days to get him psyched into an unscheduled shower.
So, tonight, we managed to talk him into having a hot, soothing shower to ease his aching muscles post-footy match in just 3 hours and without a major hiccup.
Mini meltdown that involved enough heavy breathing and wall-knocking stims that would make any Poltergeist happy certainly but it barely rated an  "oh, crap, not again " in light of recent events so we won't log that one.
Gave him a thorough back rub after the shower with the good old Deep Heat, then he was shocked at how much better his back felt and how much more easily he was able to move.
Yeah, we got vindicated, baby!!!!
Parents don't talk through a hole in their heads, woot!

Not drowning, dog paddling

We're going two steps forward and 1 step back; how do you explain grief and the turmoil of emotions of losing a loved one to an ASD teen who is almost completely disconnected from his own emotions and cannot identify how he feels at any particular time of the day?
Yep, fun and games!

The anger and fury is foremost, of course, but we have managed to get him to the stage of actually saying that he doesn't know why he is angry and hurting others.
This gives us the chance to explain to him about grief and the various stages; we've assured him he is perfectly normal in feeling the way he does but he needs to manage his feelings in a different manner.

We have the anger management poster and workbook from this site - they have some fabulous resources - which we've had for some time and is successful in helping him identify how his different emotions snowball into anger but he is still unable to readily identify how he actually feels.
Unless we talk him through it judging from the visual clues....like clenched teeth, clenched fists, frowns, snappy speech yet he can swear up and down that he's in a good mood/having a good time/calm...everything that is opposite to the physical features.

This is where he has a great deal of trouble in identifying something that has upset him from earlier in the day or the previous day when it's been able to fester in the back of his mind, colouring his thoughts on everything else in a bitter pall rather than seperate the one issue that irritated him and discuss it/ think it over, etc.

So, he sits there and worries that he isn't showing any grief at his Pa's passing while we are reassuring him that, yes, he most certainly is and pointing out the connections between his behaviour and emotions.
Which we will be enforcing with a suggesion from a friend - taking photos of him in different moods and helping him identify how he feels by getting him to look at the photos and change them on the cork board as his emotions fluctuate throughout the day and then helping him identify the triggers which have caused the change in his emotions - IE a good time at footy training made him happy, not understanding a maths equation made him frustrated, not catching the ball at cricket made him angry with himself, etc.

This is another good one for suggestions, tips, a brief run-down for friends, family members or teachers on managing emotional regulation and anxiety for kids on the Spectrum.
And of course on top of everything is the fear - his beloved paediatrician is retiring at the end of the year, the disability worker has resigned and we (assume) he'll have to start over over with a new worker, a couple of others on the footy team have radically changed in temperament which has disturbed more than just Aspie teen, and he's trying to work through his grief for his Pa.

Woot, we've almost slayed this beastie, let's line up the new one!

The insane festive season is almost done and dusted.
Give me a Hell Yeah!
And a high five.
And a hammock, foot massage, maybe a neck rub and a tall, tanned piece of eye candy to peel me a grape.
Aspie teen has had a few ups and downs but it is sooooooo much easier staying away from the insanity, not dragging him into the maelstrom, even avoiding big family gatherings.
It's just too cruel to make him deal with large amounts of people en masse then wait for the expectant meltdown afterwards.
Which involves a lot of broken things and pain for the parental units here, not to mention the stress and headaches all round.
And even more knocks to the poor kid's self-esteem which he doesn't need.
He catches up with rellies at quieter times and in smaller groups, leaving everyone with much happier memories and experiences.
We managed to hit Dunolly before Chrissy and saw the fab street decorations with the trees lit up in solar-powered fairy lights, shop windows brightly coloured and private gardens flickering with pretty lights in the pitch dark, which helped calm Aspie teen as he loves his home away from home.
As the Myer windows are unveiled and the Myer street parade takes the masses to the streets - we take to the road and head for the hills....of the Great Divide and beyond!
So, tomorrow night will be another quiet one for us all as we potter about and cheer in 2011 in our own fashion.
And probably explore a shedload of audiobooks from Yarra Plenty Library to celebrate!

Welcome to Groundhog Day

Another day, another series of (minor)  verbal meltdowns (lasting approx.10 mins) before, during and after brekkie.
Almost every day we have the same result with the same requests, no matter how we ask, structure it, phrase it, whatever.
Aspie teen directed to make his brekkie.
Point to breakfast schedule on fridge.
Meltdown. We will not play at slaves and make it for him. Tsk tsk.
Medications are in the dosette box.
Dosette box gets put in Aspie teen's hand with clear instructions to take his medicine.
He puts it on the table.
We are distracted by trying to get our own brekkie and my Dad sorted.
Dosette box still on table.
Aspie teen reminded to take meds.
Meltdown. We nag too much. Tsk tsk.
Have a shower.
Medicine still in dosette box on table.
Remind Aspie teen again.
Go off to get shoes on.
Medicine has moved to glass of water on windowsill.
Ask Aspie teen to have a shower.
Meltdown. We didn't give him enough warning. Tsk tsk.
Remind him he hasn't showered for about a week.
Firmly inform him, while he's grunting and becoming aggressive that today's outing will be cancelled if he continues to fight about a shower.
Remind him to wash his hair, to use shampoo and soap.
Point to schedule pinned to back of bathroom door.
Medicine still in glass on windowsill.
Almost 15 mins later shower is turned on.
Ask him to hurry up.
Meltdown. We nag too much. Tsk, tsk.
Almost 30 mins later remind him to turn water off and get out.
After he's dressed we remind him to put on deodorant.
Ask if he used shampoo, "No".
Soap? "No, I forgot".
Brushed your teeth? "Not yet!" snappy.
Remind him to have medicine.
"In a minute,"  grunting begins.
Frog march him into kitchen and stand over him while he swallows medicine.
Medicine actually down his gullet.
Send him to bathroom to clean teeth.
Later on train platform, waiting for train, ask him to tuck his shirt in.
"This is a punishment for before, isn't it?" he asks with gritted teeth.
"No, this is about you learning to pay some attention to your appearance."
See braces.
Half a bowl of cornflakes seem to be stuck in them.
"Did you clean your teeth when we asked?"
"No, I forgot."
What was he doing in the bathroom?
"I dunno, leave me alone, I can't remember everything!"
No, of course you can't.
That's what your mother is for, apparently....

When a meltdown is totally cool bananas

When we last saw our action heroes strange not-so-dynamic duo they were disappearing into the sunset for several days while a few GFDF recipes were scheduled for your entertainment.
Oh, how many ways can a laksa soup titillate you, how much stuffing can you achieve with a capsicum and just what  was that 3rd...(checks) oh yeah, Leftover Eggy Ring of Orgasm.
Maybe not.
I'm posting babbly stuff with photos over on the other blog that's in the blogroll over there if you want to waste some time instead of being industrious by ramming bamboo under your fingernails.
Let's catch up with our freaky family....
*Opening scene - Aspie teens bedroom which resembles a tip and has often been the site of unexpected life form discoveries*

MELTDOWN.

Thankfully the trashing of the room didn't really make that much difference to the pile of mess that was existing in this reality.
According to the offspring my perception of reality is vastly different to his, ergo the mess isn't really that bad.
Yeah, ta for that, Spock, baby, and try the broom handle on for size in your great mitt.
Yes, backward and forward motion, preferably to move the debris towards the rubbish bin, not further into the corner of your room where you're going to try to hide it behind another teetering tower of sci-fi books.
Oh, yeah, I got your number, baby, I know how your brain works.
Did I mention I got the sworn atheist, Darwinist, Big Bang theorist into a church on our holiday?
And he didn't
A) turn into Linda Blair from the Exorcist
B) didn't burst into flames
C) Horror of Horrors!!!! Enjoyed meeting the whole congregation of 12.
The meltdown is reaction to holding his gizzards together without losing it all over Central Victoria.
I can get that.
Is cool bananas, baby.

Shhh...

We've taken things back to basics and are trialling Aspie teen on just very basic literature tasks, such as reading & comprehension, words & meanings with appropriate use in sentences, etc.
As he's homeschooled we're able to be flexible with his work to suit what the Spectrum is throwing at us, thank goodness, and we can chop and change subjects to snare his attention and focus as it suits.
He's deeply disappointed at possibly having to skip footy, if he does further damage to his tendon this Sunday, but I reminded him the alternative was to sport a RoboBoot like Kelley.
He immediately understood having read about RoboBoot and how serious Kelley's injury had become, thus coming around to my way of thinking and taking it easy this footy match and resting himself as much as possible.
Yeah, could see that further injury would go down really well with him surfing the Hormone Waves at the moment!
Have been spraying lavender all over the house -it's supposed to soothe tempers and bring about a sense of calmness - so if it doesn't work at least the house smells pretty.
Still sticking to the GFDF diet, was going to make pasta from scratch but trialled the Orgran Rice and Corn Mini Lasagna sheets the other day - Very yummy, works well and just like regular lasagna sheets.

Send in the clowns....oh, wait, I'm here

Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate them, it makes me feel less isolated.
Aspie teen has stretched his Achilles tendon - he actually did it over a week ago at footy but it's got worse to the point he complained of a sore foot Tuesday night; high pain threshold + hypermobility = unexpected injuries weeks later.
Told he may have to consider sitting out the footy season til his body matures a bit more and play next year, depending on how he pulls up after footy this Sunday.
Major meltdown this morning which resulted in a spontaneous nose bleed from high blood pressure.
Another just now - both meltdown and blood nose but in reverse order where the sight of the blood may have been the trigger.
Or it might have been Saturn in the 4th house of Jupiter was the cause.
Dear Holly Robinson Peet "Puberty plus Autism? Challenging!"
I'd say you're being rather understated there, poppet, but Hell, I could kiss you silly for your words.
And though I highly doubt mine is experiencing seizures this article made so much sense, too.
Finally, another mention of almost everything we're going through here makes me feel normal.
Were any of you told of the possibility of seizures at puberty?
There's a fairy godmother flitting about somewhere handing out the goodies for all the teens hitting their hormone bootstraps when the silly old biddy hands out seizures to the Auties/Aspies.
The silly cow flits in, drops a great lump of hormones, rage, hormones, seething emotions, hormones, possible seizures and hormones on the ASD teen in the middle of the night and the next thing you know is you're living Invasion of The Body Snatchers.
Or Shaun of The Dead.
Except I don't do the fence hurdling too well.
I have to laugh cos I'm all cried out from today.

Meltdown averted

Today the lad is off on an excursion with his Russian school, which is a blessing as it's made him blend back into routine after the funeral otherwise he might have wound up having a meltdown and losing his shyte.

Social groups 2

My Aspie teen is off to his first social meeting soon, full of excitement and hope.
We've worded him up early, giving him time to adjust his thinking and mentally plan his movements around this new event on his calendar.
I'm prepared for an outburst as the date draws closer, perhaps some trepidation at meeting others or even just the fact teen girls will be included (we're still, just, at the "ewww, girl germs" stage).
There'll be a few flutters from his mother but his dad plans on plugging into his iPod while the teens socialise (his father's way of coping with new situations) so I'll be parked at home attempting to watch some murder mystery whodunit on the edge of my seat from waiting to see how it all went.

Changes = anxiety

We have friends coming to stay, from interstate, so it's a big thing.
Woohoo, very exciting stuffs!
The general cleaning and tidying is getting an extra going over, something which has sparked the anxieties in our son.
Any little change will crank up those anxieties in all people on the Spectrum.