I'm tired of people dismissing the 'hidden' disabilities.
I don't mean just those who don't realise a disability is present, I'm talking about those Joe Blows on the street who think they have the right to query a diagnosis.
Because, dontchaknow, they've scrubbed public toilets for years (and sandblasted god-knows-what off the toilet seats) and they KNOW about medical stuffs!
My darling Feral Aspie already has depression, on top of his other 'invisible' disabilities like autism, Aspergers, Tourettes, ADHD, OCD, anxiety, etc, without stupid strangers making him feel responsible for his behaviours.
We often get ignorant comments like "He doesn't seem that autistic," or "He seems fine to me," and even "Are you sure?".
So many times I've wanted to retort,
"Y'know, we're not sure. We have no fecking idea cos you know how all those medical specialists are, just making stuff up off the top of their heads like that every day,"
*insert wild eyeball rolling and disgusted throat noises*
And the same goes for mental illnesses.
I've had the comment of "You seem too happy to be depressed."
I've wondered if they were waiting for me to open a vein for their entertainment...you know,
"Pass the hors d' oeuvres, there'll be a blood splatter pattern on the carpet any minute..."
I've nursed hospitalised teens in the grip of a drug-induced psychosis' where parents continued to supply them with illegal drugs because "He doesn't seem that bad,".
"No, that's due to the fact he's in a freakin' hospital, under medical care where we don't administer the illegal drugs that caused the problem in the first freakin' place..."
It's one thing for a schizophrenic to feel better once medicated then think they're 'cured' and no longer need medication but when idiots question the illness they compound the pressure that person is under and, subtly, infer that the person is a liar.
One gorgeous gal I nursed was often questioned about her schizophrenia by strangers and even family members, with her parents refusing to believe she had a mental illness because,
"Who else is going to look after us in our old age?"
30 years after her initial diagnosis her tea-total father claimed it was the single snifter of sherry she had after tea each night that caused her 'problems'.
Who knew sherry was so evil?!
We need to stop this immediate distrust when someone confides their diagnosis and accept it.
Hopefully the International Day of People with a Disability will get through to some people and stop this discrimination.
Check out Rudely Interrupted, the rock band headlining Queabeyan's Festival of Ability on December 1.
Festival of Ability.
Showing posts with label OCD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label OCD. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Barefoot Beastie
I have the Feral Aspie teen at home for a few days as he has had part of his toenail permanently removed by a scalpel-wielding GP.
Thank Gawd!!!
Him being grumpy and irritable snapping "I dunno" when asked what the problem is makes for egg-shell walking at home.
Because he doesn't connect the pain in his foot with his irritable mood, being completely at odds with his emotions.
It's given him some breathing space from school, too, where he can relax and unwind, getting his head into a happier headspace before going back and managing the exams.
Which are causing all kinds of anxiety, no matter how much we reassure him.
I'm thinking the half-days he used to have as a youngster at primary school might be on our horizon, again.
With the increased heat, longer days and general angst with end of year exams, etc, I can see us bringing home a lot of his schoolwork to tackle it at home in the afternoons.
I may need to chat to the principal about part-time school and part-time homeschooling, to give Feral Aspie Beastie some time out and an escape from the bullies.
We'll see!
Thank Gawd!!!
Him being grumpy and irritable snapping "I dunno" when asked what the problem is makes for egg-shell walking at home.
Because he doesn't connect the pain in his foot with his irritable mood, being completely at odds with his emotions.
It's given him some breathing space from school, too, where he can relax and unwind, getting his head into a happier headspace before going back and managing the exams.
Which are causing all kinds of anxiety, no matter how much we reassure him.
I'm thinking the half-days he used to have as a youngster at primary school might be on our horizon, again.
With the increased heat, longer days and general angst with end of year exams, etc, I can see us bringing home a lot of his schoolwork to tackle it at home in the afternoons.
I may need to chat to the principal about part-time school and part-time homeschooling, to give Feral Aspie Beastie some time out and an escape from the bullies.
We'll see!
Friday, November 4, 2011
Some of The Secret Language explained
Ahhhh.
That's the sound of a deep, contented sigh.
My darling Feral Aspie geeky teen is getting some help through the school and is happy to discuss his issues.
Well, they are other kids' issues who have seen fit to make them Feral Aspie teen's issues but they are being dealt with.
We've done the usual "ignore them/ walk away/ don't speak back to them" speech for years.
And it is so much easier to say when you're not the person dealing with the angst, anxiety and fury at being the centre of someone else's bullying.
So, after another incident I sat him down and explained about "the secret language".
This is something you and I (and probably the Man in the Moon) know about instinctively.
But teens (mostly of the male variety) and those with difficulties reading social behaviours don't 'get it'.
I explained that someone teasing/bullying him is handing power over themselves to the victim.
When the victim ignores them, the bully ends up with egg on their face, looking like an idiot in front of friends.
And no feedback from the victim to continue the teasing.
But the moment the victim responds to the bullying they are handing the power back to the bully, feeding the monster with attention and giving them ammunition to continue.
When an older student gave them a mouthful of abuse as he walked past the other day, Feral teen and a friend automatically responded in kind.
In hindsight he understood how this inflamed the situation into shocking volumes.
I explained him to think of the Mountain Gorilla, sitting up banging his chest and grunting out a challenge to other males.
This is how this student (and most male teens) behave.
The moment people respond in kind it is the equivilent of the second male gorilla meeting the challenge and agreeing to a physical fight.
Feral Aspie teen understood immediately when I put "the secret language" into similies that he knew.
And, I think, he is finally understanding the intelligence behind the oft-repeated "ignore them/walk away" instructions as not a means to let the bully off but to keep the power in his own hands (and himself safe).
And now he's off at the GP getting his ingrown toenail - also known as the underlying bane of our existence - seen to.
So, I shall be waving my not-so-magic wand and disappearing myself into the backyard!
That's the sound of a deep, contented sigh.
My darling Feral Aspie geeky teen is getting some help through the school and is happy to discuss his issues.
Well, they are other kids' issues who have seen fit to make them Feral Aspie teen's issues but they are being dealt with.
We've done the usual "ignore them/ walk away/ don't speak back to them" speech for years.
And it is so much easier to say when you're not the person dealing with the angst, anxiety and fury at being the centre of someone else's bullying.
So, after another incident I sat him down and explained about "the secret language".
This is something you and I (and probably the Man in the Moon) know about instinctively.
But teens (mostly of the male variety) and those with difficulties reading social behaviours don't 'get it'.
I explained that someone teasing/bullying him is handing power over themselves to the victim.
When the victim ignores them, the bully ends up with egg on their face, looking like an idiot in front of friends.
And no feedback from the victim to continue the teasing.
But the moment the victim responds to the bullying they are handing the power back to the bully, feeding the monster with attention and giving them ammunition to continue.
When an older student gave them a mouthful of abuse as he walked past the other day, Feral teen and a friend automatically responded in kind.
In hindsight he understood how this inflamed the situation into shocking volumes.
I explained him to think of the Mountain Gorilla, sitting up banging his chest and grunting out a challenge to other males.
This is how this student (and most male teens) behave.
The moment people respond in kind it is the equivilent of the second male gorilla meeting the challenge and agreeing to a physical fight.
Feral Aspie teen understood immediately when I put "the secret language" into similies that he knew.
And, I think, he is finally understanding the intelligence behind the oft-repeated "ignore them/walk away" instructions as not a means to let the bully off but to keep the power in his own hands (and himself safe).
And now he's off at the GP getting his ingrown toenail - also known as the underlying bane of our existence - seen to.
So, I shall be waving my not-so-magic wand and disappearing myself into the backyard!
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Black Balloon is my life...almost
Finally watched The Black Balloon last night.
Yeah, yeah, call me slow but the universe conspired against me seeing this movie until now.
Aspie teen insisted on watching it and had a few moments throughout, identifying with a number of behaviours and events.
The scene where Thomas goes nuts on his 16th birthday and things get broken?
A mere blink of an eyelid in our house; that scene goes on and on and on and on here, sometimes everyday, in one form or another.
The human services at the front door due to sticky nose neighbours?
Yep, had 'em here due to a new neighbour (who didn't want to meet anyone in the street) claiming we were tormenting Aspie toddler when we were trying to toilet train him.
Toilet training was a nightmare and deserves a whole post on its own.
No, seriously, it does.
And you will thank me for it.
Maybe.
The scene where the mainstream school kids are picking on Charlie?
Eldest daughter's high school was near Aspie boy's autistic school and a number of her (male) classmates found it necessary to stand near the fence at recess and inform the younger children of their correct titles their parents had forgotten to tell them.
Titles like retard, dipshit, spastic, fucktard, and others.
Eldest daughter tried defending the younger kids but was laughed at, which made her mad.
Teachers did nothing.
So she told her mummy.
Her mummy and Aspie boy met the ring leader on his way home from school one day and, seeing as he'd battled getting his message across large playing areas and a fence, he was politely offered the chance to inform Aspie boy to his face what his correct title was.
Sadly, the ring leader felt the need to start training for the 1 km dash and was last seen galloping down the street with a 4 year old in hot pursuit.
About a week later someone who looked like the former ring leader apologised to eldest daughter and Aspie boy.
I guess it took him a week to grow a pair of balls.
I digress.
The Black Balloon is my life...almost.
We will have Aspie teen living with us forever, we will have to troubleshoot a lot of life for him, we will have to continually explain things and correct his misconceptions.
But, unlike the movie ending, we will not be sharing a bath tub with him.....
Cos the little bugger WILL pee on our leg!
Yeah, yeah, call me slow but the universe conspired against me seeing this movie until now.
Aspie teen insisted on watching it and had a few moments throughout, identifying with a number of behaviours and events.
The scene where Thomas goes nuts on his 16th birthday and things get broken?
A mere blink of an eyelid in our house; that scene goes on and on and on and on here, sometimes everyday, in one form or another.
The human services at the front door due to sticky nose neighbours?
Yep, had 'em here due to a new neighbour (who didn't want to meet anyone in the street) claiming we were tormenting Aspie toddler when we were trying to toilet train him.
Toilet training was a nightmare and deserves a whole post on its own.
No, seriously, it does.
And you will thank me for it.
Maybe.
The scene where the mainstream school kids are picking on Charlie?
Eldest daughter's high school was near Aspie boy's autistic school and a number of her (male) classmates found it necessary to stand near the fence at recess and inform the younger children of their correct titles their parents had forgotten to tell them.
Titles like retard, dipshit, spastic, fucktard, and others.
Eldest daughter tried defending the younger kids but was laughed at, which made her mad.
Teachers did nothing.
So she told her mummy.
Her mummy and Aspie boy met the ring leader on his way home from school one day and, seeing as he'd battled getting his message across large playing areas and a fence, he was politely offered the chance to inform Aspie boy to his face what his correct title was.
Sadly, the ring leader felt the need to start training for the 1 km dash and was last seen galloping down the street with a 4 year old in hot pursuit.
About a week later someone who looked like the former ring leader apologised to eldest daughter and Aspie boy.
I guess it took him a week to grow a pair of balls.
I digress.
The Black Balloon is my life...almost.
We will have Aspie teen living with us forever, we will have to troubleshoot a lot of life for him, we will have to continually explain things and correct his misconceptions.
But, unlike the movie ending, we will not be sharing a bath tub with him.....
Cos the little bugger WILL pee on our leg!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Groundhog Day/time loop...shoving shyte uphill like Sisyphus
Sorry, Sisyphus only shoved a great thunderingly huge rock, not shyte.
Bet he wished he shoved shyte, instead.
I digress...
I get to experience a time loop each.and.every.single.fecking.day.
Think of it as Groundhog Day, repeating the same shyte over and over and over and over ad infinitum.
Until you finally correct your mistake (Groundhog Day film) and then time advances forward in a normal fashion once more.
Or, if you're lucky enough to be me, it doesn't.
You're stuck with the same thing happening over and over and over and over again ad infinitum.
Or until I drop dead.
That's if I'm allowed to die.
Could turn out to be one of those computer games where the damn characters get a bazillion lives to be smooshed, mauled, crashed and splattered any which way you can imagine.
So, do I try to change things to prevent the repetition? (I'm asked by well-meaning-but-brain-dead-people who don't know the difference between your/you're and smell of cod liver oil).
Why, golly gosh, that had never crossed my mind at all.*rolls eyes*
Yes, sarcasm, it's often wasted on these people as they don't recognise it unless they're slapped in the face with a wet fish and even then some are iffy.
Have I tried asking the Aspie teen what causes his fury? (Again, the imagaination of these twits knows many boundaries). *more wild eye rolling*
Have we tried medication/diet/exercise/running away to a circus?
No, although we pursued many meals of wild thistles sprinkled with imported free range slugs raised solely on organic strawberries and gooseberries whilst washing it down with jellied eels, sauteed worms then licking the back of a cane toad for recreational purposes.
And that was just for my father.
So, the time loop/Groundhog Day goes on....every day of 2011 so far.
I'm determined to find something decent in this year (typed through gritted teeth) even if I have to choke the living shyte out of this fecking 12 months and kick it to the kerb when it's replacement shows up in 361 days.
Bet he wished he shoved shyte, instead.
I digress...
I get to experience a time loop each.and.every.single.fecking.day.
Think of it as Groundhog Day, repeating the same shyte over and over and over and over ad infinitum.
Until you finally correct your mistake (Groundhog Day film) and then time advances forward in a normal fashion once more.
Or, if you're lucky enough to be me, it doesn't.
You're stuck with the same thing happening over and over and over and over again ad infinitum.
Or until I drop dead.
That's if I'm allowed to die.
Could turn out to be one of those computer games where the damn characters get a bazillion lives to be smooshed, mauled, crashed and splattered any which way you can imagine.
So, do I try to change things to prevent the repetition? (I'm asked by well-meaning-but-brain-dead-people who don't know the difference between your/you're and smell of cod liver oil).
Why, golly gosh, that had never crossed my mind at all.*rolls eyes*
Yes, sarcasm, it's often wasted on these people as they don't recognise it unless they're slapped in the face with a wet fish and even then some are iffy.
Have I tried asking the Aspie teen what causes his fury? (Again, the imagaination of these twits knows many boundaries). *more wild eye rolling*
Have we tried medication/diet/exercise/running away to a circus?
No, although we pursued many meals of wild thistles sprinkled with imported free range slugs raised solely on organic strawberries and gooseberries whilst washing it down with jellied eels, sauteed worms then licking the back of a cane toad for recreational purposes.
And that was just for my father.
So, the time loop/Groundhog Day goes on....every day of 2011 so far.
I'm determined to find something decent in this year (typed through gritted teeth) even if I have to choke the living shyte out of this fecking 12 months and kick it to the kerb when it's replacement shows up in 361 days.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Woot, we've almost slayed this beastie, let's line up the new one!
The insane festive season is almost done and dusted.
Give me a Hell Yeah!
And a high five.
And a hammock, foot massage, maybe a neck rub and a tall, tanned piece of eye candy to peel me a grape.
Aspie teen has had a few ups and downs but it is sooooooo much easier staying away from the insanity, not dragging him into the maelstrom, even avoiding big family gatherings.
It's just too cruel to make him deal with large amounts of people en masse then wait for the expectant meltdown afterwards.
Which involves a lot of broken things and pain for the parental units here, not to mention the stress and headaches all round.
And even more knocks to the poor kid's self-esteem which he doesn't need.
He catches up with rellies at quieter times and in smaller groups, leaving everyone with much happier memories and experiences.
We managed to hit Dunolly before Chrissy and saw the fab street decorations with the trees lit up in solar-powered fairy lights, shop windows brightly coloured and private gardens flickering with pretty lights in the pitch dark, which helped calm Aspie teen as he loves his home away from home.
As the Myer windows are unveiled and the Myer street parade takes the masses to the streets - we take to the road and head for the hills....of the Great Divide and beyond!
So, tomorrow night will be another quiet one for us all as we potter about and cheer in 2011 in our own fashion.
And probably explore a shedload of audiobooks from Yarra Plenty Library to celebrate!
Give me a Hell Yeah!
And a high five.
And a hammock, foot massage, maybe a neck rub and a tall, tanned piece of eye candy to peel me a grape.
Aspie teen has had a few ups and downs but it is sooooooo much easier staying away from the insanity, not dragging him into the maelstrom, even avoiding big family gatherings.
It's just too cruel to make him deal with large amounts of people en masse then wait for the expectant meltdown afterwards.
Which involves a lot of broken things and pain for the parental units here, not to mention the stress and headaches all round.
And even more knocks to the poor kid's self-esteem which he doesn't need.
He catches up with rellies at quieter times and in smaller groups, leaving everyone with much happier memories and experiences.
We managed to hit Dunolly before Chrissy and saw the fab street decorations with the trees lit up in solar-powered fairy lights, shop windows brightly coloured and private gardens flickering with pretty lights in the pitch dark, which helped calm Aspie teen as he loves his home away from home.
As the Myer windows are unveiled and the Myer street parade takes the masses to the streets - we take to the road and head for the hills....of the Great Divide and beyond!
So, tomorrow night will be another quiet one for us all as we potter about and cheer in 2011 in our own fashion.
And probably explore a shedload of audiobooks from Yarra Plenty Library to celebrate!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Autism doco and blather
Reminder to those who requested it that tonight at 10.05pm on ABC1 is "Alone in a Crowded Room" a 1 hour doco on what happens to autistic children when they grow up.
Full synopsis available to read HERE.
Some people - and many govt depts - seem to think autistic kids outgrow their autism, although in my experience that misconception in govt depts does appear to have a direct correlation to budgets and funding.
Sorry, is my cynicism showing again?
Should be an interesting show!
So, the Aspie teen is off at his first footy match this morning; both he and his dad were up before the crack of dawn, heating up soup for the thermos, buttering rolls and obsessively double, triple, quadruple checking backpacks were packed correctly.
A little song we nurses used to sing..."What's that refrain that goes through my brain? OCD ! OCD!"
Leaving moi to run amok about the house.
The possibilities of what I could get up to...while supervising Dad...areinnumerable.. countless.. several.. a few I can count on 1 hand.
Oh, be still my beating heart!
It shall be crochet hooks at 30 paces with yarn flung about with wild abandon.
Full synopsis available to read HERE.
Some people - and many govt depts - seem to think autistic kids outgrow their autism, although in my experience that misconception in govt depts does appear to have a direct correlation to budgets and funding.
Sorry, is my cynicism showing again?
Should be an interesting show!
So, the Aspie teen is off at his first footy match this morning; both he and his dad were up before the crack of dawn, heating up soup for the thermos, buttering rolls and obsessively double, triple, quadruple checking backpacks were packed correctly.
A little song we nurses used to sing..."What's that refrain that goes through my brain? OCD ! OCD!"
Leaving moi to run amok about the house.
The possibilities of what I could get up to...while supervising Dad...are
Oh, be still my beating heart!
It shall be crochet hooks at 30 paces with yarn flung about with wild abandon.
Monday, March 8, 2010
More not so merrier
Tourette's showed up at our house one day when I noticed the very subtle head shake.
I don't remember inviting Tourette's in the door but there it was, blinking rapidly at me and jerking the head to the left ever-so-slightly.
So, we had medication for the anxiety, medication for the aggressive behaviour and now we had to consider medication for the new unwanted guest, Tourette's.
I don't remember inviting Tourette's in the door but there it was, blinking rapidly at me and jerking the head to the left ever-so-slightly.
So, we had medication for the anxiety, medication for the aggressive behaviour and now we had to consider medication for the new unwanted guest, Tourette's.
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